Different Worlds
by msmadelineclancy
Summary: Nine different versions of how Katie and Ned meet, but no matter what they still fall helplessly in love with each other. AU COMPLETE
1. Teacher AU

**A/N: Katie's the newly divorced English teacher at Grandview Middle and Ned's son is her student. They went to high school together, but were never that close. AU**

* * *

Ned sighed, running his hand through his hair in frustration. He looked through every folder of paperwork that he'd gotten from his son's school but couldn't find the school supply list. He was sure he'd gotten almost all of the stuff he needed, otherwise his mother probably got the last.

He moved across the room and to the hallway, going into his son's room. He grabbed the new backpack off the hook and opened it, looking to see if the list happened to be in there.

"Cooper, where is your supply list?" He asked as he searched through his son's backpack.

"I dunno," responded the almost-twelve-year-old blond-haired, blue-eyed boy from behind a giant Lego tower in front of his bed. "I thought you had it."

"Coop, I thought we talked about this. You need to keep your school stuff together this year. Middle school is different." He groaned with some menace in his voice.

"I don't know where it is! Check the kitchen counter," the boy yelled this time, his voice ending in a shrill whine.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair again as he walked out of the room and searched through the pile of papers on the counter in the kitchen. It was high time that his son learned to keep his school things in order. He was in middle school now.

However, the reality was that Cooper was only just becoming comfortable with being independent after the events of the last couple of years. The boy had been devastated when Ned and his mother had broken up, and it had gotten worse when she had moved across the country to pursue her college degree. As much as it had hurt him, after a few years, he was able to forgive Leah and move on.

They'd been together since high school and Ned knew that Leah had always dreamed of getting a chance to leave Grandview. She'd given that up when she'd gotten pregnant with Cooper, but when he was six she'd put in an application at Stanford on a whim. She'd gotten in. It was a once and a lifetime opportunity, one that he could forgive.

His son's normally upbeat nature would not reveal how much he missed his mother desperately and could not comprehend a world in which his mother would not want to be with him every single day. It broke Ned's heart every time and made it very difficult to be hard on his boy.

"Okay, I guess we could pick up another list at orientation tonight. You ready to go, little dude?" He asked.

His son gave an exaggerated sigh from behind a second tower as he worked to create an intergalactic city from the giant box of lego pieces. Ned knew that sigh meant that his son was engaged in a very important project, from which he did not want to be disturbed. Having given up on trying to get Cooper to cooperate, he examined his outfit as the boy worked, making sure his clothes were clean and his socks at least matched.

He never ceased to be amazed by the uncanny resemblance the boy shared with him. Landon had the same chin, nose and mouth as his father, even the shock of curly, blond hair. The only thing one could recognize of his mother was the color of his eyes. As his friend, Devon, liked to say, there was no way he could deny that he was his son.

"Bud, I'm going to the door and I'm leaving you in one minute if you don't get your shoes on. We're going to be late," he groused. "You don't want to make a bad impression on your new teachers do you?"

"Are my friends going to be there?" Cooper asked as he landed his X-Wing Fighter on the roof of one of the towers.

"Of course! All the parents are invited to visit the homeroom classes, so I'm sure you will see your friends." This argument was persuasive enough to make his son get up and put on his own sneakers. "You get to meet your new homeroom teacher, too. Do you remember who she was? I think Grandma told me, but I don't remember." Ned continued as he grabbed the car keys from the counter and shut the door behind them.

"Uh, Grandma did tell you. It's Ms. Clancy. She wasn't there last year." Landon explained as they waited for the elevator. "Carson's mom met her at Walmart when they were shopping and he said she was old!"

"Really?" He chuckled. "What else do you know?"

They were soon on their way down to the lobby of their building and then in his car to drive to the school as his son continued to share his version of gossip with this father.

"She's, like 30 years old, dad!" Cooper became close to hysterical over the summer and though he didn't want to encourage him, he couldn't help but smile at the way his son found such great pleasure in flatulence. "Carson's mom also said something about her getting a divorce. What's that?"

Ned glanced over at his son as they walked out onto the street in front of the school. His teacher had gotten a divorce? How did he know that?

"Well, that's when two married people don't want to be married anymore, so they get a divorce." He explained. "But that's not something you talk about with your teacher, okay?"

"Okay, dad. I won't." The boy sighed. "Is that you and mom did?"

"Your mom and I never got married, bud. We were together for a long time, almost ten years, but that's in the past son." He said, rubbing his back. "But we'll be in the cafeteria no time and you'll be able to see just how old Ms. Clancy really is." He quipped as he opened the front doors, eliciting another round of giggles from Cooper.

* * *

Grandview Middle School was a small neighborhood school in east Grandview. Normally, he and Cooper walked to school (it was only a couple blocks from their apartment) but the weather report promised rain in the evening and Ned did not want to be caught in a storm on the way home.

They arrived in the main office to get a new supply list, where they were redirected to the or the cafeteria which doubled as an auditorium, where a brief presentation would be taking place. Ned took his place next to his friend Devon and his wife Kasey while Cooper proceeded to climb under chairs try to find somewhere fun too with Jacob, their son.

"Coop! Chairs are to sit in," Ned said helplessly as he and Jacob crawled their way towards Carson in the next row.

"Kid keeps you in shape, right, Ned?" Devon cackled. "That little trio of hooligans are all in the same homeroom. I wish that new teacher good luck."

Kasey laughed. "Oh, you'd be surprised! They act better when they aren't around their parents. Anyway, I met Ms. Clancy. She seems like the type who can handle them."

Ned was about to respond when he looked up at a table covered in pamphlets and captured the glance of the most amazing brown eyes he'd ever seen, completely fixed on him as he spoke. However, the moment he made eye contact, her eyes flitted away and she continued to fuss with the materials on the table, turning her back to him.

He felt the heat rush to his ears and was sure they were the color of ripe tomatoes. Her skin was a clear olive-tone and her dark brown hair was fixed in a neat bun that was secured to the back of her head. She was tall, maybe 5'9." She had more of athletic build, but her curves were perfect for her size. She stretched across the table to reach for a pen and he could not help admire the curve of her hips and thighs that the jeans she wore only accentuated.

Ned hadn't really dated anyone since he'd broken up with Cooper's mother six years ago. First, there was the fact that he had a hard time getting over Leah, but then, of course, he was just plain scared of dating. He had been with Leah since they were in high school and were going on their tenth anniversary when she decided to move away for school. He had no clue what it meant to date anymore and he didn't want to bring a parade of women in front of his son. Especially not after the one time he had and Cooper didn't even remotely like the woman.

Meanwhile, though, there was this woman who was absolutely gorgeous and looked so familiar. Had he seen her before? He certainly would've remembered seeing her before, wouldn't he? Ned swallowed, his mouth having gone dry, and he panted slightly. Those deep and warm eyes seemed to flit towards him every time he looked away. At one point, he forgot his manners and simply stared at her. Just as he was sure he had made a perfect fool of himself, but the lights dimmed and the Powerpoint presentation began. He scanned the chairs around him and was relieved to find Cooper, Jacob, and Carson sitting together in the row in front of them, the light from Jacob's cellphone illuminating their features as they played with an app.

Normally, he paid attention to these presentations – there were slides about school grades, extra-curricular activities and upcoming events but he could not help but steal a look at that beautiful woman every few minutes, occasionally catching her in the act of studying him also.

When the presentation was over, the lovely woman had disappeared and something in his chest plummeted. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen her leave. Filled with a vague disappointment, Ned followed Devon, who made sure he had a map and chatted amiably with him as they made their way to room 104, where their sons would start their sixth-grade adventure.

Ned physically shook himself – there was no reason to feel the way he was feeling. He had no business worrying about a woman, no matter how attractive, when Cooper took so much of his time and energy. Not to mention that he worked at the Grandview Police department and that took up a lot of time too.

When they arrived at Ms. Clancy's door, there was a crowd of parents milling about the room, some signing in at the sign-in table, some studying the classroom library, which was substantial. Ms. Clancy taught one of the sixth-grade homeroom blocks and English, according to the class schedule that was available next to the sign-in sheet.

"Hey, Dad! There's Ms. Clancy!" Cooper said excitedly as Jacob and Carson giggled.

He waited patiently while the other parents cleared out to make his way to the area where he heard a raspy, throaty woman's voice describing the expectations of the class. He became almost light-headed when the woman at the front of the room turned out to be the elusive woman in the cafeteria. She spoke calmly and precisely as if she had delivered this speech at least one hundred times.

"Grades will be awarded by assignment type and weighed according to a scale adopted by our grade level team…" her words trailed off when her eyes fell on Ned. For a moment, her mouth opened and closed without a sound before she appeared to remember that there were two other parents that she had been speaking who were hanging on her every word. "…eh, um, team. Right and uh, homework…students have a…uh…standing homework assignment to read at least 20 days…I mean 20 minutes each night," she ended breathlessly.

When the couple walked away, she turned towards Ned, visibly gulping in a deep breath before offering him her hand. "My name is Ms. Clancy. I will be your child's homeroom and English teacher this year." She said, rushing each word out of her mouth.

"I'm Cooper's father, Ned. I know he is dying to meet you, though I think he is messing around with his friend at the moment." He chuckled as he watched the boys play around in the small reading area in the classroom.

"Yeah, well, kids will be kids. I like to take them out a couple of times a day, in addition to their PE time. Kids just need to move and our schedules don't build in enough time for the kids to get really good physical activity." Ms. Clancy blushed furiously as she said this.

Ned watched his son, thinking about the way some days, Cooper was on the go non-stop, not unlike to when he was a kid, according to his mother. "Cooper will climb the walls if he doesn't get to burn some energy." He smiled, looking down at her, a feeling of euphoria inexplicably washing over him at the fact that she had not gotten away.

"Cooper Banks. I remember seeing his name on the roster and remembering we went to high school together." Ms. Clancy explained. "He's a cute kid, looks just like you."

His eyes widened in surprise. She did look familiar! He only remembered a little, she had been on the complete opposite side of the crowd than him in high school. She had been the student body president and all about school. The mousy, quiet girl who ran the study center in the library.

Yes, that was her. Katie Clancy.

Her smile faltered when she realized what she just said. She looked down, shuffling a handful of unsharpened pencils in her fidgety hands. "I didn't mean that you...he is…" her sentence trailed off in confusion.

He bought his head down so no one could hear him. "You're not half bad yourself, Katie." He whispered smoothly, leaving her speechless as he straightened up to watch his son play.

"You remember my name?" She asked.

"Student body president," he said. "I voted for you because you wanted to give seniors an open campus for lunch. Best idea ever."

She laughed, nodding. "I got a lot of people with that. My dad's idea."

"Genius," he said, chuckling. Turning toward her, he became serious. He made it a point of letting Cooper's teachers know about his home environment so they could address any needs that might arise as his son continued to adjust to his mother's absence. "I...ah, about Cooper. You see, he is a really great kid and is smart, but he's had a rough couple of years." He said carefully. "His mother...my ex...she kind of walked out on us when he was six. He doesn't see her very often, only on skype… it's hard on him." He took a deep breath, shocked that even after so much time, it never failed to get him how easy she was able to leave. He glanced at Ms. Clancy, who had gone pale at the confession. "So...if you see him struggling with anything… let me know, will you?"

Ms. Clancy placed her hand on his arm. "I'm so sorry, Ned. I never even knew that you and Leah had broken up. I guess I should be more connected, but things have been rough these past couple of months. That's why I moved back home and took this job. I'm sorry, you didn't need my sob story. You were telling me yours."

"It's okay. I mean, I'm still struggling it, and he's just barely a teenager…" He couldn't finish. "I heard about your divorce. I'm sorry about that."

"Oh, you did?" She sighed, rubbing her temple. She changed the subject. She didn't want to talk about it, that was obvious. "But, back to Cooper. It's hard losing a parent, it compounds with being abandoned. I understand where he's coming from." she said, her eyes clouding over with an internal sadness and he suddenly wished he could know every secret buried in her heart. The overwhelming intensity of that feeling left him somewhat breathless. "I'll keep an eye on him, I promise," she said with obvious sincerity.

He smiled, thinking to himself that someone like her would never get near him now, especially not with knowing him and Leah from high school and having just gotten divorced. He held out his hand to her. "Thank you for letting us take a tour of your classroom. I think the kids will really like it."

Ms. Clancy nodded at this. "Your welcome. If you need anything at all, you know what room I'm in and my email is on the take-home sheet." She said, taking his hand in turn, a wave of warmth radiating from the point where they touched.

"Of course. Thank you." He held onto her hand for a beat too long before dropping her hand in embarrassment. He began to move away to find Cooper when she stopped him.

"Wait! Take this." She scribbled something on the back of the classroom schedule paper. "In case you want to get in touch with me...about Cooper. Or maybe you want to talk more about other ways to help him be successful." She smiled sheepishly. "Or maybe if you just want to talk. I'm not good at this..."

He looked down to see a mobile number written in neat, cursive handwriting. He folded it carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket, his heart doing backflips in his chest. "I'll be getting in touch with you, Ms. Clancy. Thank you," he said before turning towards the boys who were waiting outside the classroom door. "I thought you said she was old?" He tousled Carson's hair, laughing at him.

"But she is!" Carson insisted, making Cooper and Jacob giggle in response.

Casting one last glance over his shoulder at Katie, Ned said, more to himself than to Cooper, "You know what, buddy? I think this is going to be an excellent school year."


	2. Abusive Relationship AU

**A/N: No ghosts. Katie's path never crossed Ned's and Andrea never died in this one. They both grew up in Grandview, but their roads just missed each other being on opposite ends of town. Until now, Katie moved back to Grandview with her husband and was trapped in a marriage she knew she had to get out of soon, but was too scared. Can Ned help her free herself from Toby? AU**

**Ages needed because I changed the Clancy kids age gaps as well as Katie and Ned's too haha:**

**Ned - 26**  
**Katie - 26**  
**Toby - 28**

**Jim - 56**  
**Melinda - 54**  
**Andrea - 54**

**Aaron - 24**  
**Mackenzie - 22**  
**Lana - 18**  
**Emma -16**

* * *

Boxes. There were so many boxes.

As Katie Clancy-Saunders stood in the middle of her living room, all that surrounded her was boxes. She crossed her arms over her stomach and bit her lip as she took the scene in around her.

Hours and hours of hard work; blood, sweat, and tears had resulted in this. Mostly everything was packed up, almost everything was collected into the boxes that surrounded her and still, she felt like there was so much more to do.

Her teeth dug into her lip deeper for a second as she walked over to the wall where some framed photos still hug and stared at the photo staring back at her. Two happy, smiling faces stared back at her.

A different time, almost five years prior when she and Toby were on vacation in Hawaii for their honeymoon. They both have flower leis around their necks and they both looked happy. For a short moment, she managed a small smile at the memories that the picture conjures up. The good, happy memories.

It hasn't always been this bad. She hadn't always been afraid of her husband. When she first met Toby, he was sweet. He wrote poetry for her. He was the first man she had ever been intimate with. And at the time, she thought the sex was good enough. He was kind and generous, always joking around and making me laugh. He was handsome, wonderful in every way and she began to think there was no one else she would ever want to be with.

Looking back, she should have read the signs sooner. The few times she did take him home to Grandview while they were dating in college were disasters. She could tell he hated everything about small towns; he became moody and rolled his eyes when her mom spoke and didn't try making any actual conversation with her dad. And even worse, she was positive that she caught him eyeing up Mackenzie at least a dozen times.

She chose to ignore it, knowing if she asked him about it, he would turn it around on her as if she was the crazy one. When he asked her to marry him, she said yes. And even then, she knew it was because he was saying all the right things and she wanted so badly to find a love like her parents.

And Toby was there, saying all the right things and spoiling her with gifts and she hung on every word because of the idea of finding her true love, the kind some people only read about in booked, but she had been lucky enough to see between her parents.

But instead of happiness, their arguments got worse when they were engaged. It was like they were fighting about everything and when yelling didn't take enough of the anger away, Toby hit her. When slapping wasn't enough he started to shove and kick her, in any place that wouldn't show. If he was mad enough, he didn't care.

She became so lost in her own thoughts, that she didn't hear the footsteps that were coming up behind her.

"Katie?" Mackenzie, her younger sister, tapped her on the hip to get her attention.

She nearly jumped out of her skin and turned around to look at the younger blonde. "Jeez. Mack, hi," she pushed her hair out of her face as she turned to look at her. "What's up? Did you bring down all those boxes in the front hall?"

Mackenzie nodded. "Yeah, dad, Aaron, and Toby should be on the last load up front, so the ones in here are the last of them." Her sister's hip bumped hers and she winced, rubbing her side. "What's wrong with you? You and Toby getting creative with where you two do it?"

Katie rolled her eyes and rubbed her side tenderly. "No, just hit the counter at work the wrong way the other day."

"Oh. Is it weird?" Mackenzie asked.

"Is what weird?" She asked, turning around to grab a box and bring it into the entryway. Her arms and shoulders ached as she picked it up and ached as she set it down.

"Working as a waitress when you should be teaching," Mackenzie said as she followed her with one.

"Mackenzie, not again." She scoffed and walked back into the living room to get another box. "I don't need to be reminded of the job I lost. I can't change the fact that I was laid off and so was Toby. Why do you think we're moving to Grandview?"

"Maybe there will be a teaching job back home. Are you happy you're coming back home? I'm so excited to be able to hang out with you more." Even at twenty-two, Mackenzie still asked her as many questions as she did when she was ten.

She picked at her fingernails, chipping the light pink nail polish that she had just applied to her nails the night before. "I know, me too." She said. "I'm excited to only be ten minutes away and not three hours."

When they both brought in their second boxes and Katie noticed that their father had not come up, she sent Mackenzie to go investigate.

She watched her walk away, and couldn't help but sigh. As excited as she was to go home and be closer to her family, she didn't want to move. She had been shocked when Toby had come in and announced he'd lost his job. His job as a stockbroker was what had originally kept them in New York at first, and had held a lot of promise. Or so that's how he had sold it. She had been wide-eyed and barely twenty at the time, newly engaged to a man she barely even knew that well, but so sure she loved him and that he loved her too.

She wasn't as sure about that anymore, just as she wasn't sure if going home was their best option. She'd been surprised that her husband had agreed to move to Grandview so easily because going home meant keeping up with appearances with her family and hopefully keeping his anger at bay.

Maybe luck was on her side this time. But that didn't mean it was all going to be easy.

She reached forward to take the picture of her and Toby from their honeymoon off the wall, before walking it to the box filled with bubble wrap. She continued to take the last of photos off the wall, a mix of younger pictures of them both, other candids like the Hawaii adventure, and family photos. It was a collage of their best memories, and they were meant most to outweigh all of the bad ones.

She worked quickly and with purpose, striping the walls of the personal mementos. When she was finished, she taped the box closed once and for all and looked around to survey her handy work. As she stood in the middle of the empty apartment, the last box packed and taped closer, Katie couldn't help but feel her hands start to tremble. She had tried to be strong the last few days, tried to hold it together for fear of Toby's reaction, but she had packed up the house she had lived in with her husband for almost half a decade. Every nook and cranny of this apartment held memo her.

"Are you coming or what?" Katie flinched when she heard Toby's voice behind her. She clasped her hands together and turned around to find her husband standing in the doorway, black stretched across his chest, dark aviator sunglasses on his face. "Your dad brought down the last load. Is that the last one?"

She could only nod, before grabbing her purse on the floor and slinging it across her shoulders. She watched as he came to grab it, nearly sliding out of his way, just in case he was still angry with her.

"Where is Mack?" She asked.

"She's downstairs. Let's move," he snapped.

She moved a little faster as her heart rate sped up from his yelling, and because he was rushing her, she didn't have the time to be nostalgic about closing the front door behind her. Toby grabbed the handle before she could, and slammed the door closed to the home that had been theirs for over five years.

She bit her lip as she followed down the sidewalk to the street where her dad's truck was parked. Once they were down there she headed for her car.

The house was finally all empty. Katie and Toby were moving back to Grandview.

* * *

With the help of Katie's family, they were able to move everything they needed without a hitch that weekend. It had taken the couple a bit to settle, but things were good for once. Not as many fights, and certainly not as many bruises for Katie to try and hide. For now.

She was so glad things between her and Toby were good. Even if that meant tiptoeing around him like she was walking through a field of mines.

Katie sat crossed legged on the floor of the living room digging into the Chinese food she had ordered from a place down the street and couldn't help that small sigh of relief that passed her lips. Maybe things would finally be good. Maybe Grandview was good for them.

Their new adventure was starting and she was going to force herself to remain positive, to keep the glass half full if even for a moment. But those thoughts were quickly kyboshed when she heard a few choice, yet quiet, words falling from Toby's mouth.

The food they were eating wasn't horrible by any stretch of the imagination, in her opinion, it's pretty hard to mess up chicken chow mein and chop suey. But as words of disgust continued to fall from his lips, so often that she can't ignore them as she tried to eat, she couldn't help but feel like she has done something wrong.

"What's wrong, babe?" She asked, glancing up at him. Sh had to be right about her tone, about her word choice. About everything when it came to Toby. Anything could set him off.

"You couldn't have bothered to actually cook something?" Toby muttered as he moved his fork around his to-go container. "This is the third day of takeout."

"I'm really sorry, but it's just been hard to cook when I haven't had the time to put the kitchen together. Do you want another beer?" Katie stood up from the floor and reached for the one on the floor next to him. She'd thought it was empty.

"I'm not finished with this one yet," he grunted in response, throwing his hand up to deflect hers. "Are you stupid?" His foot collided with her ankle as he meant to trip her, slamming his beer back down on the ground.

Katie lost her footing but regained it quickly. As she stood up, she tried to calm herself and offered him a smile. "I'll get you another one," she whispered.

The minute Katie entered the kitchen, she'd lost control of her emotions. Tears burst forth like a damn overrun by water and she couldn't stop them. She tried her best to hold them in, but they kept rolling down her had always tried her best not to cry in front of Toby, it usually made things worse.

The floorboards squeaked under her husband's feet and Katie immediately felt her back go rigid and tears dry up. She went to the fridge, grabbing a beer off the door and unscrewing the top.

"Here, babe, I'm sorry I took too long..." she started as she tried to ignore the imposing stance of her husband only a few feet away. She heard him take another step before she looked up at him and held out the bottle.

She swallowed as he neared her. "What the fuck were you doing in here?" His voice wasn't very loud, but the deep timbre spoke volumes to her and she immediately swallowed hard. "I can't hear you..." He took a step closer, grabbing the beer from her and slamming it against the wall.

She dropped her gaze to her feet and allowed her hands to fall to where her shirt ended and her jeans began.

"I SAID WHAT WERE YOU FUCKING DOING IN HERE?" He screamed.

She was still staring at her feet when he lifted his hands and shoved her, his hands colliding with her shoulders so that she stumbled slightly back on her feet, but didn't fall.

She heard a chuckle fall from his lips as she stumbled back into the kitchen more, completely trapped by him now.

"You ever gonna answer me, bitch? I want to know why you weren't fucking out here with me and handing me another beer… huh?" He grabbed her by her face, his fingers pressed flat against her cheeks. Tell me what was so worth your time..."

She felt a shuddered breath leave her lips and ran her hands over her sides, trying to keep herself calm as he held her face. She didn't want to give him a reason to slap her, so she told him the truth. "I was just thinking..." she mumbled.

"What?" he snarled. "I can't hear you..."

"I said I thinking. I was thinking about something and got caught up for a minute, Toby..." the explanation rushed from her lips as she looked up in time to meet the fury in his eyes.

"You were thinking? Thinking about what? We're thinking about leaving me?" He snarled with a throaty chuckle.

"No," she whimpered. She thought about leaving all the time, but she knew that would never solve anything. "Why would I ever leave you?"

He'd never let her divorce him. Not while he was still breathing. He wanted every bit of control over her that he could possibly have.

"Do you think your thoughts are more important than getting me another beer?" He took a step forward, his hands out to grab her if she tried to move past him.

Katie tried to take a step back so that there was a bit of space between them but her back came up against the counter. She was trapped with nowhere to go. "Toby, I'm sorry." She whispered.

He reached forward and grabbed for her biceps, allowing his fingers to dig into her arm. "Are you?" He shook forcefully shook her. "Are you fucking sorry now, Katie?"

Her lip trembled as she tried to raise her head to meet his gaze once again. She had nothing to say to him, knowing that no matter what she said, it would only anger him more.

She thought about warning him, telling him that their neighbors here in Grandview weren't like the ones in New York. They wouldn't just ignore their screaming like the others before usually did. This time someone would call the police about their screaming. Well, Toby's screaming.

"You're supposed to bring me my fucking beer before the next decade! That's what a wife does!" He screamed and grip on her increased as she continued to stay silent against his verbal assault. "You fucking bitch," he roared as he slammed her body against the opposing kitchen counters. Her head fell back on reflex and slammed against the wood cabinet with an incredible clunk.

He stalked off when she hit the cabinet and she winced when she heard him stomp away, before slamming the door to the bedroom. She tried to slowly slide down the wall to meet the floor and winced the entire time as she did so. She clenched her eyes shut when her butt met the floor as tears piqued in the corner of her eyes. She gasped quietly as she slowly brought her legs into her chest, wincing at the pain that radiated in her arms from where he grabbed her.

She bit her lip as the tears began to cascade down her cheeks. She bit down when she heard a knock at the front door and the bedroom door swung open. She tried to pull her legs closer and tried to keep her whimpering to a minimum.

Toby hated when she cried. It usually ended with him 'slapping that stupid look off her face' is what he always said. He stalked towards her and as she ducked, she immediately regretted it. He grabbed her by the arms in much the same fashion as he had before and picked her up just to slam her against the wall once more.

"Did you call the fucking cops?" He yelled.

She whimpered loudly as her back hit the wall once more, which in turn, caused him to smirk. She didn't anticipate the hit that came next; his elbow collided with her stomach hard enough that he knocked the wind out of her.

"DID YOU CALL THE COPS?" He screamed in her face, spitting at her.

"No," she whimpered.

The smirk widened on his lips as he dropped her back to the ground. "Good, don't you say a fucking thing to them or you're dead." He said before he turned around and stomped to the front door as there was another knock. "What do you people want?" Toby yelled.

"Hello sir, I'm Officer Ned Banks and I'm responding to a dispatch call that said there was a domestic dispute a little out of hand taking place here. I just wanted to check in." The man's voice was deep, calm, and reminded her of how her father's voice sounded. "Is there anyone else still here with you, sir?"

"Just my wife," Toby grumbled.

"And where is she?" Another police officer asked.

Katie felt tears pique her eyes once more as the aftershock of what had just happened rippled through the wall. She winced as she slowly tried to move off the floor. The ache in her back was instant and she felt the tears start to cascade down her cheeks as she shuffled her feet along the floor.

She reached for the kitchen counter and locked it securely in her grip, using the sturdiness to pull herself up. She turned on her heel slowly and started what felt like the longest walk ever to the bathroom. Her head throbbed from where he slammed her against the cabinet, and her arms felt like jelly and not the good kind. As she tried to quietly make it to the bathroom she could hear soft murmuring coming from the front hallway.

Would the police come inside to talk to her? Or would she be forced to go to the door?

She continued to shuffle towards the bathroom, knowing she should clean herself up a bit. Toby never liked a messy wife, or so he called it. She always had to look her best, even if he was constantly ruining that.

Her reflection in the mirror causes her to let out another few tears. Her eyes were red and swollen from the tears she had already let slip. She moved her arms slowly one by one into the mirror and she cried as she ran her finger over the spots that were already starting to bruise on her skin. She moved from her arms to her stomach and gently ran her own fingers over the tender spot where Toby had elbowed her.

She raised the shirt to look at the spot and winced when her fingers touched the tender skin. She bit her lip so she didn't sob again, but everything hurt and it was so hard in moments like this to be strong. She moved to grab her concealer, one of her best friends for the last few years and tried her best to clean up before she slid into the front hallway.

"Katie?" Toby called out, turning just in time to see her pop her head around the corner. His mouth turned up in a smile. "Why don't you tell these fine policeman that our little fight was just silliness. We're fine, right babe?"

She wanted to cry when walking made every limb feel like it was on fire. She tried to put on a smile, her eyes going to meet the officer she'd first heard speak. Wasn't it Ned Banks?

"It would be best if my partner and I could speak to you both separately. Could we maybe step in for a moment?" Ned asked, his eyes searching hers as if they would answer all of his questions.

She looked away, glancing to where Toby's arm was tightly clasped around her waist. It was almost like he couldn't love her without having to force it anymore.

* * *

When Katie and Toby had let the officers in, they separated them. Out of comfort, she'd gone toward the living room.

Ned had followed behind slowly. "Mrs, um... "

"It's Saunders, but you can call me Katie," she whispered, turning to look over at him as she sat on the couch carefully.

"Katie, it's okay if you don't want to talk. I know how hard these situations can be sometimes, but I just want to know the truth of what happened tonight. I want to make sure you're safe here, are you?" Officer Ned Banks moved to sit beside her, clearing his throat as he did so.

She nodded slowly, no words coming forward. She had always been told to tell the truth, even if it was hard when she was little. How could she turn back on that now when she could get herself killed?

"Katie," Ned's hand touched hers slightly and she flinched, dragging it away.

"Don't touch me," she stood up from the couch quickly, despite her stomach and back aching and burning as she did so. "I'm fine. It was just a disagreement between my husband and I over my choice for dinner."

"Was that what it was about this time?" Ned asked, glancing up at her. He watched as she fidgeted with her hands, her eyes glancing back at him every so often. "You're safe to talk to me. I won't tell your husband anything."

She sighed. "Nothing happened," she muttered.

She felt weak, beyond help at this point. She was too afraid of never being loved again.

Who could love her after what Toby had done to her? After how accustomed she was to be treated like this? How could she ever tell another man that she'd put up with him for so long?

"Is there someone I can call for you?" Ned stood up, stepping toward where she was.

She glanced over at him this time. That wasn't a bad idea. Maybe she could call her father or mother. They would definitely be over here in an instant and Toby would never dare lay a hand on her with them around, but how could she? How could she ever tell them about what she let him do to her?

"No there isn't anyone for you to call, Officer-um Banks, is it?" she whispered and walked further away from him. She went back toward the front door this time, glancing out on the street. "I don't want them to see me like this. Can you just leave my husband and I alone? I'm fine."

Even if the cops didn't call her parents, they would hear about this by tomorrow afternoon. Small towns made it hard to keep secrets. Usually.

"If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call," Ned said, walking across the room towards her. "This is my card." He glanced over at Toby as he and his partner came toward them. "And I mean anything, Mrs. Saunders."

She stood up straightened as Toby came near her, a smirk on his face as he pressed a kiss to her cheek and wrapped his arm around her, but it was anything from lovely.

"Thanks for taking a tour of the new house. Hope you liked the shitty decorating more than I do," Toby said as he ushered the policeman out of their foyer.

"I think…" Ned's voice was strained as he glanced around the room before back at her. He was studying her again like he'd find all his answers in doing so. "It's a nice house."

"No one asked you," Toby slammed the door in his face and then turned to grab the card out of her hand and rip it up. "If I ever see you call that man you know what will happen, slut."

* * *

The next day, Katie found herself up and about, despite last night's events, and was trying to stay out of the house. She headed straight to her mother's antique shop because she knew that if her mother had anything for her to do, she would be put to work.

When she walked inside the shop, she was basked in the smell of her mother's lavender perfume and smiled when she heard her mother's laughter in the backroom of the store. It was so good to be home.

"Hello! Just a moment," called Andrea, her godmother and mother's best friend as she came from the backroom. "Oh, it's Katie!"

As she hugged Andera, she felt a slight warmth spread through her. Katie knew that coming here would be a good idea. After a long first week of unpacking boxes and trying to get back into a routine, she had been looking forward to spending a quiet weekend day with her mother and Andrea from the moment she opened her eyes today.

The mood at her house was indicative of anything but the peaceful day she had wished for. Toby was in a mood and had been mumbling obscenities that she didn't dare listen to. She had tried to brighten the mood by making a bigger breakfast than she usually did, but had turned her down grabbing the cup of coffee she had made for herself and claiming the couch with a grunt.

Toby called that job searching.

Things had been on edge for the last few days, but after last night, it was like the air between them had grown thicker. She would be lying if she said she wasn't used to this, couldn't see or feel the signs of another oncoming explosion. She did her best every day to keep things smooth, but when moments like the ones this morning occurred, she felt like she was dodging minefields across the floor.

So days like today, she got out. She always tried to find something to do and leave.

"It's so good to see you," she said, smiling at Andrea as she pulled back.

"Oh good, Katie, you're here early. C'mere I want to talk to you quick babe." Her mother appeared around the waving her into the back room.

"We'll catch up later, okay?" Andrea said, smiling at her as she walked over to counter.

She nodded and slipped into the backroom, glancing around at the new items her mom had set around in various places. The second the back doors were closed, she knew what this was about. Someone had told her about the police visit last night.

"What's up, mom?" She asked, going to lean on her desk slightly. She tried her best not to wince as her backside ached, but it was inevitable. She had been tossed around like a rag doll in her own home last night.

"Nothing, just a little more worried than I probably should be," Melinda said, walking toward her. "I heard the police dropped by your house last night from your father, did something happen?"

"Oh, that." She sighed, biting her tongue from saying anything. Everything in her told her just to tell her mother everything and she would believe her, but would she? Would she believe that for the five years she'd lied to her about almost everything? "It was no big deal." She shrugged, trying to laugh it off the best she could. "Toby is still high strung from living in the city. He thought a possum was a burglar like a dad did that one time."

"Oh, that was funny." Melinda laughed, coming over to hug her. "It's so good to see you. I'm so excited to be able to see you more."

"Me too, mom." She said, rubbing her back. "Now do you need me to reorganize your files again?"

"Ugh, yes." Melinda pulled back and touched her face before walking around her desk. "They are a total mess. I'm so happy you're back."

* * *

When she was leaving her mother's shop a little after five, Toby had texted her about wanting tacos for dinner and even though she wasn't in the mood to do anything he wanted. Instead of angering him, she stopped by the store and got some groceries.

She stood in the kitchen cutting tomatoes while she waited for the ground beef to finish browning. The only good thing about this right now was that Toby wasn't home. She hummed a song under her breath as she continued to chop the last tomato before she slid them into a bowl. She finally finished with the vegetables and moved to grab the cheese from the fridge.

She froze when she heard the front door open and the telltale the steps that followed told her that her husband was home. She tensed as she stood in front of the fridge, holding on to the door of the fridge as she grabbed the cheese and waited to see where he was headed.

She was always on high alert after a fight, hell she was on high alert most of the time when he was around her. She tried to preoccupy herself with searching for the cheese grater and taking the meat off the burner as she looked out for his inevitable appearance.

She tensed as she listened to him shuffling out in the foyer and tried to fight against the impulse she had to run out and meet him, but it was taking all of her strength. She tried not to over please him. He hated that more than anything.

She relaxed, only slightly when footsteps start to move again and relaxed even more when she could hear him coming closer to her. His footsteps weren't hurried or clumsy; years of dealing with and sidestepping around his moods have taught her that the speed of his feet were true telltale signs that things might be alright. At least for now.

She bit her lip when she felt him kiss her cheek and tried not to flinch when she felt his arms wrap around her waist. She closed her eyes and tried not to speak for a moment. She tried to just be in the moment with him.

She opened her eyes after a few minutes she looked down to find a small bouquet of brightly colored roses pressed against her abdomen. At one time she loved flowers. She supposed she could again, but anything but the cheap roses Toby always got her from a gas station. Roses meant an apology. They're his go to when he needed to apologize; whether it was yelling at her, hurting her, or making her ultimately feel like shit.

She had received a huge bouquet from him the day after he'd first hit her and gave her a black had been the first time she never truly appreciated a bouquet of flowers. She'd always loved them before, even if the only person who'd ever gotten her one was her dad.

She took hold of the small bouquet and brought them up to her nose. Katie closed her eyes as she inhaled the aroma of the fresh flowers. She always accepted them, because it was nice sometimes to pretend that even for a minute he still even loved her and was even sorry.

She opened her eyes when she was finished and turned around in his arms, abandoning the cheese for a minute. "Thank you for the flowers," she whispered quietly as she tentatively looked up at him.

He gave her a smile before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. His lips lingered on hers and she closed her eyes, trying to enjoy it before he pulled away. She slowly opened them when he moved his hands up and down her arms.

"I'm sorry for yesterday. For saying I would hurt you if you told the cops about what happened," he sighed as his hands reached hers and he tugged one free, bringing it up to his mouth to give her fingers a gentle kiss. "I just wish you didn't make me so mad, yeah?" He gave her another grin before pecking her cheek.

She untangled herself from his arms and turned around to find a vase for the flowers and not just throw them in the trash. She hated roses.

* * *

Katie stood in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror. She sighed as she ran her fingertips lightly over her stomach, tracing the mark from where Toby had elbowed her. The spot was purple and tender to the touch, just like the one that was one her back from when he shoved her to the floor. She blew a breath between her lips as she stared at herself, the bruises on her arms catching her attention again.

Who had she become? Why was she hiding this for him? How could she still love him?

She was reminded as she stood there, of the other time he had left bruises on her skin. She was so lost in her thoughts, her fingers running along the band of the bra she wore to trailed to where she had a scar from a cigarette burn that was under her band.

She didn't hear the door to the bathroom creaked open and Toby slipped inside. Her breath caught when he appeared in the mirror and approached her, winding his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. She stood frozen as his fingertips danced on the exposed part of her stomach.

She felt her stance tense against his touch. She hated when he touched her like that. He brought one of his hands up and gently brush away her hair from her back and swept it over her left shoulder. She felt his hot breath on her neck and she closed her eyes as she felt his lips press the crook of her neck.

"Why are you so quiet tonight babe?" He whispered as he dragged his lips lazily up her neck.

She could feel the trail his lips were leaving on her skin and she closed her eyes against the sensation It was almost kind of good. His hands pulled her closer by the hips as he continued to lave at her skin for a few minutes.

"Cat got your tongue?" he chuckled as his hands grabbed her hips.

"I'm just tired, Toby," she sighed as his fingers delved under the elastic of the floral pajama pants she was wearing. "Not tonight…"

She exhaled when she felt his touch move upwards a slightly when his fingers grazed over the spot where he had elbowed her. Was he really trying this anyway?

"I'm so sorry baby," he whispered into her neck. She was quiet as his fingers circled the area that was still tender to the touch. His fingers glided up her arm down and moved it just high enough so he could reach the bruises from where his fingers were on her arm. "I'm so sorry." He repeated the action with her other arm before gently placing them on both her sides of her face. "I got you another present. Maybe it will change your mind."

"I don't know," she shrugged, a small smile coming to her face when the look on his face reminded her of how he'd looked at her when they'd first met. Maybe he was really sorry this time. "Maybe… go get it."

He walked over to a wrapped box that's over by the door. She inwardly cringed, Toby was terrible at picking out lingerie for her. She opened it and pull out a sheer, tiny, red, barely there, nightgown.

She smiled up at him, but on the inside, she had never felt so dirty in her life. She didn't want to wear this for him. "I want you to wear it to bed tonight," he told her, and she knew by his tone he was serious.

She nodded, "I will. It's beautiful, go wait on the bed."

"Thank you," he whispered as he tentatively bit down at the juncture between her neck and shoulder before gently soothing the mark with his tongue. "I love you."

She quickly threw on the nightgown Toby had gotten her and even added a red lipstick. She knew he would like it. Red was his favorite color.

Slowly she walked into the bedroom and watched him walk toward her. Numbly, she let him pick her up and lay her down on their bed. She moved her eyes to the ceiling when she caught sight of how he was looking at her from the foot of the bed as he dropped his jeans and boxers to the ground. She inhaled sharply as he climbed onto the bed beside her and he tentatively reached over and pushed her hair back from her face.

She swallowed hard when his hands roamed over her face. She gave him a slow nod as she took her bottom lip between her teeth as he settled his body above her. He swiped his thumb across her forehead to catch the few strands that had fallen back in her face. "My girl," he grinned as he leaned down and pressed quick, insistent kisses all over her face. "You're so beautiful, Katie.

His voice was full of lust as his hands started to over the exposed skin he could touch. She closed her eyes as he touched her and inhaled quickly when his lips descended on hers. She moaned as he touched her intimately, and she could feel the smile that curled upon his lips and his arousal rising between her legs.

The moment he entered her, she felt her back arch and her hands immediately went to his back. She gasped as he thrust into her suddenly, his speed building. She tightened her legs around him as he started to piston his hips faster and faster, and his head buried in the side of her neck. His hot breath caused the skin of her neck to flush.

Her breath came in short bursts as he started to grunt and moved his hands and mouths to her breasts as she arched into him. Maybe this could finally be enough. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had an orgasm because of Toby, let alone while they were actually having sex.

"Are you close?" he grunted as squeezed her breast a little too hard. She clenched her eyes closed and tried to concentrate. "I'm so close..." he gasped.

"Almost," she whispered as she tightened her legs around him moving her hand to wind around his arms and tried to touch herself to get herself there.

But it all ended quickly as Toby grunted one last time and collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily into her neck as he tried to calm his racing heart. Katie let her arms go slack around him and blew out a breath herself as she waited for him to move. She sighed quietly as he rolled off of her. She went to roll over onto her side, but his hand on her arm caused her to freeze.

"That was so good, baby. I've missed you," he grinned as he leaned over and kissed her shoulder. "We finally had some fun in the house…"

She laid still and her eyes were fixed on the spot he kissed her, right below where the cigarette burn was. He didn't seem to notice how quiet she had become. Not that he ever cared.

When he finally rolled over onto his side, she took that as her moment to slide off the bed and give her enough time to stand up before could.

"Where are you going?" He sat up in bed as she started to slide her robe over her shoulders. He sent her a grin and patted the space on the mattress beside her. "Wanna go for round two?" He winked.

"I'm just going to get something to drink quick," she gave him a gentle smile as she pulled the tie of her robe closed and headed for the door.

She hadn't expected him to meet her there, his arms around her waist. "Hey, can we talk quick?"

"About what?" She asked, her eyes slowly rising to meet his. What could be so important that he got out of bed, naked, to ask her this?

"I know the last time we talked about this I said I didn't want to have any… but I've been thinking since we moved here. With your family so close, what if we finally had a baby?" He asked, his eyes light and dreamy enough to almost fool her.

If he had said this to her when they'd first got married, she would've been head over heels and probably would have a two with him already, but he hadn't. He'd told her he never wanted to have children because they ruined relationships and she would never look hot to him again. So she didn't even react.

She would never have children with him. Never in a million years.

"Maybe," she whispered. "Let me think about it?"

"What's there to think about? You begged me to have a baby when we got married, what happened?" He rose his voice, pushing her to sit back down on the bed. "Don't you love me enough?"

She sat there, staring at her feet. She didn't know what love was anymore. "Of course, I love you." She said out of instinct than out of feeling. She didn't want him to get mad tonight. Not again. "Maybe I can get us an appointment at the hospital, see when I'm ovulating."

"Good," he grabbed her jaw and then brought his hand her flat stomach. "Because we're gonna have a baby, Katie… isn't that amazing?"

Instead of feeling happy or even excited, she felt like she wanted to throw up. Why had she let him get in her head? Why had she given in?

"Yeah," she said softly, leaning into his lips as he kissed her neck.

She closed her eyes tight as she began to cry as silently as she could. She felt dirty, used, unworthy. It had made her feel good for a moment when he called her beautiful, even when he'd brought up having children because she did want them someday. She just could never see them having children, not when he could hurt her so easily. What would he do when their child had a meltdown in the grocery store or was sick? Would he hurt them too?

She would never put a child through that, let alone her own. That was the last thing she wanted.

* * *

Two days later, she could still hear her ears ringing from how loud Toby was yelling, even with the door closed.

"YOU OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR KATIE," Toby screamed from the other side. The door shook and rattled as she blurringly looked at herself in the mirror.

Tears flowed steadily and she couldn't catch her breath as she looked at herself. Her hair was sticking up in certain places, her eyes were bloodshot from crying and her lip was busted from him slapping her too many times. There was a cut bleeding on her forearm from when he had shoved her up against the wall and her hand collided with a picture frame.

"IM GONNA BREAK IT DOWN," Toby's voice echoed in the hallway as he pounded on the bathroom door until eventually, she heard a slam as his body rammed up against it. The wood around it cracked. He would be in here in no time.

There was another slam and the door was open, pushed through the frame and Toby was standing there, sweating, seething with anger and was focused on her.

"How dare you," he screamed, grabbing her by her arm. "How dare you lie to me. Did you think I wouldn't check the deleted messages? The doctor said we're good to go to have a baby, why did you say we weren't?"

He shoved her up against the bed when she began to try and walk away from him again, but this time he had her pinned even as she struggled against the way he had gripped her. His hands traveled toward her neck and at that moment she could truly feel panic start to set in.

She started to hyperventilate because at that moment she was positive he was going to choke her. He was going to kill her.

She could feel her body tremble as she stared at him, desperate racing breaths as his eyes burned into hers with an intent she couldn't quite distinguish. For the first time since the abuse started, she was truly scared for her life. The malice and intent in his eyes were enough to snap her into focus. She started to panic as his hands seemed to grip more firmly around her neck as he continued to scream at her

She could feel her blood pumping and the panic rise in every inch of her body. She didn't want to move or twitch because she felt moved just the smallest of ways he would tighten the already firm grasp he had. She had to get him to let go, she could feel his thumb pressing firmly into the base and all at once her fight or flight instincts finally kicked in.

She tried as hard as she could to kick him or move out from under him, but when that didn't work she collected as much saliva as she could in her mouth, and just as he gave her a burning smirk and moved to unhook his belt from his jeans, she launched it at him.

She immediately regretted the action the split second after it happened. They stared at each other, his eyes were burning heat as they widened at the realization of what she had just done sunk it. He dropped his hands from her throat and she immediately gulped for breath as she tried to take as much air as her body would allow.

His hands had only been around her neck for a mere thirty seconds, but to her, it felt like it had been an eternity. But the fire in his eyes never left even in the time it took her to take one more breath, Toby pulled back his right fist and punched her directly in the face.

She didn't move her face at first. She didn't even move her arms up to protect herself. The impact of his fist had left her left cheek flat against the bed. At first, all she could do was breathe; breathe because the pain radiating from her eye where his fist had made an impact was almost too much to bear. She wanted nothing more in that moment but to cry, but she knew that even if she let out a whimper that he would hurt her more.

Toby let her go moments later. Her face was still pressed against the bed, too afraid to move even the slightest inch. She clenched her eyes closed for a brief momentarily and winced silently as the pain in her right eye throbbed. Katie opened them slowly at the sound of Toby stumbling over his feet. His eyes were almost black as he pointed a finger directly at her. "You made me do this!" he screamed. "You made me do this you fucking bitch! I hate you."

She couldn't even get herself to blink, to flinch at his words. All she could think about was the pain in her eye, and what he could possibly want to do to her next. She watched him with bated breath as he stumbled over his feet once more and hurried for the door.

She clenched her hands as the door rattled behind him as it slammed closed and the house was bathed in silence. When the rattling of the door settled and Katie finally allowed herself to release the sob she had desperately been holding in from the moment his hands wrapped around her neck.

Her head was pounding and she felt like she was honestly going to throw up, but she wasn't sure from what. The pain in her eye was almost a match that was radiating from her heart to her other extremities at the moment and she just wished at that moment that she could turn back time.

But instead of sitting there and waiting until he came back with another apology, this time she called her sister.

She hadn't told her much besides that she needed Mackenzie to bring over her medical bag without asking any questions or telling their parents, the blonde had agreed and said she would be there in less than twenty minutes.

When Mack had knocked at the door, she'd made sure it was her from the living room window before she'd let her in.

"Why did you need me over here so fast? I was kind of on a date with Scott," the twenty-two-year-old sighed.

Katie sighed and slowly turned to let her sister see her face and arm. "I need you to help me."

"Oh my God, Katie," Mack dropped her bag and touched her eye and then saw the blood dripping down her arm. "Who did this to you? Where's Toby?"

Katie couldn't find the words. How could she tell the police if she couldn't even tell her little sister this?

As her lip trembled and her eyes welled up with tears as she thought about every single time Toby had ever hurt her and how she'd always kept it a secret for him.

"Did he do this to you?" Mackenzie whispered and grabbed her bag. "You can tell me. I can help you."

She nodded slowly took in a deep breath. "He's been doing this since we got engaged. I just kept making excuses for him, but lately, he's started to talk about wanting kids..." She looked over at her sister, who'd begun to clean up her arm. "I was going to do everything in my power not to get pregnant and he found out."

"You have to leave him," Mackenzie sighed, squeezing her hand.

"It's not that easy. He'll never let me divorce him," she shook her head and rubbed her forehead. "He's a narcissist."

"Fuck. Toby," Mackenzie groaned. "Go tell dad and he'll kill him."

"I can't tell dad," she whimpered, feeling more tears roll down her face. "I can't tell anyone."

"I think he and mom already have a hunch," Mackenzie sighed. "They notice how quiet and withdrawn you are at family dinners. How you do everything to make sure Toby doesn't have anything to complain about."

"What?" She asked.

"They've been all weirded out since the cops came by. It's been a non-stop topic whenever mom talks to me. She's extra worried… ever since she saw some dark marks on your arm the other day. She didn't say anything to you, but she saw them..." Mackenzie explained. "She just didn't want to make you feel pressured."

She nodded slowly and sighed. "It's happened a few times since we got here. He was trying to play a part at first, but he can't ever do that for long."

Mackenzie nodded and slowly began to bandage up her arm as there was another loud knock at the front door. "I swear to God," her sister stood up and yanked the door open. "If it's- oh, Katie, it's the police."

Katie slowly stood from where she and Mack had sat down on the living room couch, peeking around the door to see Officer Ned Banks standing there but without his partner this time.

"Hi," she whispered, gulping as she stepped toward the doorway. "You came alone this time."

"I thought you'd feel more comfortable," Ned said softly. "May I come in?"

She nodded slowly, her eyes darting to his shoes. They were nice, black leather ones. The kind her dad wore with the suits he wore to hospital board meetings and dinners at the steakhouse.

"Are you ready to tell me?" He asked, stopping just a foot in front of her.

She rose to meet his green eyes, feeling calmer in his presence and nodded. "I am," she whispered.

* * *

As Ned made his way toward the door, Katie followed him. "So you're sure you have a place you can go?"

"Yeah. I do. Toby won't dare come to parent's house once they know what he's done," Katie said, following him to the door. "Thank you for listening, Ned. For writing a report and going to look for him."

"Of course. I'll follow up as soon as I can," he nodded, going to check his pockets. "I know I gave you one before, but just in case." He pulled out his card. "I wrote my personal number on the back. Call if you ever need anything. If you ever feel threatened or scared by your husband. I will come. I promise."

"Thank you," she said, taking it slowly. "He ripped it up before."

Ned nodded. "I'll be in touch for f I need you to come down to the station again or if we find your husband. I hope you can find some peace."

"I'll try," she said, reaching out to grab hold of his hand. It was out of her comfort zone, but she felt comfortable enough with him for some reason. They were bigger than hers and rough around his fingertips, but she liked the feel against her hand. It was different from Toby's smooth moisturized ones. "Hey, I just wanted to say… thank you." She gulped as he turned around, a smile turning up on his lips as he shook her head. "No, really… I don't know if I would've been able to call my sister tonight if you hadn't pushed so hard before. I probably let it slide again until he killed me."

"Well," he stepped closer to her and took hold of her other hand as she had with him. His clipboard was underneath his arm and he leaned down just slightly to look at her directly. "I'm really glad you called your sister and told me everything when I came. I can help put Toby in jail now."

"Yeah, me too." She said, nodding, feeling more tears escape and burn as they ran through the tender skin and cuts around her face and lip. "I should go pack some clothes before he comes back."

"I can stay and keep an eye on you. That way you could come in and file the report in person tonight. Then I can get an arrest warrant for your husband, Toby," Ned explained, looking over the yard and around the neighborhood. "All I have to do is let me captain know about your complaint if that's what you want me to do."

"That would help," she nodded. "Make me feel safer. Thank you, really."

"Anything to make sure you feel safe. A husband should never hurt his wife." He shook his head and then dropped his gaze to his feet as he walked off the porch. There are disagreements, but this… violence is grotesque."

"I agree," she sighed. "And I used to think how can a woman stay with a man who'd hurt her, but when it's the man you love… the man who believed who never hurt you… it's the hardest thing in the world. I just wish I could've seen this sooner and gotten out while I could've."

"What matters is you're getting out now and that you're alive, Katie." Ned reminded her. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure your husband pays for what he's done to you."

"You're right and thank you, but I really need to go pack."

"Already done," Mackenzie came down with two duffle bags. "I packed everything I thought was cute and comfy and everything else I thought you'd need like your laptop, journal, bible, usual Katie things. I know you. Trust me."

Katie nodded and engulfed her younger sister in a hug. "I know. Thank you for coming tonight." She felt her entire body ache and burn from the bruises and cut on her forearm. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now let's get to mom and dad's before they hear about the police visit again and talk to them," Mackenzie said, rubbing her back.

"You're right. Let's go rip the bandaid off," she said, turning around with one of her bags in hand while Mack had the other one. "And you'll make sure Toby can't get near me?"

"Yes, of course. I'm going to be right here, surveillancing, from my car tonight. I already texted my captain and will call him in a few minutes to bring him to speed, alright?" Ned said, following them to Mackenzie's car that was parked on the street. "Drive carefully."

"You two," she said, watching as Ned walked over to his car.

She hated that she liked how good he looked in his uniform. How she'd noticed his shirt was tight against his chest from his muscles underneath. How she'd gotten lost in his the color of his eyes.

She was still a married woman. A battered married woman at that.

How could she be thinking about Ned like that?

Katie slowly opened the car door and down into the seat, her body aching as she tried to get comfortable and buckle in.

She still couldn't get Ned out her head. He'd been so calm, so reassuring when she'd told him about everything Toby had ever done to her the last five years. He was the first person she'd ever told more than a few hinting sentences, besides when she'd called her sister tonight.

"You kind of like that cop, don't you?" Mackenzie said almost the second after she had got settled in her seat.

"Do not," she replied immediately like they were children again.

"You do too. You just confirmed it, Katie," Mackenzie laughed, turning her car on. "You have that same look that you did when you told me you kissed Lucas Trisk in fifth grade."

"Stop it. I'm already messed up enough. Don't confirm what's already going in my head about the cop, Mack. Not right now," she sighed. "I'm not in the mood when I have to go repeat everything I just told Ned to our parents. Just drive."

Mackenzie nodded and put her car in park, pulling off and onto the street. She eventually came to hold her hand, squeezing it as a moment of reassuring to her. "I'm glad I was the one you could call. Even if it took you as long as it did." Mackenzie said softly. "I'm just glad you called me, and I know mom and dad aren't going to judge you."

"I know, I just don't know how I'm going to tell them how I married a man who burned me with cigarettes and stayed with him until he nearly choked me and punched me in the face." She sighed, squeezing her hand once more.

"They'll understand. Do you want me to ask them to meet us at the station?" Mackenzie asked.

Katie took in a deep breath and nodded. She was ready to get this over with and get Toby out of her life for good.

* * *

Katie wanted out of this stupid room. She was tired of looking at the same four walls, flipping between the same pages of the magazine's someone had brought. It was hard to raise her hand to flip the pages with the cut on her arm and the longer stayed in a chair, the more the ache in her hips rose from sitting in one place so long.

It had been two hours since anyone had come into the room was in and she was going to stir crazy, her emotions were at a boiling point and she just felt like she wanted to cry all the time. She leaned her head back on the wall as she tossed the magazine she had been trying to look at across the room in utter frustration, her eyes clenching as tears started to rise.

She was alone, her parents hadn't arrived at the station even though Mackenzie had called them. Were they outside? Did they even know she was in here?

Katie felt restless and unable to just sit there any longer. The more she sat, the more she just stared at the wall, the more her emotions got the best of her because she couldn't focus on the pain. Her pain had been a distraction and now all that was left in its place was a feeling of frustration, of disappointment in herself, and most of all she felt anger.

The tears piqued at that moment as the anger bubbled up further. She was angry about a lot of things, but she was mostly mad at herself. She felt so stupid about all of this - how she had let everything get this far. She had let him hurt her - in more way one. She clenched her eyes closed tightly, her frustration and devastation over the entire situation got the best of her. She raised both her hands and groaned when she felt the wrapping around her cut rub against it the wrong way.

She screamed in frustration and growled as she threw down her hands down against the table, growling in the wave of dull pain that rolled through her. Her thoughts were interrupted when a knock tapped out on the door. She tossed her head back in frustration and squeezed her eyes tightly together in a wave of remorse, at the of pain the action caused

She stumbled over her words, trying to usher whoever was on the other side in. She figured it was her parents, but when the two uniformed officers hat she didn't recognize, she sat up more in her chair despite the ache in her hips, burning in her back and the throb in the back of her head. "Miss Clancy, we're hoping this is a good time," Officer Horan, at least according to her name pin, started carefully as her and Officer Duncan took steps towards her.

"Now is as good a time as any," she mumbled as she adjusted herself once more on the chair. "What took so long?" She grimaced at the ache it left.

Both of the officers came closer, and as Officer Horan shuffled the file she was carrying, Katie began to grow nervous. She tried to sit up a little straighter and clenched her hand, before using her fingers to play with the ends of her hair.

"Miss Clancy," Officer Horan began. "How are you feeling?"

She sighed as she tangled her fingers around the ends of her hair. She hated that question. "I'm okay," she said quietly. "Where's Officer Banks? I thought he was the one handling my case."

She watched as the two officers passed a look between them that she couldn't read, and she waited for what they were about to say next.

"Officer Banks stepped out for a moment," Officer Duncan cleared his throat as he moved around in his seat. "He is the lead on your case, but he's trusted us. Would you like to wait for him?"

"No, it's fine." She shook her head.

"Alright, we've made an arrest in your case, and we would like to discuss your options going forward with you," Officer Duncan began. "As you are aware, as a result of your statement tonight we were in pursuit of a Mr. Toby Saunders. He's your husband, correct?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"And he is the same person who you indicated as the perpetrator in your assault tonight and over the course of your relationship. Correct?" Duncan paused to look up from the information he was reading.

"That's correct," she replied.

"We are able to tell you that we did locate Mr. Saunders. When we did find him, Mr. Saunders was intoxicated and at first, resisted arrest." Duncan said, glancing up from the paperwork again. "But he is currently in our custody and will be until he is formally charged and bail is set."

Katie felt a rock hit the bottom of her stomach. She felt a knot form as she listened to the words they were saying to her. She stayed quiet, trying to steer herself against what she wanted to think. She wanted to feel bad, to worry about him because there was a part of him that she still loved. But when she looked down at her arm, covered in bandages and scattered in bruises.

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, before opening her eyes once more and focusing her vision on her bandages as she tried to breathe through her feelings. He did this to himself, she tried to remember. He was the reason she was hurt like this she told herself to think. She swallowed hard and bowed her head and tried to steer herself against the emotions that were bubbling.

She clenched her eyes and thought of every screaming match, every kick, and every punch that she had endured because of him. She took one more breath and looked at the police officers that were both trying not to stare at her too intently.

It was Officer Horan who spoke next. "Do you still wish to press charges, Miss?"

She let out a shaky breath and slowly nodded her head, before speaking quietly. "Where do I sign?" She asked.

Both of the officers nodded before sliding a piece of paper in front of her. She signed her name hastily, with a shake to her hand. She blew out a breath when it was finally done.

She had done it. She took a stand. She was going to move on with her life. She was going to protect herself and forget about Toby. God, she was going to divorce him and move on. She closed her eyes to embrace the feeling of relief that flooded through her. Only she felt everything but relief. She flinched when she felt a hand touch her shoulder. She jerked her head up and saw Officer Horan staring back at her. "You're so brave, Katie," she sighed quietly. "You're doing the right thing."

She could only bite her lip and look back down at the table. She aw the file that was open, the pictures inside. They'd taken pictures of her injuries after the paperwork was filed when she'd first got here, and she cringed at the thought of how they must look. There was documented proof of every single mark on her body right now. She felt vulnerable and exposed as the camera continued to click in her head.

She breathed a sigh as the file was closed. Officer Duncan left first, while Officer Horan hung back to once again reiterate that they would be in touch with any news. And once again she was alone. Alone with her thoughts, alone with her pain, alone in the world.

She tried not to let that thought bother her. She took a deep, cleansing breath and as she blew it out she turned eyes to the ceiling and just stared for a few moments, taking in the moment of quiet of the moment. But it wasn't all quiet. Her mind raced with the information she had to receive was caught.

The cops had Toby. She was safe. But for how long?

She let out a gasp when the door to the room swung open and her mother rushed in, her face clean of any makeup from probably crying and arms wide open as Melinda engulfed her. "Oh, your face. Baby, I was so worried about you. They wouldn't tell us where you were."

Her father came in slowly next, trying harder than her mother to keep it together, and she could hear the tell-tale footsteps of probably all four of her younger siblings.

"Everyone's here." She whispered as she saw all six of them in the room.

"Of course, we are," Jim said, as she stood up from the chair and then walked over to hug him. "We aren't going anywhere."

* * *

It was six months later when Katie felt like she was finally at peace for the first time in five years. She was at Target with Lana and Emma, trying to decide what kind of cake they were going to make for their mom's birthday.

Katie had been living with her folks until Toby's trial was over. He was currently out on bond, but couldn't come within a mile radius of her. He'd even finally signed the divorce papers a couple of weeks prior. She hoped to god he wasn't that stupid, but things were good. She was laughing again, even if her nightmares hadn't stopped.

"Mom likes strawberry cake, Lan." Emma reminded her, grabbing the box.

"But almost everyone else likes vanilla," Lana said, grabbing the other flavor.

"Katie loves strawberry and so do I." Emma rolled her eyes and put it in the car.

"So that's three," Lana fished out the strawberry and put the vanilla one in.

"There are seven of us, Lana. That's almost half." Emma said, turning to her then. "What do you think?"

"I think you've been debating this for like twenty minutes." Katie laughed, walking closer to the two. "Why don't we make them both? We have a big enough family with all the boyfriends and whoever Aaron decides to bring this time."

"Good point, sis," Emma said, high-fiving her as she grabbed both cake boxes. "I guess we can have one strawberry and one vanilla."

"Now don't debate another twenty minutes on the frosting. Just get three cans of vanilla," Katie said, crossing off the two items on the list.

"Ugh, fine." Lana sighed and tossed them into the cart. "What's next?"

"Cereal aisle is next, mom said we can get three boxes and just to make sure to get dad's corn flakes. We know how much he loves those." She said, pushing the cart around the corner.

As she looked up from the list she spotted him. A familiar face that made her heart stop, even if it were only for a moment. It was Ned, the officer from the case. She hadn't seen him since the court appearance six months ago when the trial date was set, and even then he'd practically ran away from her before she had a chance to talk to him.

He probably had something better to do. Someone better to talk to than her.

"Is that the hot cop Mack was talking about?" Lana whispered as she held up a box of lucky charms. "Can we get this? I know you like marshmallows and I love it."

"Sure," she said, biting her lip as she looked over at her little sister. "And maybe. Why does it matter?"

"Because you keep staring at him," Lana giggled. "Go talk to him. It's not like you're still married. You signed the papers three weeks ago, Katie."

"Yeah, three weeks ago. Way too soon," she said, shaking her head. "I'm not gonna involve him with my drama further."

"Too later because he's looking at you," Lana said, nudging her as she waved Emma over to her. "Go talk to him. Ems and I can get a few things off the list while you do. We're not ten anymore."

"Hey, it's good to see you," Ned said, approaching her with his basket on his arm. "Are those your sisters?"

"It's good to feel safe, and that's Lana and Emma, the younger ones." She said, glancing over at them as they walked around the corner. "I'm staying with my parent's right now. How are you?"

"I should be asking you that," he said, shrugging. "But I'm good, busy with work."

"I'm sorry, I've never really been good at small talk. It's hard to want to be friendly with people sometimes." She sighed, diverting her eyes in embarrassment. She settled on looking at the cereal box logos. "It's stupid."

He reached out to hold her hands softly but firmly and dipped his head to look her in the eyes. "You never have to be sorry about anything to me. And don't you dare call yourself stupid." He said, softly, as he squeezed her hands. "It's good to see you. I'm glad I could see you happy and not scared."

As she looked into his sparkling green eyes, she could see a flicker of hope blossom, pleading with her to agree with him. She hated how easily she was already starting to like him. She didn't know anything about Ned besides his name and that he'd helped her get away from Toby.

She bit her bottom lip then nodded silently, her throat almost too thick with emotion to say anything. "Thanks to you," she said. "I don't know if I ever would've left him if it weren't for you."

His smile was brighter than the sun and he shrugged. "You were the brave one. You stood up to him finally. Pushed back," he said, winking at her. "I'm just happy I could help." He started to walk away.

She looked over at him as he walked passed her and released a breath as she smelled his cologne. It was warm, familiar, and comforting. Like a cinnamon stick being waved in front of her. "Wait," she called out. "I meant to tell you something. At the trial, I wanted to tell you that I was looking forward to a future without Toby. Without all the pain and suffering for once."

"It's good that you're thinking about the future," he smiled, his hand coming to hold hers again.

They stood there in silence for a bit after his words. "You know, even after I got married to Toby things weren't good between us. I wasn't really happy," she started softly, not know what she wanted to say for a moment. "I always knew that marrying him wasn't gonna help us or make us a happier couple. It had always been my dream to find love like my parents and to have that kind of love with him. Used to anyway."

"You don't still want that?" He asked.

"I don't think I'll ever have that. Maybe it exists once in a generation, maybe I'm just unlucky and it's not meant for me. Wanting it just leads to heartbreak." She sighed, her hands starting to shake. "I know heartbreak pretty well."

"Katie..." He said, squeezing her hand. "You never know until you try. That's what I always told my mom. She was too scared to date after my dad died."

She tried to focus on a little white spot on his t-shirt still avoiding looking up at his face but he didn't let her do that for long. She felt his warm hand on her face and he tilted it upward. His green eyes shine in the warm light captivating her. His thumb moved in small circles on her cheekbone and she leaned into his rough hand a little further.

"Don't ever give up on finding the love you're looking for Katie," he smiled at her. "And I'm sorry that I left so quickly after the court date before."

"I won't," she said, smiling back. She blinked a few times, his words hitting her like a truck and it took her a few seconds to truly comprehend what he was saying to her. She didn't know why, but she felt tears start to surface in her eyes. She quickly wiped at her eyes before the tears could fall and swallowed deeply. She felt herself blush, and sh down at the table for a moment to collect herself. "And it's fine," she whispered quietly.

"When I saw you, um," he paused, "it brought up feelings I've had. I've wanted to call you, check in on you...see how you were doing, were coping, all this time..."

"What stopped you?" she asked quietly.

"I didn't want to cross a line. I didn't know you well, and you were still coping," he sighed as he leaned forward onto the tabletop with his forearms. "Or I still don't know you very well… I want to get to know you better, Katie," he answered calmly. "If you'll let me."

She didn't know how to feel, or if she was too excited that he'd said that to her. He pushed himself back in response to her actions and rubbed the palms of his hands on his pants.

"I..." she stammered. Her hands shook slightly, and she grasped her knees for a moment to steady herself and her emotions. "Why?" she whispered as she dug her fingers into knees.

"Why not? I feel like I'm ten again by saying that I like you," he smiled softly. He searched her eyes and stepped back toward her. "Maybe we could go get dinner?"

She nodded slowly, taking in a relaxing breath. "Dinner would be nice," she said, her lips turning up into a smile. "Are you free tonight?"

"I am," he said. "Guess it's a date then."

* * *

Katie's hands shook as she tried to get dressed. Her clothing choices were limited, and at the moment nothing she owned was what she wanted. Toby used to pick out her clothes, so she'd thrown most of them out when she'd moved in.

She'd gotten a few choice pieces to wear, but hadn't felt comfortable wearing much else. She still didn't like showing the bruises that were still littered across her body. There weren't very many, but a choice few were stubborn and hadn't left around her thighs and stomach.

She stared down at the few nice dresses she had in her closet and she felt the bitterness of distaste on her tongue. Nothing felt right. She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands and inhaled deeply through her nose she looked at her closet again. "It's just dinner, it's just dinner," she repeated to herself a few times as she tried to pick between two of her prettier dresses.

They were older, from when she was a freshman in college, but she still felt like they were nice enough. It was just dinner after all. She dropped the pretty rose-colored dress beside her on the bed and bent her body so her head rested in her hands that were braced by her knees.

If she had the guts, she would cancel and tell Ned that she just wasn't ready. But the kind look in his eyes that kept flooding back to her, a memory from the talk they had in the grocery store, was what stopped her. She pulled at the hair at her hairline in frustration.

It was just dinner. She could survive through one dinner. He was probably a great guy. He'd proved that to her already. But the thought and promise of it being just that, dinner, was what terrified her.

She hadn't been on a date in so long and she shivered at the thought of the meal that was coming was actually a date. The thought of it caused her chest to tighten. Her last date had been with Toby, years ago, and it was that simultaneous thought that tightened her chest further.

She felt like she couldn't breathe for a second, and as her cell phone chimed from behind her she was jolted from the memories that felt like they were from an entire lifetime ago.

_I'm looking forward to our dinner date tonight. - Ned._

She felt herself flush. He had sent her a few messages before about where they wanted to go, and she had responded in kind and agreed on a nice restaurant to meet at. No more, nothing less. But this message made her flush with a feeling that made her hands shake.

_I'm really looking forward to it too - Katie_

There was a knock on her door a moment later and her mom appeared, a smile on her face and a piece of cake on a plate for her. "This is for you. Why aren't you downstairs?" Melinda asked.

She sighed and moved to show the dresses on her bed. "I have a date. Will you help?"

* * *

As soon as Katie walked up to the hole in the wall restaurant Ned had described to her, she immediately spotted him. She tried to keep her lips from expanding into too big of a smile as she laid her eyes on him, or her hands from sweating too much as she took a few steps to come up to him.

"Hi," she whispered, the sudden onset of nerves was surprising, even to her.

Ned turned to smile at her gently, his hands in the pockets of the khaki colored pants he was wearing. "Well, hello," he smiled softly. "You look beautiful."

She wasn't sure what to do at that moment, and she could see from the way he was looking at her that he was unsure of how to proceed as well. She was only slightly taken aback he reached for her hand and gently squeezed her fingers in between his bigger ones. He smiled softly at her and she felt her cheeks blush as she looked at their joined fingers, and in a blink, it seemed that the moment was over.

"We should go in," he encouraged. "I...I called ahead and got us a table. I hope you like it, it's not a big restaurant but the food is good and..."

She touched his elbow gently. "I'm sure it's going to be great," she smiled.

The restaurant was quaint, small and lived up to the hole in the wall description he had texted her earlier. She smiled at the setting and followed him slowly to the table in the corner of the room.

"Which side would you like?" Ned asked as the waitress left them with menus. His question startled her. Toby had never asked her that. He just usually took his seat.

"I...I don't have a preference," she whispered. He nodded slowly and waited for her to slide into the booth on the side closest to her before he took the opposite. "Do you come here often?" she asked softly as she settled into her spot.

The bench was soft and comfortable, and she ran her fingers over her dress before putting them surface.

"Often enough to know that the lasagna is better here than I have ever had in my entire life, except we'll never tell my mom that," he winked.

Katie chuckled at his words. "You've mentioned your mom a bit," she commented as she opened the menu in front of her. "Are you close?" she smiled.

Ned opened the menu in front of him as well, but placed his forearms on it and leaned towards her. "Probably more so than other mom's and sons," he smiled. "It was her and I for a really long time after my dad died, so we only had each other to lean on. I spend as much time with her as I can."

The waitress appeared and they both ordered something to drink.

"I'll have a coke," he smiled at the older woman who was serving them. "What would you like Katie?"

"I'll just have a water," she smiled.

He offered her a smile and she felt herself blush as the waitress left. A quietness settled over them as soft music filled the arm around them. She studied the red and white checkered tablecloth for a moment, allowing the simple pattern to comfort her racing thoughts and anxieties.

Ned clearing his throat broke her of the trance she had put herself in. When she looked up, she found him gazing at her in such a way that caused the blush she had been trying to keep down, resurface.

"Hi," she whispered as she covered her cheeks with her hands.

He reached forward and placed his hands on her wrists to gently tug them away. The touch, though gentle, surprising and she involuntarily flinched away. She didn't like when people outwardly touched her like that. Especially not men she wasn't fairly comfortable with.

Ned immediately pulled his hands away but didn't move them too far out of her reach. "Sorry," he whispered. He held up his hands before he put them back down. "I shouldn't have done that," he murmured.

"It's okay," she whispered softly. She moved her hands away from her face and gently touched the tops of his hands. "I just need you to be patient with me," she whispered softly.

"Of course," he smiled softly. "You lead, I'll follow."

She moved a bit in her seat, trying to shake off the uncomfortable moment. She pulled her hands to herself and twisted them together. "So aside from the lasagna, what is your favorite dish here?" she asked softly as she turned her attention to the menu in front of her. "The three-cheese chicken penne is really good. I think that's what I'm going to get tonight, now that I think about it..." he smiled.

"Then I must try the lasagna that you raved about," she smiled. "I can't remember the last time I made one," she sighed as she closed her menu. "I do have a particular recipe for a sauce from my mom that I think it delicious," she smirked. "So we'll have to see how this one lives up to it."

Ned smiled. "I'm intrigued about this sauce," he smiled.

She took a deep breath and decided then and there to live a little. "Maybe I'll make it for you one day," she said.

Ned's smile widened a bit and he leaned forward so he could see her better. "I would really like that."

"Me too." She said.

* * *

After dinner, Ned walked Katie to her car. She'd had a great time. They'd talked about their families in grave detail and about things they liked. Ned had made her laugh so hard at some of his jokes that she'd snorted, something she didn't like to do in public if she could try.

They'd even made plans for another date later in the week. She was excited just thinking about it.

"I had a good time," she whispered as she stepped toward her car.

"I'm glad, I did too." He said, reaching out for her hand and gently tugged him to her. "I'm in this Katie," he sighed into her hair as he pulled her in for a hug.

She smiled gently as she hugged him to her in return, taking the moment to just revel in how safe he made her feel. She blinked her eyes slowly and just allowed herself to take in the hug with no other thoughts or worries.

Katie released a shuttered breath when they finally pulled apart.

"I should get going now though," he whispered as he pushed her hair behind her ear. He gently let his fingers graze the shell of her ear before he let his arm fall to the side of her. "I really want to kiss you. Is that okay?"

She couldn't remember the last time she'd kissed another man and slowly nodded. "Yes," she smiled, and she felt her hands sweat. No one had ever asked her before they'd kissed her before. Especially not Toby.

He smiled again at her slowly. His smile was easily becoming one of her favorite things, that made her feel warm and light and just...safe.

His lips brushed her, softly, delicately, like butterfly wings, just long enough that he could inhale her breath, feel the warmth of her skin, and the taste of her lipstick lingered far after she had gone. The kiss was sweet and soft and reminded her that no matter what she had been through, there was still that spark buried somewhere inside her.

She could love again, and Ned might be that guy this time. It was like she had finally been woken up.


	3. Coffee Shop AU Prompt

**A/N: Saw a cute prompt for an AU and thought I'd try it out.**

**Prompt: We got caught by this awful storm and now we're waiting for it to calm under the roof of a café, want to go inside and have a coffee in the meantime?**

**Let's say Katie and Ned are both in their early twenties. I put my own spin on the prompt. Enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

The sky was dark and heavy with clouds with rain; thunder rumbled overhead in an ominous warning and a crack of lightning echoed in the distance. Katie Clancy took a quick glance skyward, inwardly crossed her fingers and hoped she'd be able to make it home before the storm that had threatened all afternoon finally hit.

She was only a block away from her new apartment, but half a second later, the clouds burst open and dumped a week's worth of rain onto downtown Grandview, New York. And what felt like directly onto her, soaking her from head to toe.

Katie began to stumble down the sidewalk, her flats slipping on the wet pavement, wiping at her face as water dripped into her eyes. Around her, some people scrambled for the cover of the bus bench, others ran down the street with handbags or opened newspapers held over their heads. But as of this moment, Katie's eyes were trained solely on the black and white striped awning that loomed at the far end of the street.

If she could just make it there, and take shelter until the worst of it passed, she'd be happy. Because the last thing she needed right now was to slip and break her leg or something - and knowing her luck at the moment, that's exactly what would happen.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she finally reached cover, and welcomed the reprieve from the pounding rain. She shook her head - almost like her sister Mackenzie's would with her curly hair when she got caught in the rain - her brown hair creating a long, wet trail down the back of her dark green blouse.

Glancing over her shoulder, she noticed the café the awning belonged to was empty and dark, and spying the opening hours, realized it had already closed for the day. She grimaced in disappointment - the faint promise of a hot chocolate to warm her from the rain disappeared, and she lowered herself to the stoop, prepared to wait out the storm.

This wasn't exactly how she'd imagined her day to end.

Absently, Katie reached into the oversized purse she'd borrowed from her mother and pulled out her phone and stuck her headphones into her ears. Sam Smith's voice immediately came to life. The steady stream of rain in front of her, combined with the sound of the music in her ears slowly relaxed her - her shoulders slumped comfortably, and she leaned against the door, her body starting to lose the tension that had kept her feeling on edge all day.

And then the door was yanked out from behind her, and she found herself flat on her back, staring up into a face full of friendly green eyes, white teeth, a smattering of freckles and topped with a halo of blond waves.

"Holy crap!" she hissed, flailing awkwardly as she pulled herself into a sitting position. She yanked the headphones from her ears and practically threw her phone in her purse until the music abruptly shut off. She turned her head up to look at who'd done this to her and grit her teeth. "What the hell did you do that for?" She snapped.

The green eyes above her looked down in disappointment. "I knocked on the window and the door before I opened it, but you didn't say anything. I tried to open it as carefully as possible, but I didn't expect you to fall back that way - I'm sorry."

"Well I was listening to music, and that rain is pretty damn loud too. Of course, I wasn't going to hear you," she bit out. This time Katie pushed herself to her feet so she was standing in front of the stranger and folded her arms across her chest.

The man lifted his hands in defense. "I really am sorry. I was just doing a final check of the shop when I noticed you out there. I thought I might see if you wanted to come inside, wait for the storm out in a place that's warm and dry."

Katie eyed him warily. "You were going to ask a complete stranger to come inside your closed café to wait out a storm?"

The man nodded. "I'd like to think that if it was me out there, someone would do the same for me. Anyway," he stuck his hand out, and she reached out and took it without thinking. His palm was warm and smooth and the touch alone sent an odd shiver up her arm. "My name's Ned and this is my mother's café, not mine. Now that I'm not a stranger to you, would you like to come in, have a coffee or something to warm up? That rain out there is cold."

Katie glanced over her shoulder at the rain that looked like it had no intention of letting up, then back at this Ned guy, as he let go of her hand and crossed the room to flick a light switch. Dim lights blinked on just behind the counter, setting a warm, subtle glow through the room.

"Uh…I guess so," she said, bending to retrieve her bag from the sidewalk before stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "You don't mind, though? It looks like you were all closed up, and ready to leave."

"I was," Ned nodded, and shrugged. "But I rode my motorcycle to work this morning, and I really don't want to ride out in this weather if I don't have to. My mom would kill me for one and the last thing I need to have is another accident. So I was just going to wait it out - and now I've at least got some company." He pushed the sleeves up on the light grey long sleeve he wore, stepped up to the barista-grade coffee machine. "Can I get you something to warm you up?"

"Um…" Katie tore her gaze from his freshly revealed forearms - they were really, really nice forearms, she thought absently - up to his face, which was, really, really nice too. Better than nice. Ned had a pretty handsome if she was being totally honest, and here she was looking like a drowned rat. "Is hot chocolate okay?" She asked, looking around for which table she wanted to sit in. "If I have coffee at this time of day, it'll just wire me up and I won't get to sleep tonight."

"Hot chocolate it is," he agreed. "And that sounds good enough that I might have one too. Please, take a seat - how about that booth over there at the side, just beside the front window?"

She nodded, wound her way through the packed up tables and chairs to the first of three booths that lined the side wall. Like the awning, the seats were black and white striped, and the containers on the table - salt, pepper, and little sugar containers - were yellow. Whoever had styled this café had a very specific idea in mind when they'd fitted it out, she thought. It was eye-catching, friendly and sophisticated all rolled into one.

They were both silent as he prepared their drinks, and Katie looked down in wonder when he finally slid a mug almost as big as her head in front of her. Lashings of whipped cream, flecks of chocolate and what smelt like a dash of cinnamon topped off her drink.

"This…is not what I expected," she told him flatly as he lowered himself into the booth across from her. He laughed, and she noted that the edged of his eyes crinkled as he did so, and one corner of his mouth turned up slightly more than the other.

"Well, this is how we serve our hot chocolates when I'm here," he shrugged.

"Really?" She ran a finger around the edge of the mug, taking with it a swipe of cream that she immediately lifted to her lips.

She watched as his eyes clouded with confusion. "You've not been here before?"

Katie shook her head. "I mean, I've lived in Grandview my entire life so I knew about this place, but I'd never come in. I usually go to Java because it's by my mom's store, sorry." She shrugged. "Plus I work in the other direction, so I've never really had to come this way before. But I just moved into this part of town a week or so ago, and well…here I am."

"Oh." He said, nodding.

"Oh, what?" She asked.

"Well…" he trailed off, wrapped his hands around the mug in front of him. "Don't take this in a stalkerish way or anything, but you kind of look familiar."

"Really?" She asked, and even she could hear the obvious dubiousness in her tone.

"Yeah. Like maybe you'd come in here before." He shrugged. "Maybe we've just shopped at the same Walgreens or something though, or…"

She raised her mug to her lips, sipped at the hot drink; she couldn't help the moan that immediately fell from her lips. This hot chocolate was like liquid gold.

She shook her head emphatically. "Nuh-huh, trust me. If I'd known about this place before, I would have been in here every day for this. This is amazing. Of course, I'd also have to spend every day at the gym for the rest of my life to make up for it-"

"That's it!" She watched as Ned practically bounced in his seat, as he slapped his hand on the table. "I saw you at the gym, the one on the corner of First and 14th! You used to use the treadmill every time. You have incredible legs, but you stopped coming a couple of weeks ago."

Katie narrowed her eyes and almost couldn't help herself as she did a quick cursory sweep across his face, over his shoulders, and down his chest, trying to place him. Then, as her eyes landed on his arms again, it hit her.

Of course, he had nice arms. She admired them every Tuesday and Thursday when he mixed it up between the stationary bike and the bench where he'd lift probably at least one hundred pounds.

Oh no.

This was the guy she'd told her best friend, Hannah, about after one too many drinks one night. The guy she'd reluctantly admitted to absently thinking about - a lot - every time she saw him at the gym. The guy who her ex-boyfriend accused her of cheating on him with when he heard Hannah talk about him.

She'd just never been close enough to see the brilliance of his eyes, or the quirkiness of his grin, or the elegance of his hands; what she not had realized yet was that his hair was actually blond and not a light brown like it was when he was sweaty.

"You're right," she admitted faintly, trying to ignore the strange and suddenly rapid beat of her heart. "I started going there about a year ago. I don't normally like the gym, but I don't get to go running as much as I used to anymore when I was on track in high school, so…I do what I have to do. Good to know my legs still look good."

"Well…" he smiled at her, with a hint of shyness and sweetness to the grin that was unexpected. "I'm not usually the person to stare, but you caught my attention. Why'd you stop coming, if you don't mind me asking."

She glanced down at her mug, then back at him, felt the words falling from her lips before she could even stop them. "As I said earlier, I started the gym about a year ago which was when I'd moved my boyfriend at the time, but we broke up I took a break and then I got my new place."

"So, you're getting a new gym then?" He asked.

"I don't know, maybe." She said, shrugging. "But if I keep coming here for hot chocolate, I'll probably have to figure that out." Her smile was small and reserved, but it said just as much as his own had said to her.

Neither noticed when the rain stopped, and Katie definitely didn't switch gyms.


	4. Nude Model AU

**A/N: Alternate Universe: Where Katie takes a temporary job as a nude model to pay her tuition, intending to maybe get over her insecurities about herself and body. She doesn't expect the blond-haired, green-eyed art student in the front row to affect her so quickly, nor does she anticipate falling in love when he needs her help for a private project.**

* * *

"It's good money," Katie repeated to herself as she toes off her sneakers and peeled away her socks. "It'll pay for the rest of your tuition and maybe there will even be a little left to finally repair the air conditioner."

That went out last September — and it would be just in time for the sticky summer days that were only a few months away. She tugged her t-shirt over her head and unclasped her bra with trembling fingers. She'd probably only have to see a few of these people again if she was lucky. Silently cursing her fingers for shaking so badly, and she popped the button on her jeans and dragged the zipper down, shimmying the denim past her hips before the jeans laid with the other discarded clothes on the floor. With a deep breath, she hooks her thumbs into her panties and tugged them down with one swift motion.

Turning to the full-length mirror that stands in the corner, she wrinkled her nose and appraised her naked body. Her eyes swept down to the handiwork of the esthetician who waxed her two days ago. (She had finally been able to put the gift card her sister had gifted her with for Christmas to good use.) Katie had never given much thought to grooming her bikini line extensively, save for shaving during the summer, but now that she's getting used to being nearly bare down there, she has to admit she kind of liked it.

Cocking her head, her eyes drift up to study her flat, toned stomach before landing on her breasts. She had been staring at them this much since she had agreed to do this job but had finally come to realize that she had a pair that looked particularly good naked. They're perky and nicely shaped, which she had to attest to her mother giving her good genes.

She grabbed the fluffy robe that had been draped over the changing panel and tied the sash around her waist with a loose knot—she doesn't trust herself to work free with her trembling fingers. Her heart started to knock against her ribs at the first sound of scraping chairs and quiet chatter as the class started filing into the intimate classroom.

When she walked into the classroom, she had been dismayed to see only fifteen or twenty easels arranged in two concentric semi-circles. It's a much smaller than the class sizes were anticipated. (She had honestly expected an expansive sort of lecture hall, though that was a completely stupid though. If the students were going to be drawing her naked they would probably need to see her up close.)

Oh god, this was a terrible idea. Her mother was completely right and she should've listened to her and just taken the pity money. But she had wanted to be strong and independent and took the damn job anyway. Even if she had to be naked in front of strangers.

Her panic welled and she toyed with the ends of her hair, sucking the hair into her mouth, a nervous habit she's never been able to shake since she was probably eight.

She could back out, right? Fuck the money. She could work a couple of double shifts at the dinner and at least she kept her clothes on there. The noise level behind her rose to a steady hum of voices, but it's rapidly drowned out by the thundering of blood in her ears and the frantic thumping of her heart was she thinking when she ripped that little tab off of that flier?

She wasn't thinking. She couldn't have been thinking. And she never should have told Hannah this was a good idea. She vaguely discerned the honeyed tone of a male voice amidst the chaos in her head, and there was such a calming cadence to it that her mounting anxiety was somehow at least enough to listen more attentively to the professor's directions to his students and to wait for his cue to her.

She had only met the professor, Tanner, once before when they had gone over the expectations for the two-month long, bi-weekly modeling assignment. Apparently, there was more in just disrobing and being naked in front of a room full of strangers. Tanner had reassured her that there was nothing to be nervous about. It was an 'Anatomy of Art' students were used to regular nude models.

Even as she left his office on that morning two weeks ago she was wondering what had possessed her to apply for something that was so out-of-character for her. She had the opportunity to call him up and apologize profusely before backing out. But now there's no going back now because Tanner gave a final few instructions, and then he called for her. He doesn't use her name, just as he had assured her he wouldn't.

That had seemed like an odd promise, keeping her identity secret, given she would be completely exposed in every other sense of the word.

She took a deep breath and stepped around the partition, meeting Tanner's kind, amber eyes, and she managed to return his comforting smile. Her gaze wandered to the table at the front of the classroom, and she tried to keep her legs from visibly trembling as she laid on it. Before arriving, she had told herself to immediately find a point on the rear wall of the classroom to avoid eye contact with the students.

But as she gets into position on the pedestal, she ignored her own advice and foolishly did a quick scan of the room. Most of the students were young, her age probably, but there was a woman with brig who's likely around forty, and another older woman with long, wavy silver locks who looked like she's pushing nearly seventy.

No one seemed to be looking directly at her yet, which was a relief. Most were fussing with their easels, and one girl mumbled to herself while she arranged her pencils. As she looked to her right, her line of vision landed on an incredibly attractive guy who was most definitely staring at her with eyes so green that she questioned if he was wearing contacts or not.

The intense shade was something an artist would blend together on a palette. But that's the only thing she noticed because she averted her eyes quickly, her stomach now fluttered anew. She can't glance back at him for a better look. If anything she was more on edge now that she thought one of the students was cute.

"Whenever you're ready," Tanner said gently.

She nodded absently, fingers like anvils as they located the knot of the robe. She finally worked it free and tried as discreetly to take another cleansing breath while she eased the robe off her shoulders.

As the air hit her bare skin, her body responded accordingly. Her nipples instantly puckered into taut buds. Her abdomen tightened, and goosebumps pricked her arms. A brief shiver claimed her entire body, and she swallowed past the lump of anxiety crowding her throat. She found that spot on the back wall she had hoped for—a soothing poster of the color wheel—and assumed the pose that she'll be forced to hold for the next sixty minutes.

It's simply laying on her back with an arch, arms at her side, her face angled slightly to the left. (The professor had told her to keep her expression neutral, to try and relax her mouth without smiling) After ten minutes, she's already run out of things to think about, having mentally made a grocery list, reviewed her thoughts about for an English quiz she has tomorrow. She then contemplated what to do about dinner since her fridge was basically empty.

After twenty minutes, her nose started to itch, and she spent several excruciating seconds willing the uncomfortable tickle to go away, fighting the urge to raise her scratch it. At the thirty-minute mark, she can't believe she's only halfway done. How was she going to do this for another half-hour, let alone seven more times over the course of a month?

Yep. Definitely the dumbest fucking idea she's ever had. Inspired by her own stupidity, she kept herself occupied by running through lines from a Princess Bride in her head, and she'd gotten through half of it when Tanner's warm voice announces a break to the class.

Her hour was up.

She exhaled in relief as Tanner approached her with her robe in hand and that kind smile on his face. "You did great," he enthused. "It's very challenging to stand still and just look pretty, huh?

She's not sure about the looking pretty part, because she's never really thought of herself as beautiful, but she returned his smile politely and slipped on the robe. Tanner told her that she can go ahead and get dressed.

When she finished and stepped around the partition again, much of the class has vacated the room, temporarily abandoning their easels while on break. But the guy with the penetrating green eyes remained seated at his. His blond head was bent over, rummaging around in some kind of bag, and a moment later he stood up from his stool and uncapped a bottle of water.

She watched as he took a long drink from it. The muscles in his jaw clench and his throat bobbed a couple of times. From where she stood and saw of him at this angle, he's indeed very attractive. He set the bottle beneath his feet and then leaned over again, withdrawing something from a leather portfolio. As he places the fresh paper on his easel, she got a peek at the many that sat inside.

They were really good. Some were in black and white and others were in color. Then he picked up the portfolio and his eyes finally met hers. He gave her an easy smile, and she immediately looked away, murmured a hasty goodbye to Tanner, and kept her eyes cast downward as she walked out of the room.

* * *

When Katie arrives for her second modeling session the next week, her nerves were slightly less jittery, and her fingers didn't tremble quite as much when she was first up there. She made a concerted effort to avoid eye contact with anyone—especially the handsome blond.

It only took one furtive glance for her to notice he was sitting front and center. She realized only moments in the session that this pose was not a fun one. Her neck and back were arched, bowed upward from where she sat on a hard wooden table. Her abdominal muscles ached from the strain of keeping her body angled.

It's like doing crunches, but like a thousand times worse. The way she had to hold her head also means she can't use her focal point on the back wall, and there wasn't a damn thing to look at on the ceiling. She started to count the speckled holes in the tiles, but the longer she counted, she knew she must be making faces as she struggled to keep the numbers straight.

She gave up at four hundred and twenty-three and of something more mundane. One thing that she couldn't keep her mind off of was the burning sensation spreading through her stomach the longer she stayed in position. It felt like her midsection was on fire for the entire agonizing hour, she nearly collapsed when Tanner's dulcet voice announced the break for the class.

She grimaced while rising to her feet, reaching for her robe, and she made the mistake of looking directly at the blond guy. He stared at her, his lips curled up on the left side of his mouth, sympathy heavy in those big, green eyes.

God, he was really fucking hot. He definitely knew it too.

She felt a little twinge in her belly, and instantly she's hyper-aware of the fact that she's still standing naked before him. Without even shrugging on the robe first, she hastens behind the divider, threw on her clothes, and scampered out of the room just as quickly as she had left last time, except she'd heard his laughter as she left this time.

* * *

**Hannah [7:26 p.m.] — Let's go out tonight! I miss you bestie and it has been weeks since we let loose together **

Katie rolled her eyes and shoved her sketchbook off her lap as she read the message and quickly replied.

**Katie [7:26 p.m.]— I'm working on a project for school. Sorry. I can't**

**Hannah [7:27 p.m.] —Dammit Katie! It's Saturday night! Put down the colored pencils for once and let's have some fun. I thought the nude modeling would help, you know…**

She sighed and picked up her phone as Hannah began to call her a minute or so later. It's easier to argue with her best friend in real time.

"Kaaaatttttieeee," Hannah whined as she answered. "Come on! You've earned a night out. There's no cover charge at The Loft tonight before nine. If we get in and get free drinks all night because we're hot."

"I don't know. I have to get this drawing—" Her friend cut her off immediately.

"Fuck that! Stop making excuses, throw on that sexy silver halter top you bought this summer and never wear, and some skinny jeans or a hot skirt, and be ready to go in twenty minutes. I'll be knocking on your door and won't stop. We have only been out three times since your twenty-first birthday last year."

Katie sighed. "Hold on," she sighed. The Loft, even with a dumb name, was one of the nicer college clubs in all of the city. She'd been there both of the times she'd been out with Hannah—once on her 21st birthday and once to celebrate her mother's birthday. It is farther away from the frat houses and high schools, thus it greatly reduces the chance of getting hit frat guys or underage teenage boys with fake IDs. "Hannah, I don't know. I'm kind of tired and The Loft is—"

"The Loft is nothing. And the drinks that we have to pay for are on me tonight since you practically wrote my child development paper for me last week. No more excuses. Get dressed. You always look hot. I'll be there soon."

Hannah was smart because she hung up before Katie could issue any further protest. With another sigh, she changed into the halter-top that her best friend suggested, and rather than fight with her only strapless bra all night, she impulsively decided to go braless.

Funny enough it's been the nude modeling that gave her the confidence that she could pull it off. She tugged on her black skinny jeans, found a pair of heels that won't murder her feet all night, and put on some makeup.

After double checking her eyeliner and spraying a little bit of perfume, she waited on the front stoop for Hannah, and when she saw Brandon's truck pulling up to the curb, she groaned inwardly. Of course. Her best friend inconveniently avoided telling her the fact her boyfriend would be joining them too. Great, now she will be stuck playing the third wheel all night.

And that's exactly what she did. She's nursing her second martini, running her finger along the rim, idly staring off at the crowded dance floor, trying to avoid the sight of her friends grinding on each other and sporadically making out when she heard her name spoken hesitantly.

She spun around to meet a pair of increasingly familiar green eyes. Shit. Of all the clubs, of course, the handsome blond art class that had seen her naked twice was here. She should've seen this coming and of course, he looked attractive. Really, really attractive.

"I thought it was you," he said. "My name's Ned. What's yours?"

"It's Katie.. you're not gonna go tell everyone now, right?" She laughed, and that wounded look that came across his face suggested her tone came out a little harsher than it needed to be. But she was tough. He didn't need to know her name. It's not like they're friends.

But his smile returned. "Oh…no…I wouldn't do that. I understand why you would want no one to know your name. It's just…I was curious about it. And I imagined that your name was something really unique And it's not what I pictured, but it fits you."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. Her bullshit meter pinged—loudly; she doesn't have time for this guy's lame flirting, even if he didn't think it was unique what the hell did that matter? All he knew about her was what she looked like naked. Heat bloomed on her cheeks.

"Oh, thanks." She gave him a demure but measured smile in return. She felt his eyes inconspicuously dart down to her cleavage, and she thought how ridiculous it was that he was bothering to check her out. He's seen her naked already, and as she remembered that little detail, she blushed heavily. "It's nice to see you."

"Are you here alone?" he asked, gesturing to the empty stools beside her.

"No," she replied, fiddling with the red cocktail stirrer in her drink, "I'm with some friends, but they're out on the dance floor." It seemed as if he's waiting for her to invite him to sit down, but when she didn't say it fast enough, there's a flicker of what looked like disappointment on his face.

"Oh. Well I'll just go then." He turned to walk away.

She can't help but let her eyes wander down to the dark-washed denim hugging his ass, and her eyes were still lingering there when he paused again and started to turn back around.

"Listen," she cut him off. "I feel like we got off on the wrong foot."

He waved a hand. "It's fine. It's just I saw you and thought it was too much of a coincidence you were here."

"Like fate?" She laughed, plucking her drink off the bar to take a swig. "My mom believes in the stuff."

"Don't you?" He asked.

"It's hard when fate doesn't work out for you," she shrugged and finally plucked the straw out of her glass and tossed it to the table. "And as long as you don't announce my name in class on Tuesday, I'd like it if you sat with me."

"Your secret is safe with me. And I am sorry if I came across as creepy tonight." He paused before smiling and adding, "You just looked really beautiful tonight."

"A much different view with the clothes on, huh?" She laughed.

There's a brief flash of that same wounded puppy-dog look on his face, and a fleeting rush of regret ran through her at the sarcasm that she heard in her response. But his expression quickly shifts, and he aimed a disarming smile at her. "Different, yes. But you look just as sexy fully clothed, which isn't easy for most women to do."

She ignored the compliment and narrowed her eyes at him. "Listen, if you think lines like that are going to work on me—"

"It's not a line, Katie," he interrupted. "Just an observation. When you're an artist, you see so many naked bodies that you become a little desensitized to them. I appreciate who can show just the right amount of skin to make me want to see more."

"You have seen more," she pointed out, sipping her martini.

He stepped closer to where she sat. "I've seen you with an artist's eye. I imagine there's far more to learn about your body than what I see on that pedestal twice this month. The timbre of his voice was husky in spite of the pulsing music in the club.

She chased the bolt of desire that skittered down her spine with the rest of her martini, swallowing hastily as the vodka burned her throat on its way down.

Ned motioned to the empty glass. "Can I buy you another while you wait for your friends?"

She traps him with her eyes while her conscience goes to battle with her libido. She can't decide if Ned was an incorrigible, cocky flirt, or a genuinely nice guy. She's wanted to find out which it was, given she only had a few weeks left of the modeling assignment, and she really can't afford to get too attached to him if it's the latter.

"I can buy my own drinks, thanks." She conveniently left out the part that her best friend's boyfriend had bought both of her overpriced cocktails tonight. The defeat was heavy in his clear green orbs, and just as she's having second thoughts, because holy shit, she needed to make his face stop looking at her like that.

He gave a shrug and murmured, "Okay. Well, have a nice night."

This time he did walk away, though he glances over his shoulder at her one final time, and she had to look away when shame bubbled up in her gut.

And the longer she sat by herself, contemplating a third drink, the more she second-guesses rejecting Ned. It's been ages since a nice guy showed any interest in buying her a drink. It's not like he would have expected to her to go home with him or to even give him her number.

This is why you're single, a nagging little voice in the back of her head taunted. You'll never get laid again.

She pushed her empty glass across the table, hopped off her stool, and started to scan the crush of bodies on the dance floor for any sign of Ned. She saw Hannah and Brandon first, pawing each other on the far edge of the floor near the bar.

Hannah's exaggerated swaying motions indicate she's more than a little drunk. Brandon held onto her tightly, their bodies pressed flush together. The way that the man gazed at her best friend sparked a tiny ember of jealousy in Katie. As happy as she was her friends, she wanted to badly for someone to stare at her like that.

But then Brandon and Hannah shifted to the left enough that she got a perfect view of Ned standing near the bar, surrounded by a group of guys and a couple of girls. A particularly pretty redhead leaned into him, her hand flat against his chest. He smiled easily, talking and laughing with her and the others in between sips of his dark beer.

When he downed it, he set his glass on the bar, and the redheaded girl grabbed his hand and led him onto the dance floor. She had no need to stick around and watch him put his hands all over this girl, and she simply refused to acknowledge the surge of envy throbbing in her veins.

She should've never told him no to that drink. Why the fuck had she told him no? This was why she usually just stayed home.

* * *

As soon as she entered the classroom the next week, her stomach dropped when she saw a small cot in the center of the room. The pose the instructor related to her was erotic and seductive, one she would imagine doing for a lover. She would be lying on her side, head propped on one elbow, hair spilling across her breasts.

This was literally the pose out of The Titanic.

He encouraged her to maybe point and think of something sexy in order to get some color in her cheeks and an appropriately coy smile on her lips. When she felt a rush of heat flood her body as Ned walked into the room, Tanner laughed softly.

"Well, that worked just fine," Tanner snickered. "Go on and get comfortable. We'll begin in a few minutes."

As she dropped the robe and climbed onto the narrow bed, she's aware of Ned setting up his easel directly in front of her. She swallowed, and today she doesn't make effort to avoid looking at him. He, on the other hand, seems fully engaged in his prep work at his easel, and she can't say she's surprised that his demeanor towards her appears to have changed she blew him off on Saturday night.

She spent most of the next morning wallowing in a pool of guilt and self-pity before Mackenzie called her and chewed her out for blowing a possible cute boyfriend to bring home to their mom and dad.

With the pounding headache and heartache, she had that morning, it would have been easier to tolerate had it simply been from a hangover. It took nearly all day for the uneasiness cloaking her to dissipate.

Once she had decided to after her next session and offer an apology for her rudeness, her conscience was finally placated enough to push him from her thoughts for longer than thirty seconds. Ned eventually glances up, and she tried to hold his gaze as she finger-combs her long, loose waves and swept them over her shoulder.

He stared back, his expression almost impassive and unreadable, and her gut tightened a little. Then he picked up his charcoal and she watched his eyes slide over to Tanner, who's giving instructions to her to keep a slight smile on her face this time, and she heard his footsteps left the platform as he moved to mingle among the students and their easels.

Her lips twitched as she tried to get the right smile to claim her mouth. What did Tanner say before—think of something sexy? Not much to go on there. Her love life lately was the equivalent of pumping a dry well, but it's her own damn fault. She's spent more nights with her hand and late-night softcore porn on the Lifetime network than she'd care to fess up to. While her mind reels, her eyes kept wandering to Ned. She bets he had a fabulous sex life.

For the first time, she allowed herself to really examine his features—aside from the mesmerizing eyes that she liked to admire. While his face was fixed in quiet concentration, she studied the defined lines of his cheekbones, his nose, the bow of his mouth. His jaw, in particular, was really nice because it looked so symmetrical, so strong, and she blushed when she found herself thinking what it might be like to hold it in her hands if he were to kiss her.

A ripple of heat flows through her stomach and down to her groin. Fuck. She liked him. Where did that come from?

She sucked in a shallow breath, trying not to move too much and distract the students at work, but when Tanner passed by the front of the classroom and gave a nod of approval. She steadfastly refused to look back to Ned after that. She racked her brain for any sexy scenes from movies that she's seen, and she settled on that one between Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze's sexy pottery-making scene, though for the life of her she can't remember the name of the damn movie.

At the end of the hour, she was so blissfully tired from her languid pose and from thinking of sex all morning that she could easily lie down and close her eyes. Sluggishly, she slides her legs off the cot and turned to grab her robe when she heard her name spoken in a soft, hushed voice, like a secret. Other than Tanner, only one person in the room knew it.

She spun around, and Ned smiled at her shyly, expectantly. "Can we talk before you go?" he asked softly.

She gaped at him. "Ah…" she reached for her robe and pulled it around her hastily. "Uhh..." Why the hell can't she make her mouth connect with her brain?

"It will just take a minute. Tanner only gives us ten minutes between models," he explained.

"Sure," she managed to croak. "Let me get dressed."

He grinned. "I'm gonna run to the restroom. I'll wait for you in the hall."

Her heart rate accelerated at the thought of Ned wanting to talk to her again, and she mentally rehearsed her apology as she redressed herself with shaky fingers. She tousled her hair and straightened the skirt of her dress, then took a deep breath and exited the classroom.

Ned leaned against the wall opposite the classroom, scrolling through his phone. He shoved it into his pocket when he saw her, and his face lit up. "I'll keep this short, promise—" he began.

"I'm sorry I was rude the other night," she blurted, the words running together in her rush to spit them out.

Ned looked amused by her words, but nodded and smiled at her. "And here I was going to apologize to you."

"For what?" She asked.

"Coming on a little strong," he answered and cleared his throat. "The other night, at The Loft?"

She played with the strap of her messenger bag and pursed her lips at him. "Oh. You don't need to apologize to me. I could have been a little nicer. And I probably overreacted—again. I just…I had intended to keep my real life separate from this little assignment." She motioned to the classroom behind her.

"I get that," he said quietly. "Well then, I guess the next thing I wanted to ask you might be out of the question."

A little tremor rippled through her as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "What's that?" She asked.

He shifted his weight on his feet and tousled his blond waves. Was he actually a little nervous to ask her whatever he was going to? "I have something to ask you. A favor. But I'd really like it if you'd have dinner with me so I can explain everything better, and not in so much of a rush."

"Oh…um…" She looked down at her hands and then back up to his face. She couldn't help but want to ask if this was a date. She wanted it to be one.

Don't be stupid, the voice in the back of her head told herself. There's no way he wants you like that, not after the way you've acted.

It's those eyes that were her undoing. He looked so much like he did the other night at the bar, and she didn't want to be the reason that they were filled with disappointment again. At the very least, she will have dinner with a really hot guy and not spend a night in front of the television alone.

"Yes, I'd like that," she agreed. "I'll have dinner with you."

The smile that spread across his face was contagious, and she felt her own mouth tug upward in spite of itself. Then he exhaled, a huge puff of air that ghosts across her cheek and his shoulders relaxed a little.

"Excellent!" he beamed. The sound of Tanner's voice caused them both to turn, and he pulled his cell phone from his pocket. "I've got to get back inside. Will you give me your number so I can text you later?"

She rattled off the digits and with a few taps, she felt her own phone buzz from where it rested silenced in her bag. He gave her one last broad grin and murmured a see you later as he went back into the art room. She continued to watch Ned until Tanner appeared in the doorway, gives her a knowing smile, and closed the door.

* * *

The next Friday evening, Katie tapped her foot nervously and traced the scalloped pattern in her tights with her index finger as she waited for Ned in the lobby of the restaurant they chose. When they had arranged their date, Ned had wanted to pick her up, but when he told he lived across town that seemed like too much trouble and she didn't want to get her hopes up those kinds of plans for them.

Even if she had changed her outfit five times, much to her mother and sister's amusement on the video call home. Her sister had not so inconspicuously laughed at her nervousness and had a bemused smile on her face until she had scowled and ended the call.

She was then left alone to agonize over her wardrobe before finally settling on a soft blue, sweater dress with tights. It was still casual but did cling nicely to her curves. As she sat down, her leg was still bouncing from her jitters and she suddenly remembered what Ned had told her about showing enough skin to make him want to see more.

She glanced down at her outfit. Not much cleavage or her legs were bared. Way to go, Katie, she thought dryly. Brilliant choice.

"Katie?" She startled and looked up.

Ned smiled down at her, and he looked perfect as usual. He's wearing the same dark-washed jeans from the other night at the bar, and a charcoal grey button-up opened over a black t-shirt. His hair had that messy-but-still-styled look to it. A narrow brown paper bag was tucked under his left arm.

She leaped to her feet. "Hi, Ned."

He grinned at her. "Hi yourself. You look beautiful."

She ducks her head at the compliment. He strode to the hostess and spoke to her in hushed tones. The older woman gave him a secretive smile, nodded, and she grabbed two menus. Ned turned and extended a hand to her.

She hesitated before grasping it, and he squeezed it gently, warmth flooding her palm from his innocent touch. The hostess led them towards the rear of the tiny restaurant, and she glanced around at the rustic prints of Italian villas and vineyards and the assortment of bottles lining the wrought-iron shelves on the walls.

It's a charming little place, for sure. Ned had good taste in restaurants. The booth that the hostess stopped in front of was cozy and intimate. He thanked the woman and settled across from her, placing the bag on the table between them.

"Is this okay?" he asked. "It's quiet and the food is incredible, I promise."

"Oh yeah, it's really nice. Better than any place anyone else has brought me before," she replied.

Before he can say anything else, a petite, dark-haired waitress came over, greeted them with a very friendly smile, and began to rattle off the specials as she took the bottle of wine Ned brought from the paper bag and uncorked it. She jokingly asked them both for their Ids and they both showed their ids.

"I don't drink a lot of wine," he confessed, swirling the ruby liquid around in the glass. "But my roommate swears this is a good one." He smiled at her, amber flecks in his eyes from the candle in the middle of the table. He held his glass out to her, and she stared at him. "What should we toast to?"

"Ah, oh…I don't know," she stammered, because the dim lighting of the booth and the flame flickering in the votive cast the most delicious shadows on his jaw, and make out the dusting of blond stubble there. Was it wrong for her to want to lick it? Cause she kind of does. He arched a brow at her. "How about to the possibility of something…"

He clicked his glass against hers, and they both sipped at their wine. After they ordered, Ned dominated the conversation. She listened raptly as he talked about everything from his family to his favorite books, and he told her a lot, but she kept quiet herself, not yet ready to share anything personally yet.

Before their food arrived, he cleared his throat and she saw his throat jump as he swallowed. His fingers drummed against the edge of the table. "So, about that favor…"

She dredged another piece of bread through the roasted garlic and olive oil. "Oh, right," she nodded.

She's been getting so comfortable with him and gawking at his handsomeness all night that she's all but forgotten an actual purpose he had arranged this dinner. It wasn't a real date. Not really. He ran a finger along the rim of his wine glass.

"You can absolutely say no if you want. But I thought since you have been modeling for class, that you might be open to helping me out with a personal project of mine." He paused and when she remained silent and kept picking at her bread, he continued, "I have a project for my portfolio, for my final project for another one of my classes. And I need a model to paint and photograph."

She swallowed a bite of bread and wrinkled her nose. She can't quite make sense of what he's proposing. If he will be painting something, why will it need to be photographed it too? Wouldn't the painting itself be evidence enough of whatever he needs it for?

He must sense her confusion, and he reached for her hand to gently take it in his. There's something intimate about the gesture, and she nearly choked on the bread that she was chewing, her face burning, and she feels a little silly for the fluttering in her lower abdomen.

"Katie, I'd like to paint you." He proposed.

"Um…okay," she acknowledged. "You've been sketching me for two weeks now, so if it's just the fact that it would just be you and me alone and that's the favor… you don't have to ask me like this."

When he shook his head, he opened his mouth to speak, but then the waitress approached with questions about their dinner. He took a deep breath after the server ground some fresh parmesan on her pasta and fresh pepper on his chicken.

His eyes locked on hers, and another shiver ratchets down her spine. "I want to paint you, Katie. I'd need you to be naked because your body would be my canvas."

"Oh…Oh." She felt more heat staining her cheeks, and he looked at her earnestly, a gentle plea in his eyes.

"I thought it might be easier just to ask you, since like you said, we're kind of already familiar with each other." He explained. "And if you say no, I understand, but just know that I can pay you a little cash—"

"I don't need your money, Ned," she said quietly, fidgeting with the napkin in her lap. "I'll do it."

"You will?" he asked, and his face broke into such a smile that she'd likely agree to anything at the moment to keep it there. "You will?" He grabbed her hand again, running his thumb over the back of it, prickling a path of goosebumps up her arm. "Thank you. That's awesome. I really appreciate it."

In between bites of their meal, he filled her in on the details of his project, and she has to admit she's intrigued by how he's going to be able to pull it off with just he some paint. But she supposed that's why he's the artist, and she's just the one who had one art class and liked to draw.

When they finished eating, a man approached their table, a gleam in his eye and a dish in his hand. "Ned, buonasera. Your dinner was good, yes?"

"It was excellent, Frank, thank you for getting us a table so quick." Ned grinned.

The man's eyes wander to Katie and crinkle cordially. "And you, signorina, was your meal satisfactory?"

She motioned down to her completely empty plate. "It was wonderful, thank you."

The man grinned with pride and set down the dish before them. She eyes widened at the massive slice of tiramisu cake resting atop a swirled ribbon of some kind of chocolate. "Enjoy," the man said as a busboy swoops in to clear their dirty dinner plates.

Ned gave her a smile and slide the dessert plate towards her. "You go ahead," he said politely. "It's delicious. I've had it many, many times."

"So you bring all your dates here," she said teasingly, reaching for a fork, and then she froze.

Shit, why did she just say that? It was one thing for the waitress to joke about it, but she winced as she waited for Ned's reaction. But he doesn't miss a beat. His eyes sparkled in the candlelight as he leaned forward a little and cut her a slice.

"Would you believe me if I told you that you're the first girl I've ever brought here and that I haven't been on a date since high school." He said.

"No," she replied, hoping her cheeks weren't as red as they felt. She played with the fork for a bit of the cake. "Is it true?"

"You are," he affirmed. "My family has just been coming here for years. Since before I was born, actually. My father worked for the owner, and her late husband went to high school with him. So this place is pretty special to me, and I don't bring just anyone here." He licked his lips and reached for the second fork and took a bit from the main piece.

"That makes me feel a little better," she smiled and brought her fork to his mouth. She's relieved she didn't internally die from that 'date' comment. "This place is nice."

The waitress brought the check, and she reached for her purse. Ned held up his hand.

"What kind of date would I be if I didn't pick up the tab?" He said.

"Ned, no, I can still pay for..." She started.

"I asked you out and you're doing me a favor. So at the very least, even if you don't think this is a real date, I can still treat you." Something flickered in his eyes as he placed a credit card on the little tray. "Did you want this to be a real date?" he asked, his voice dropping dangerously.

She swallowed hard, her body zinging with electricity from the look he's giving her, and she hastily wiped her mouth, set her napkin on the table, and left his question in the air as she excused herself to go to the restroom. She didn't even have to use the bathroom, but the time away from Ned allowed her to catch her breath and gather her thoughts.

As much as she hated to admit given her emphatic assertion that she wouldn't connect with anyone during the modeling gig, she liked Ned. She really, really likes him. And as she thought about being naked in front of him, just the two of them alone somewhere for him to paint her, her stomach swooped and she felt that twinge in her lower abdomen.

She checked her reflection in the mirror. The pink flush on her cheeks was unmistakable. She waited several minutes for it to fade, then she took a deep breath, washed her hands out when she exited the restroom—nearly colliding with Ned.

His hands landed on her waist, and she heard a little gasp escape her lips. He laughed softly. "Sorry if I startled you. I took your cue and went too."

She wondered if it's only her imagination that his fingers seemed to caress her hips slightly before he released her.

"I paid the bill. We're all set," he added.

"Oh…okay. Um, thank you." Her chest tightened; she doesn't really want this evening to end, but reluctantly, she followed him through the tiny dining room as he called to the old lady at the front, and he walked Katie to her car.

"I guess I'll see you on Tuesday?" he asked softly as she fumbled with her keys.

"Uh, yeah. Thank you again for dinner, Ned. It was really nice," she said, smiling at him.

"It was my pleasure," he murmured, and that husky timbre of his voice has her lower body doing things it shouldn't. "I wish you had answered my question before going the restroom though."

"Wh-what question?" she stammered, her pulse quickening.

"If you wanted this to be a real date," he replied, rocking on his feet a little. "Because I definitely did, and right now, I'd really like to kiss you."

She can't find any words, or her breath either, but she must give him some kind of nonverbal affirmation because very slowly he leaned in and brushed his lips across cheeks. Her skin tingled like the mint she smelled on his breath when he stepped back.

"Goodnight, Katie." He opened her door for her and waited until she's settled inside before he retreated and walked across the parking lot to a small beat-up truck.

It took a full ten minutes of giddy laughter and cheesy grinning before her heart stopped racing and she could get it together enough to drive home. She doesn't miss the fact that his truck was directly behind her as she pulled away from the restaurant.

He waited for her.

A giddy feeling swirled around inside her stomach again. Butterflies, some may say. She was a total goner.

* * *

She's pleasantly surprised when Ned texted her the next morning. And she's even more pleasantly surprised when he came by the while she's at work. He was commandeering a little table in the window, where he proceeded to draw for three hours.

Just before four that afternoon, he packed up his sketchbook and pencils, and he asked her was done with her shift. She'd never regretted having to work a double more in her life. He's visibly disappointed when she had to decline to have dinner with him, and while she saw that look back on his face, it excited her to know he wanted to see her again.

But this burgeoning attraction to Ned Banks (she loved the sound of his last name) meant her nerves were back with a vengeance when she undressed the next art class and got into position. It's different getting naked today, and she knew that has everything to do with the blond-haired, green-eyed man in the front row.

She swore she could see his lips on her cheek if she closed her eyes and recalled his face just inches from hers. She lost the will not to look at him about three seconds after she sat on the stool. As she crossed her legs and angled her torso to the left, she made eye contact and flashed a smile that must be tethered to the juncture of her thighs with how quickly she flooded with heat.

But then the pose Tanner told her to take kept gaze fixed on the floor. The hour passed slowly as usual, and it's her turn to be dismayed when she finished redressing and discovered Ned already in conversation with the orange-haired woman to his right.

Not that she wanted to give any indication to anyone in the class that she and Ned have anything simmering between them, but it would if she said goodbye. She hasn't even reached the front door of the building when her phone trilled with a message alert.

**Ned [11:03 a.m.] — Any plans tonight? My roommate is staying at his girlfriend's and it might be a good time to get started on my project :)**

She stopped mid-reach for the door and leaned against the wall as she skimmed the text several more times. Her lips tugged into a smile when she tapped out a quick reply.

**Katie [11:04 a.m.] — Yes, I'm free.**

**Ned [11:05 a.m.] — Excellent. How's five sound? It will take a few hours to finish.**

Another text followed with his address, but she doesn't hear back from him after that, and she knew his class has resumed. She had a hard time paying attention in her own art class that afternoon, choosing to spend most of the time staring out the window.

She fantasized about if Ned had been just a couple of inches to the left the other night. He would've kissed her on the mouth for what she imagined what could have quickly escalated into a very heated make-out session until his body pressed hers up against the side of her car.

At least she doesn't have to worry about what she's going to wear to his apartment tonight. She's not going to be wearing it long enough to care. Still, she riffled through her upper drawer to find the sexiest pair of panties she had and she changed into the only bra she owns that's not cotton or from a generic store—just in case. His apartment was easy to find (closer to campus than her own, in fact), and she bounced on the balls of her feet, excitement and trepidation coursing through he proportions.

"Hey," he greets her warmly, and as he ushers her inside, the soothing aroma of cinnamon wafted past her. He gave her a tour of the place—it's pretty spacious for an apartment. His bedroom was large enough for him to have a makeshift studio set up one corner. There were a few tarps and towels lying on the foot of his bed, and the top of his desk was covered with at least twenty colors of different paints and a stack of brushes. "I thought I could paint you first, and then maybe I could make us dinner if you're okay with that?"

"Oh, you don't have—" She started.

He silenced her with a look. "I know I don't have to. I want to. I like you."

"Okay," she agreed easily, blushing. "I like you too."

"Good." He grinned and grabbed one of the tarps, snapping it out in front of him and spreading it out on the floor. Then he started to move for the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

He paused. "I thought I'd let you get undressed."

She bit her lip and felt her body temperature rise about ten degrees. "You, um, don't have to go. I've got nothing to hide, nothing you haven't seen before."

"Just trying to be a gentleman," he replied softly, crossing back to his desk. "Go ahead then, whenever you're ready." He busied himself with his brushes as she stared at his back for a long moment, before giving a little cough that she hoped commanded his attention enough for him to glance over at her.

Sure enough, he glanced over his shoulder just as she tossed her shirt to the floor, and she doesn't miss his eyes darting down to her breasts, spilling over the tiny lace bra she chose. She held his gaze as she reached behind and unhooked the clasps. The tension left the undergarment, and she peeled it off, baring herself to him.

Her body was a live wire when she kicked off her flats, removes her jeans, and stood in nothing but a scrap of fabric that Victoria Secret dared to call panties (and charge almost twenty dollars for). But it's worth it, because she definitely felt sexy with him gaping at her, unable to tear his eyes from her nearly nude form.

Just as she looped her thumbs in the sides of the panties, he broke his trance and looked away, fanning out his sketches for the design that he's going to replicate on her and began to study them intently. She let out a ragged breath and stepped out of her underwear, shoving them aside.

Ned had explained to her that his assignment is to bring a famous poem to life. His professor had given him Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven, and thus, he's going to be literally transforming her into the titular bird, painting her body with plumage.

"So where do you…want me?" she asked.

"Just step onto the tarp, please. I'm pretty careful, but just in case…" He turned and faced her, and she smiles nervously, her arms twitching at her sides. "Relax," he said gently. "This is going to be a little cold at first," he murmured. She nodded and watched as he dipped the brush into a pot of paint. The tip came out like a bluish-black bruise blooming across the camel-colored bristles. "I'm going to start on your left arm, okay?"

With a quick glance at his sketches, he leaned over her, and her bod stringing her nerves like a tightrope. She jolted at the first flick of his wrist and the wet lick of the bristles across her skin. The brush jumped, and she saw Ned visibly flinch.

"I'm sorry," she stammered, squeezing her eyes shut.

He chuckled softly, and she felt a warm cloth swab at her arm. "I told you it would be cold."

She opened one eye and peered at him. "The cold I expected. I just didn't think it would tickle so much."

"Ticklish, hmm? I'll make a note of that—add it to the list of things I know about you." He chuckled.

"Oh? What things do you know about me?" she asked, tugging her lower lip between her teeth, awaiting the touch of the brush to her skin again.

"Well, it's kind of a short list," he said, and she thought she saw a tinge of pink rising on his cheeks. "You were awfully quiet at dinner the other night when I was going on about myself. Consider this," he continued, as he trailed the brush in a steady line along her forearm, "I've got you completely naked in front of me, and I don't even something as simple as your favorite color."

"It's red," she hissed through clenched teeth, fighting the urge to fidget as the bristles moved over her sensitive skin. "What's yours?"

He smiled, lifting the brush, dipping it back through the paint. He shook off the excess before returning his attention to her arm. "Blue." She must wrinkle her nose or scowl visibly because that warm laugh he had filled the space between them again. "What's wrong with blue?" He asked.

"Blue like the hair of that woman who sits next to you in class?" She asked.

"No, much softer than that," he demurred, narrowing those hypnotic eyes in concentration as he swirled the brush over her elbow. "Like the color of the sky on an early morning. Almost like the same color of that bra you were wearing."

"Oh." She fell silent and stared at the ceiling. She loved the way he talked. It only made him sexier to her.

"Tell me something else about you," he prompted, moving the brush into a color of paint that looks almost identical to the one he was just using, but the color that was applied to arm was indeed a shade lighter than the last inky hue.

"Like what?" She asked.

"Hmm…you have any siblings?" He asked.

"I have younger four siblings and two grossly-in-love parents," she replied, her eyes widening in awe at the feathers starting to take shape on her arm. "One brother and three sisters."

Ned's tongue jutted out in concentration as he rotated her arm and continued painting. She's not sure what compelled her to do so, but she began to open up to him while he worked. Words spill from her lips as fluidly as his brush glided over her flesh. She talked about her parents, about each other siblings and then even a little about her dating history. Which is pretty meek.

"All done with that arm." He sat back and a satisfied smile lifted his mouth. "You doing okay?"

"I'm fine, yes." She said.

"Then I'm going to work on your back next, if you'll turn around, please." He smiled and winked at her.

She obliged, but she stiffened when she felt his hands slide underneath her hair and gather it into his hands. She doesn't dare move, and there's a slight tug as he rummaged through a drawer. Then she felt him wrapping a rubber band around her long tresses to fasten them into a messy bun. She closed her eyes.

Why does the fact that he just put her hair up affect her so much—why does she immediately think about his fingers carding through her loose massaging her scalp, raking along the nape of her neck?

"Sorry," he whispered as if he could read her thoughts, "but I need your hair out of the way."

"It's okay. I should have thought to put it up for you," she said, shuddering when the brush mapped a cold trail down her spinal cord.

He laughed gently, and his breath ran over the skin, eliciting more shivers. "You're doing great, Katie."

"I'm trying," she whispered, screwing her eyes shut when the brush stops just above the cleft of her ass.

It's far more of a struggle to stand still as he painted her back, and it's a much slower process. She needed only look down at her completed arm to see the meticulous feather, and to comprehend how much effort the larger canvas of her back will take.

She's in the middle of a story about how her sister's cranky pet bunny almost bit her brother's finger off when her spine went rigid as the brush passed down her hip and back across her left buttcheck.

Oh god, he was right there.

"Relax," he whispered in her ear, reaching for her unpainted arm, and he gave her hand a squeeze. "Think about a calming place, if that helps. It usually works for me."

It does help, at least for a little while. She's able to forget about Peeta's hand hovering a few scant inches from her ass, but then the image of her family disappeared into a tall patch of grass, and Katie felt the warm sunshine kissing her skin. Something tickled her lower back, and she realized she was lying on a mossy carpet of green green grass.

When she looked up, her eyes meet brilliant eyes and not the sky, she realized Ned was looming over her, eyes bright, his golden hair was the amber rays of the sun. He gazed down at her, reverently murmuring how gorgeous she was and how much he wanted her, before his lips descend on her mouth and his naked body pressed against hers.

"You have the most beautiful smile." She jumped, his voice startling her out of her daydream "Oh god, I'm so sorry!" Her eyes flew open, and she sees that he's not even behind her at the moment. He's over by the collection of paints, searching for a different brush. "Your calming place must be pretty incredible if it can put a smile like that on your face," he continues, selecting a new brush and returning to his position behind her.

She bit down on her lower lip, biting so hard that a pulse of pain shot through it. She tried to temper her embarrassment—as if he could know that she was fantasizing him making love to her.

"Oh…um…yeah, I was thinking about my family," she supplied lamely. "I just got a little carried away, I guess. I don't live in my hometown anymore."

"Well, I like seeing you that happy." She felt the wet lap of the brush on the back of her thigh, and she shivered reflexively as he resumes painting. "You always have this serious expression on your face in class and—"

"Tanner always told me not to smile!" she said defensively, and he chuckled softly.

"I didn't mean it as an insult, Katie, just an observation. I'm not one of those guys who's going to tell you should smile more," he chuckled.

She pressed her lips together and fell silent. She doesn't dare think about a happy place again, so she let her eyes roam around Ned's room while she tried to find something to distract herself with. Her vision landed on a photograph on a shelf above Ned's dresser, one that has to be him with the family he told her about.

Ned was wearing a football jersey.

"You played football?" she asked.

His laugh tickled her thigh. "Ah, yeah, in high school I did. I was a running back, so I'd catch the ball and run in the touchdowns. Does that surprise you?"

It doesn't, really. From what she's seen of his body, hidden beneath his clothes, she imagined he had quite the physique, but she supposed she never considered he interests beyond art. It was mostly what he talked about the other evening. She tensed when the brush ran over the sensitive flesh at the back of her knee, by far the most ticklish spot he's covered so far. He murmured an apology, and she again, trying not to fidget.

"We're about halfway done," he declared and appeared in front of her again. He swished the brush through a cup of water and dried it on a towel. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"I'm good, just keep going." She smiled.

He rubbed at his neck and then swiped his palm across his forehead. "Okay. Well, um, I'm going to start on your…front now." It's the first she's seen him flustered, and it brought a blush on her own cheeks. "Is it warm in here?"

She gave him a dry smile. "Not when you're completely naked."

He laughed. "Fair enough. This is to make it more equal."

Her blush spread when he began unbuttoning his flannel shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders, leaving him in a white tank top and doesn't say a word, just laid out his shirt on his bed. There's a noticeable change in the air as he stared at her breasts, and she struggled to regulate her breathing so he's not aware of just how frantically her heart was beating.

He issued a shy smile, and it seemed as if it takes the brush an hour to reach her left breast. The touch was a whisper initially until he applied more pressure and the intricate feathers he's creating began to veil her olive skin. She sucked in a breath when the brought the brush to her nipple, and her knees buckle when she cannot help but wonder what his tongue would feel like mimicking the motions of the bristles.

Tendrils of heat curled through her and she clenches her thighs in a vain attempt to keep her arousal from seeping out. She's not sure how much longer she's going to be able to keep it together. Ned occasionally stole glances at her from under a fringe of long eyelashes, and his irises were a few shades darker than they usually were.

But it's probably wishful thinking because his hand was perfectly steady as it flicked back and forth, dipping into the valley between her breasts. The coil in her belly constricts.

Was she really this turned on when it's only a paintbrush touching her? God, what would his hands feel like on her, molding her like she's clay instead of applying paint to her?

If only this were one of those stupid movies she sometimes watched late on Saturday night to help her get off…then he'd totally be tossing the brush aside and stripping off the rest of his clothes. Their bodies would be a muddled mess of paint and sweat when he took her right there on the tarp.

A fresh wave of damp heat rushed to the juncture of her thighs. She willed herself to think of the least sexy thing she can, and she made it her mission for the rest of the painting session not to look directly at him. And so as Ned strokes cover her breasts and her ribs and her stomach with more plumage, she focused on the volunteer work she's had to do at the nursing home over the summer.

It's enough to keep her fevered body in check and her mind off of the man presently between her legs because she's not sure what's wetter: the paint or her.

Ned reached her lower abdomen, and she felt her muscles automatically tighten. He must notice her tensing up, because he murmured, "Go back to that happy place. I'm getting close to finishing."

Oh, fuck. Those were the wrong choice of words, Ned, she thought to herself. His loaded comment and his warm breath contrasting with the chill of the wet brush inches from the insides of her thighs sent her spiraling back into erotic fantasyland. She had to stifle a whimper when she imagined him atop her again, pumping in and out of her, gasping her name.

She's thankful for the fact that so little of her skin was showing at this point, because she's sure her entire body was on fire, liquid heat oozing through her veins. Ned has yet to paint her face, but he's so focused on her upper thighs that he doesn't look up once, and the crimson she felt on her cheeks goes away when he made down to her shins.

After it felt like he spends an inordinate amount of time on her legs, exacerbated by her constant flinching (because who knew the tops of her feet could be that tickled). He straightened up and met her eyes, giving her a sheepish smile.

"Missed a spot," he gestured to her face. She could only nod numbly. He wiped off the brush he had been using and set it down to dry. "All that we have left is your face."

It turns out she was wrong about one thing. Having Ned Banks staring at her breasts and her ass and every other inch of her body was not nearly as unsettling as the way he looked at her when he started to paint her face.

She's acutely aware of each breath that he took, every blink of those long eyelashes, and the subtle tics of those tiny muscles at the corners of his mouth. He gazed at her in a way that both empowers her and terrifies her.

"You have really good skin," he murmured, and in spite of herself, she made a face.

That's what he's going to say after nearly forty minutes of silence, with this smoldering tension stifling the air?

"Uh, thanks." She whispered.

A couple of last flicks of his wrist, and he stepped back, set the brush down, and appraised her critically. His mouth twitched first, and then his cheeks lift, and his eyes met hers. "You look perfect," he marveled at her in awe. "Hold still, I'll get you a mirror, cause you can't move yet."

He moved across the room and disappeared, reappearing a moment later with a massive hand-held mirror that looked like something a beauty pageant contestant would use. She glanced at it dubiously when he held it up and chuckled.

She gasped at the image revealed in the mirror. She's never liked birds, and so to see her reflection looking so much like a menacing raven would be disconcerting it wasn't so remarkable. He has indeed completely transformed her. His attention to detail was exquisite, and it really did look as if she has feathers all over her body, the slender nose really does resemble a beak.

"Oh my god," she whispered. "It's beautiful."

"You look amazing," he praised, and she held her breath when he closed the distance between them and reaches for her, but she exhaled when he reached around hair from the rubber band. "I think it will work better down, and your back dried an hour ago."

He motioned for her to twist toward the light, and he grabbed a fancy camera from his dresser, fiddling with it for a moment, and then he took one of the sheets and large partition that he slides out from under his bed to fashion a makeshift backdrop. He walked her through several simple poses so he could capture her from a variety of angles.

It seems almost ridiculous how quickly he photographed her, given how long it took to paint her, but he set the camera back down and gave her a pleased smile. "This was great, Katie. I can't thank you enough."

"You did all the work," she replied, glancing down to stare at herself again.

"Every great artist needs inspiration. You inspired me," he said quietly. "You, um, probably want to get that stuff off of you by now. Follow me."

He led her into the small bathroom and opened a freestanding cabinet, pulling out two large towels. Then he opened the medicine cabinet, his broad frame blocking from her prying eyes. He closed the mirrored door and extended his hand to her. "I picked this up for you," he said, handing her a brand-new bottle of vanilla body wash and one of those lufas in a pale green color.

She stared down gives him a curious half-smile. "Um, thanks? But I could've brought my stuff."

He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled back. "I just…I only have my body wash, and it's kind of a guy smell so…"

"I like the way you smell," she murmured.

They stood in the small space, staring at each other, and his gaze dropped to her lips until finally he coughed and motioned to the shower. "Well, I'll let you get all that paint off and go open a bottle of wine while I start dinner, is that okay?"

"You said you weren't much of a wine drinker, so if you'd prefer a beer, that's fine with me," she said.

His eyes wandered to her mouth again, and she's thankful that the paint on face masked her disappointment when he stepped back and she realized that he's not going to kiss her. He gave her a warm smile and says, "I'm okay with either. I'll let you decide." He lifted his chin and nodded towards the shower. "I'll bring your clothes back in and leave them on the counter for you, okay?"

She nodded and smiled at him. "Thanks, for everything.

* * *

When she came out clean from the shower, Ned hadn't started dinner yet because he'd been distracted cleaning up after his painting project.

"Food is the last thing on my mind," she said walking toward him, glancing over his muscled arms as he stretched before her.

"Oh, yeah? You sure?" He asked.

His mouth quirked briefly, and she ignored the pounding in her ears as she seized the moment to tilt her chin up and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was quick, the pressure of her mouth on his cautious, but when his lips don't respond immediately, she drew back and moved away from him and tried to quell thoughts that ran through her.

Oh God, what did she just do?

There's a tug on her arm, and he spun her around to face him, and he cradled her face tenderly. "Why did you stop?" he asked, his husky voice just barely audible.

"I'm sorry, I-I…" She stuttered.

"Don't be sorry. Please, don't be sorry." He brushed his thumb along her jawbone, and she shuddered at the intimate caress. He slowly slanted his mouth towards hers in the way. "I have been wanting to do that all day, but I didn't want you to think that I had ulterior motives for having you here as my model."

"Do you? I mean…do you think about me like that when you draw me? Or did you, when you were painting me today?" She asked.

"It's all I think about," he confessed. "From the first time you dropped your robe, I've been completely mesmerized by you. It's a good thing I'm always seated behind an easel because the things I've been thinking while I'm studying you and drawing you…well, you have quite the effect on me, and anyone would be able to plainly see how much I want you." Her stomach was one massive knot of excitement and she embraced him. He sucked in a breath. "Katie..." His eyes seemed to darken instantaneously. "Are you sure?"

"Why don't we just order something in?" she whispered in between heated pecks. "Our time will be better spent in other ways." She arched a brow at him and smiled.

He grinned. "If you say so," he replied, dropping his mouth to briefly kiss her against before scooping her into his arms and carrying her to his bedroom.

* * *

It's nearly impossible to keep her mind blank on Tuesday when she arrived at the art class, and she's relieved that there was just one session left after today. It's a new feeling shedding her clothes in front of the rest of the room this morning because she knew Peeta was watching her, and now he knew her body so much more intimately than his other classmates.

He kept giving her private smiles, and she was wondering if he's getting turned on from staring at her naked body, and she'd really like nothing more than to get the hell out and to take Ned between the changing partition.

The color wheel poster was an afterthought now; Ned's mouth is a far more sensuous focal point, and it certainly keeps a healthy flush in her cheeks when she recalled the other evening in his bed. His tongue was as wet as his paintbrush, but nowhere near as cold, and he had indeed spent a tantalizing amount of time tracing her skin with open-mouthed kisses and slow, but enthusiastic licks, leaving her writhing and begging for release.

When he had settled between her legs and lapped at her, she had shattered again and again until he finally ceased arcing his tongue back and forth over her swollen center. Her vivid memories caused the hour to pass much faster than usual, and the next week went just as quickly.

Before she knew it, Tanner was beside her with the robe in hand. "You did a great job. Thank you so much for your professionalism these past two months." When she stepped around the partition after redressing, she catches Peeta's eye, and he gives her a subtle smile. "Oh, you might like to know." He placed a hand on her arm to stop her from leaving the pedestal. "Tomorrow evening the gallery that I co-own is having a showing of the students in the class will have their portraits of you on display." He must see her eyes widen in horror because he gave her a gentle smile. "If it makes you uncomfortable, that's fine. I just wanted to extend the invitation to you."

"Oh, I, um, thank you," she stammered. "I'll have to think about it."

Tanner cut his eyes towards the center of the room where Ned stood. "I know he'd love for you to come. He has several pieces in the show."

She blinks and stares at Cinna, and he gives another warm laugh. "It's hard to miss the way Ned looks at you. His drawings of you are so markedly different from the other students' work. Especially today's work."

"Oh, um…" She shook her head and felt the heat rising on her cheeks.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of. I think you two make a lovely couple," Tanner winked.

* * *

She's not exactly sure what one wears to an art gallery, and after much deliberation, she opted for a pair of skinny jeans and a clingy russet blue silk top. It's the only thing that she owned that's close to his favorite shade of blue.

The showing opened to the public at seven, and she planned to surprise Ned early, knowing he should be at his apartment by four, since his class on Friday's usually out a little early. She made a dinner reservation at an upscale little bistro not far from Tanner's gallery, and with one last glance in the mirror, she headed for her boyfriend's place.

She fidgeted when she rang the buzzer for his apartment, her stomach swooping inexplicably when she heard his voice crackled through the intercom. "It's me… Katie," she added hastily—because are they there yet, where he recognized her voice instantaneously?

This dating thing was new to her, and she liked Ned more than any guy she'd casually dated before. She wanted this to work. She didn't want to casually date him. She wanted to be his, and vice-versa.

He's already waiting for her in the doorway of his apartment, leaning against the doorway, his broad chest bare and his blond hair damp. He wore just a pair of shorts and the smile on his face was so wide that she quickened her pace down the hall and launched herself into his arms.

"This is a nice surprise," he murmured against the crook of her neck, walking her backward inside the apartment and slamming the door behind them. He gave her a glance and then held her at an arm's length. "You look incredible."

"And you look enticing," she teased, tugging at the waistband of his shorts. "Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Just got out of the shower," he replied. "My afternoon class was canceled so I went to the gym instead."

"Big plans tonight?" she asked casually, running her thumb along the elastic again. "Ah, no. Well, I have something for my class with Tanner, but I'll be around later if you want to…" he trailed off suggestively, quirking his lips at her.

"Ned, why didn't you tell me about the showing at Tanner's gallery?" She said it without any accusation in her tone, but his green eyes widened in shock, and he stepped back.

"Katie, I...how do you know about that?" He asked.

"Tanner told me." He dropped his eyes and rubbed at his jaw, and she can see him mentally composing a response, but the last thing she wanted was for him to think she was upset with him. "Babe, I'm not angry or anything. Please don't think that."

"I didn't think you'd want to go," he answered quickly. "I know how much you wanted your privacy, and how much you guard your personal details, and I just thought going to the gallery with the model from class on my arm, well, people would ask you questions, and I'd have to make introductions, and that would make you uncomfortable. I wanted to protect you. If I misjudged that, I'm sorry."

She felt her lips starting to tremble, her heart clenching with something she can't describe because that was how she probably would have reacted—before him. He knew her like an open book already. She closed the distance between them.

"Ned, the class is over now—for me, anyway. I'll never see any of those people again. None all of them, that is, but the only one matters to me." She wound her arms around his neck. "And I'd pretty much do anything he asks me to do."

"Oh?" he asked, clutching her hips and pulling her against him. She could feel him growing hard, and she moved her pelvis against his a little. "So you really will come with me?"

She doesn't bother to tamper down the tug beneath her navel at his unintentional double entendre. Instead, she splayed her palm over his abdomen, ghosting over her breastbone, and she rose on her toes to murmur, "If that's what you want."

He grinned as he nodded. "That's what I want." He lowered his lips to hers again, hovering just above them as he whispered, "Thank you." Then he claimed her mouth fully, against him. His tongue begged for entrance, and she parted her lips, welcoming him inside. He swallowed one of her moans when he palmed her ass and pushed her against erection. "You know what else I want?" he gasped between kisses.

"I have an idea, baby," she panted, another moan erupting from her as he dipped his mouth to ravage her neck. "I made…dinner reservations…I thought…oh, God…we could make a date of the evening."

He spun her around and she issued a tiny squeal when he unexpectedly reached down and gathers her into his arms. "That sounds wonderful. But do you have any objections to a slight change of plans?" He captured her lips again. "Because I want you so bad right now."

Her thighs clenched together, and she thought she mumbled her assent, but expectancy crests in her belly and the sudden thumping of her heart drowned out all words. He carried her swiftly into his bedroom and slammed the door with his foot.


	5. Police Officer AU

"Banks, my office, now," Captain Rick Payne shouted as he blew by his desk, the breeze rustling papers and knocking a file onto the floor.

Ned had to stop himself and groaned internally before picking up the discarded papers and setting them onto the mess that was his desktop, following his Captain into his office at the end of the hall. He knew this meeting was coming - his last partner Scott O'Neill had just abandoned him and accepted a position in the Major Crimes Unit, moving on to what the man had proudly claimed to be 'bigger and better things'.

It was only a matter of time before he was destined to get slated with the newest member of the force, a punishment for fucking up the paperwork in his last case.

"Sit down, Ned. You're making me anxious," Payne muttered as he flung his jacket over his chair and sat down with an audible exhale.

"Yes, sir," he replied and sat down into the uncomfortable plastic seat across from him.

"I've got a new partner for you, Banks. She's coming from the 99th precinct in Brooklyn. She was there for three years and comes highly recommended by the folks out there and from the academy." Flipping through the folder on his desk, Payne pulled out a page and looked it over before staring him down. "You aren't going to have any issues with a female partner, are you?"

"No, sir." He replied.

If Ned was being honest, he wasn't sure if he would or not. He'd never had a female partner before.

Was there even a difference? The Brooklyn streets had to be tough on any cop. It beat all the individuality out of a new cop. She probably wouldn't even look like a woman anyway - at least, that's what he'd found with most of the women in the ranks that he'd come into contact with over the years. Which weren't many.

Jesus, he needed to get out more.

"Good. I've got her on the roster to come in this afternoon for a tour," Payne explained. "Then she's with you on the schedule. Any questions - come talk to me, got it?"

"Yes, sir," he responded briskly and stood up, excusing himself and heading back to his desk.

Ned made a point to take a longer lunch than normal, knocking back a beer with the wing special he ordered at the diner down the street. He'd never been much of a drinker, but he figured it would probably help to have at least something to calm his frayed nerves after another night of restless sleep.

He was definitely getting tired of the nightmares that took over him every time he closed his eyes now. They'd been coming on for months, vivid and relentless, ever since he was lucky enough to catch on a case out that had ended with the victim dead and the killer hanging from the rafters of his family garage.

Ned had taken to drinking on occasion since then, sometimes to forget, other times because he needed to feel outside of his body, if only temporarily.

"Glad to see you're still alive," Rachel Miller greeted him as he walked back into the station, her place at the front desk as regular as clockwork.

"Yep. And still no progress on that case you wanted me to look in to," he replied lazily, removing his hat and coat and tucking them under his arm.

Glowering at him, the young woman shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Do you even hear yourself sometimes, Banks? How miserable you sound to be helping find missing people?" Rachel's accusation stuck with him and Ned looked at the floor, guilt, and bitterness pulsing through his veins.

"Look, Rachel, I have a lot of shit on my plate right now. There are so many cases open and half the team is gone with budget cuts - "

"Is that why you're drinking your lunch?" Rachel prodded and stepped until she's toe-to-toe with him, her small frame surprisingly intimidating as it forced him to take a step back.

"I had one drink with my lunch. Don't hold it over me like I'm an alcoholic or something," he scoffed and stepped around toward his desk. "I'll look at it again tomorrow, okay?" He conceded and pressed his fingers into his forehead.

"Good. Her name is Ruth Harrows. She went missing on the highway a month ago, heading towards town. I'll email you the details I've gotten from her family." Nodding, he waited to sit down at the desk sergeant scribbled something onto a post-it before handing it to him. "I'll be back in town on Friday. Have something for me, okay?"

"I'll try," he shrugged and headed back toward his desk, his gaze lowered as he tried not to look at the empty desks that surrounded him.

The team used to be comprised of sixteen members, all dedicated to working on open cases from the area that had to do with missing and suspected homicides. Now they were down to eight, cut in half by budget issues and plagued with poor statistics.

It was a bad time to be a cop in this town.

"Banks, come to my office when you have a moment," Payne shouted, breaking into his thoughts and snapping his head up at the sound.

He moved hastily toward his desk, setting down his coat before going toward the Captain's office. He froze as he stepped into the room. He wasn't alone like he'd expected and was caught off guard by the woman before him, her thick brown hair pulled back in a high ponytail and her matching eyes staring right through him.

When she stood up from the chair it's like the breath was knocked out of him, her arm extending as her expression remains neutral. Ned looked between her and the captain, confusion apparent.

"Katherine Clancy," she offered and Ned had to remember to close his mouth to stop from surely looking like a fish out of the water.

"Ned Banks. Are you here about a case?" He attempted, shaking her hand and trying to ignore the heat that flushed through him.

"Um, not quite," she turned to Payne with a frown on her lips, eyes averted from him. "Didn't you tell him?"

"Yes, of course, sweetheart," Payne said with a smile to her as he looked up from his computer and motioned to him and then her. "Clancy here is your new partner, Ned."

* * *

"So, how long have you been in the force?" The words were awkward on Ned's lips, canned and corny as he walked her through the lunch room. Ned hadn't realized that his captain meant he was giving his new partner the tour, but he guessed that was his own fault for not asking more direct questions.

"I graduated from the academy about four years ago and I was tossed around for a while in Brooklyn before I got the 99th precinct three years ago. Now I'm here," she stated evenly as he pointed out the supplies cabinet.

Despite the mundane sights he was showing her, she made a play of faux-impressed and it gave him hope that they would make this partner situation work. His last partner had been pretty great and they'd been together for nearly his entire ten years at the precinct.

"Is home around here for you then?" He paused at the water cooler and fill two cups, handing her one before leading her back to their desk stations.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm from Queens, so it's a little bit of a drive to go see my family." She explained.

He tried to force himself to not look her over then, instinct fighting against profiling as he realized she's likely a quiet, hard-working girl from the tattoo behind her ear. It was tucked away, out of sight and mind for anyone who was paying close attention to her. He couldn't quite tell what the tattoo was in passing either -dammit. He pressed his knuckle into his forehead and closed his eyes, shoving the assumptions away.

"Are you from around here? What's the place called, Grandview?" She asked, sipping at her water, her gaze running from his boots to the mess of hair on his head.

"Yeah, that's what the town's called. How did you know I'm from here?" He asked and leaned against the counter and tilted his head, a flash of surprise lilting through him. He definitely hadn't expected her to read him that quickly, but maybe he'd misread her.

"Same way I was top in my class," she rolled her eyes and stood up straight, turning to talk to him face to face. "You fit the macho I want to protect my town cop type. Look, if you've got issues with me being your partner because-"

"I don't, promise." He reassured her. "I've just had the same partner for a while and I'm pissed that he's gone."

And god was it true. Ever since Scott left for Major Crimes, Ned was pissed that he hadn't taken the promotion when it had been offered to him too.

"Banks, I'm not here to make friends, I just need to know that my partner has my back. I don't have time for the sexist bullshit," she huffed out a breath and looked around at the nearly empty office. "Sorry - I just, this only comes up every fucking time I meet new coworkers. Except for my last precinct, the nine-nine was great. The guys there were pretty cool. They had my back whenever I needed it."

He let her words sink in for a moment, understanding blooming within him as he realized the obvious fact that she was used to this treatment. It made him take a step back, his gaze searching hers but finding only resiliency.

"Don't look at me like that," she muttered and rolled her eyes, bringing him back to the present.

"Why don't we just - maybe - start fresh. Where I'm not a dick and where you don't have to explain yourself to me?" He offered and smiled, secretly pleased when she returned it. Reaching out his hand towards her he took her cup and set it down. "I'm Ned Banks, nice to meet you."

"I'm Katherine Clancy, but if we are ever not around work, you can call me Katie." She smiled back at him.

* * *

Friday rolled around quicker than expected, time flying as Ned and Katie go over the current cases and the backlog of reports that they need to file to get caught up. Though they are getting along well - surprisingly well, if Ned was being honest - she still hesitated every time he got too close, her body shifting away from his as though they were magnets naturally repelling each other.

He reminded himself not to take it personally, there were a million potential reasons why she was doing it, and she didn't owe him any of them. But still. It was noticeable to him and he had a small hope that one day he might be privy to know what made her tick.

Today wasn't that day though. He couldn't convince her to join him for lunch at the diner, some rule about being too cheap for take-out she said, so he headed out and grabbed the wing special, delving into his lunch as sports recaps play across the TV. Walking back though he was surprised to catch her exiting the sandwich shop across the street, her head down as she listened to whatever was playing on her headphones.

Crossing the street, he jogged up beside her and walked stride-for-stride until she stopped and looked up at him, the briefest flash of panic running across her face until recognition set in. He tucked that observation away for later, his tongue held tightly between his teeth to keep from making a smart remark.

"What are you doing?" She asked loudly, her music audible as she hastily pulled her earphones loose.

"I thought you said you didn't do take-out," he teased before starting to walk again, the precinct within sight.

"Oh," she sighed and he could practically hear the gears turning in her head as she tries to come up with an excuse.

"Don't worry, Clancy. I'm not mad or anything ridiculous, just trying to figure you out is all," he offered and held the door open for her to walk through. She mumbled a quick 'thanks' and pushed past the front desk completely ignoring the person who made him pull up short with a groan.

"Ned, how was your liquid lunch today?" Rachel greeted him bitterly, standing up straight as and turning to watch as Katie walked past him.

"Rachel, stop it." He muttered, sighing. "I have one beer with my wings. I'm not a damn alcoholic."

Before he knew it Katie was coming back over, cutting him off. "Hi - I don't think we've met, I'm Katherine Clancy, Banks' new partner," Katie interjected, stepping back into the lobby and measuring Rachel up. "Is there something you need from either of us?"

"Pleased to meet you. Rachel Miller. I work in Victim Services and as the desk sergeant. I regularly harass this one about cases that I want him to focus on," the woman reached out her hand to shake, her eyes skirting towards her quizzically.

"Ah. Got it. Is there a specific one you want us to look at?" She asked.

Ned said a small thank you to the gods as Miller turned attention fully towards Katie, his uselessness forgotten as he went over the case details with her. He hadn't expected her to step into the fray and definitely not to actually take this on so confidently, her quiet thoroughness apparent as she asked the questions he hadn't had the chance to even think about yet.

"I think I remember this one," she said softly. "My dad was telling me about it just after it happened. Can you give me a couple of days? I'll make some calls and see if there's anything I can dig up?"

"Definitely. I know Ned has most of the file information already in his email. I've been on him for more than a week now so I'm glad you're here to kick his ass into gear," Rachel added and they started to walk toward their desks.

Ned can't help but notice her mood has increased tenfold since their first interaction. When she turned to look at him then there was a genuine smile - one he had seen on her yet- and it softened her perpetually hard walls she'd put up.

He turned to her and shook his head, surprise evident as he looked at her. "You somehow got her not to scream at me. Thanks,"

"She works victim services. She has to deal with the victim's families. I think the least we can do is look into a case for her," she laughed, the sound was light and free and it echoed around inside of him in a way that made him pause. "But she's not that bad."

He followed behind her and sat heavily into his chair, tapping his password into the computer and swiveling away from her. God, he needed to clear his head and get his thoughts away from his partner.

* * *

Ned was starting to get worried about where his partner was when he'd gotten to work and sat at his desk before realizing Katie's chair was empty across from him. While the first hour he'd been willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, now he was pretty sure that she'd asked to be reassigned from him already and no one had told him.

He couldn't blame her, not really. She'd only been here for a few days and maybe she didn't like him as much as he kind of liked her already. She probably figured he was bound to screw up her career if she stuck around.

He was a mess. He had to figure his shit out or he was going to drown in it.

Turning his attention back to the computer screen he looked over the email Miller had sent for the Harrows case, determined to not be such a useless fool the next time he showed up in the lobby. It was literal blocks of paragraphs, some quotes but mostly referrals to people who the desk sergeant had talked to.

"Dammit," he muttered as he finished his first skim through.

The depth of work that had already been completed was substantial and he internally kicked himself for not looking at it sooner. Moving to the filing cabinet, he pulled out the folder with 'Harrows, R.' labeled across the tab and flipped through the summary notes that detective who caught the case must have completed during the initial report.

There wasn't much, but it helped to get a layout of the case so he had at least a basic understanding of what had happened, which hadn't been much that anyone knew of.

On January 29th, Ruth Harrows left her family home to, according to family members, travel to a friends house. She was known to have gotten a flat tire from the vehicle that was found on the side of the road, but only believed that she might've walked along the highway before she was likely picked up by a driver along the way. No one has seen or heard from Ruth since and her family has filed a missing person report as they do not believe this is a runaway situation.

He read the short entry twice, surprised at how much information it lacked. At least, he was surprised at first, and then he remembered just how much Detective Thomas hated collecting missing person reports for just another 'runaway girl'.

"Teen girls always going missing when they don't want their families to know what's going on in their lives. She'll turn up. They always do." The memory of his words frustrated Ned, the thinly veiled sexism more apparent now in the light of day.

Shutting the file with a snap, he turned back to the computer and pulled up the entire case file that kept the digital information that had already been collected. Confusion broke way to understanding when he checked the date stamps and found that his partner had been accessing the files remotely late into the evening on Friday, far past the end of their shift. She must have gone home and kept working, the dedication made him rethink her potentially asking to be re-assigned.

The phone on his desk broke through her thoughts as it rang out, the screen lighting with an unknown number. "Banks," he answered gruffly, his attention still half focused on the case file.

"Hey - it's Clancy. Sorry, I know I'm not there. My car broke down an hour out of town and I need to get it towed," she sighed into the line, her exasperation audible.

"Oh, okay. Do you need a lift?" The offer was past his lips before he could even think it through, his head shaking with the realization that driving out to get her was a little too eager, even for him.

"Really?" She asked. "I mean, yes, if you meant it that is."

"Yeah, of course, I do. Isn't that what partners are for?" He countered lightly and closed out of the files, getting up from my chair. "Where are you?"

* * *

Ned found Katie over an hour later, hiking towards town on the side of the highway, a backpack on her back and her hair tucked up on her head. Before swinging around to pick her up he watched her for a second in his rearview mirror, her hand waving off two cars that slowed to pick her up. The reality of it made his stomach turn, the fact that so many people use this as their main way to get up and down this highway strip and end up somewhere they'd never intended to go.

Pulling over in front of her, he stepped out of the car and lean against the door, eyes trained on her as she smiled slightly at him. "Why were you hiking? I told you I'd come to get you," he chastised as she opened the passenger door, joining him inside the vehicle as they both slammed their doors. "Are you crazy?"

"The tow came quicker than expected. I didn't want to just be standing on the side of the highway," she muttered as she tucked her pack at her feet.

"But still, you know how dangerous it is out here." He groaned. "I watched two cars try to pick you up while I was waiting to turn around - "

"I know, okay? I'm quite familiar with the risks of hitchhiking and wouldn't have gotten in the car. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'd take down most people in hand to hand combat." Her voice was tight when she looked at him then, eyes steeled.

"I believe you and I'm sure you'd do swimmingly with a 300-pound trucker," he muttered and shot her a joking look, hoping to lighten the mood. He caught the flicker of a smile before she huffed and sat back in her seat, staring out the front window. "What were you doing out this way anyway?"

A silence filled the car as he pulled back into traffic and he hoped that it won't last for the duration of the long drive ahead of them. He thankfully only had to wait a few minutes before she's digging through her bag and pulling out a stack of papers.

"I went to visit Ruth's family and check in with my dad." He watched as she shrugged out of the corner of his eye, her gaze intent as her hands flip through the pages in her lap.

"You went without me? Do you know how dangerous that is?" The anxiety pooled at the base of his spine and he was half ready to pull the car over, but he doesn't. He kept his eyes ahead and wait for her to respond.

"Yes. I figured it would be better if I went and tried to establish trust before bringing you out to meet them. I wanted to give them a chance to talk without them getting their guard up," she answered steadily.

He saw her reasoning. He did, but the move was fucking risky and he didn't want her thinking she had to go off on her own to start getting things done. Yeah, he was stressed, but he would have his partner's back. That's what partners were for.

"Are you pissed at me?" Her voice was low and when he glanced over at her.

"No. I just - I know I haven't really set a good precedent for my behavior so far but I'm your partner. You should tell me when you're doing this shit so I can have your back. The last thing you - "

"Please don't pretend like you actually two craps about me. We just met," she interjected with a groan, her head rolling toward him.

"I do, Clancy. It's my job to have your back. Just like it's yours to have mine. Didn't you just lay that down yesterday? Tell me you get that, at least?" He kept his eyes trained on her for longer than he should, the road secondary at that moment.

"I do." She said, nodding her head.

"Good. Now tell me what you learned when you were out playing cowboy," he broke the tension and let the issue slide, hoping that she at least understood that he wasn't trying to be an asshole.

"Ha, ha," she mocked before looking at the notes scribbled in her lap. "Well, partner, I actually didn't get that much out of the parents. They seemed pretty pissed that they even had to talk to me, but I got a weird vibe from the place I'd like to look into the boyfriend before I talk to them more."

"Will I be invited along on that one?" He prodded with a grin on his lips.

"Yes. I'm sorry," she groaned with a laugh, the change in mood sealed successfully.

He caught a glance of her tattoo again, behind her left ear. It was a pair of angel wings. He caught himself staring for too long, and so did she.

"What are you looking at?" She asked. "Is there something on my face?"

"No. Just your tattoo, I like it, the one behind your ear." He cleared his throat, turning back to focus on the road.

Her hand came to touch it, smiling. "Oh, thank you."

"Is there a meaning behind it?" He asked.

"The wings are for my mom because she died when I was a teenager. It's a long story and I really don't want to talk about it," she said, flipping

The rest of the drive back to the station was productive, Katie's critical eye giving surprising insight on the details of the case that she'd looked through on Friday night. When they pulled into the parking lot they already have a plan of action in place for their next steps, even down to who was going to collect the gas station footage from every place along the section of highway in question.

They work late into the night, surpassing their shift end time without question as they plowed through the video footage that came in from the various businesses along the route. The pizza they ordered was cold by the time they remembered to eat it, their attention so focused that he was surprised they even remembered to eat at all. When he finally called it quits his eyes were bloodshot and sore, his head starting to ache mildly as he leaned back in his chair and looked across the desk.

Katie was passed out cold, her head resting in her hand as she snored softly. He considered her for a moment, debating whether to wake her up or simply throw her jacket over her shoulders and head out. Then he remembered that she had no car and would likely need to find a way home, a chance at getting a taxi out this late slim.

"Clancy," he whispered across the desk, careful not to spook her. She doesn't move so he reached across the desk and touched her arm, squeezing it as he shook her light, her body bolting out of her chair so fast that it toppled onto the floor with a crash.

"Oh shit," she coughed and looked around her quickly, arms outstretched as though to make sure of where she was. The look that crossed over her face made his insides twist, the panic evolving into a careful mask in a way that he'd only seen a couple of times - usually on victims.

"Sorry, I didn't mean - " he started and paused when she interrupted.

"It's fine. I shouldn't have been asleep. That's my bad." Her hand grabbed her phone off the desk as she slowly stood up. When she saw the time she swore again, reaching for her coat. "We gotta be back here in like five hours, Ned."

"I know. Do you need a lift home?" He made sure to keep his distance as he pulled on his own coat, watching her for any signs of that look returning to her face.

"Dammit," she replied as though just remembering her car was in the shop. Looking up at him, she nodded and muttered a quick thank you before following him out into the lot.

* * *

They began to carpool to work until her car would be fixed. It was nice, at least for Ned. He didn't know if Katie liked it. She often was quiet, sipping whatever drink she brought in her thermos and scrolling through her phone.

Once they got to the office, they poured through half of the paperwork before either of them dared to break the silence, until Katie stood up with a burst of movement. "Hey, I need a minute of air," she whispered before disappearing through the front doors.

Twenty minutes passed before she came back to the office, her face flushed, hair askew and her eyes red-rimmed. He popped up from his chair before she could even think of what he was doing, his hand falling on her shoulder as he bent to meet her gaze. "What's going on?" He asked quietly, abandoning all the distance that they'd carefully built between them.

When she didn't shrink away from his touch he broke the rules and pull her into a hug, an old habit from his youth that always used to calm his brother down after around with his mother. She took it out on them when their father died.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a scene," she grumbled as she pulled away, slipping back into the chair and hiding her face in her hands.

"You don't have to apologize, but I wouldn't say no to a little background information so I didn't stick my foot in my mouth," he forced a short laugh as he tried to break the mood and lucked out when he saw a hint of a smile flash across her features.

"Ever since my mom died it's hard for me to go home. My dad still lives in the same house and it looks the same." She explained softly, not even raising her head as he went to sit back at his desk. "My dad gets lonely and works long hours at the hospital, so sometimes my brother and I try to go home and keep him company."

Her words slapped against his chest and left him winded, his body slow to ease back into his chair to sit across from her. He let the silence draw out, certain that she has more to say in this moment of confidence.

She doesn't disappoint.

"But it's so hard. I was with her when it happened. We were coming back from a movie and I was seventeen. We were talking about boys, something stupid that my boyfriend said to me and she was telling me about how she met my father for the millionth time. Apparently, my dad was a jerk and threw her slipper at her, and he'll still to this day say he only tossed it." She laughed, almost fully until she stopped. "One second we were laughing and the next some guy grabbed me and had a gun to my head. He said that if my mother didn't give him her purse he'd kill me, but he shot her in the head after she gave him the purse anyway." He watched as she took a moment to take a breather. "That's why I became a cop. I was feeling particularly angry about no one ever finding my mother's killer."

He listened to every word, drawn into the expressions on her face that shift from an aching sadness to a determination that burned the air around them.

She looked up at him with a huff, her hands rubbing up and down her arms as she leaned forward. "Look, I'm sorry to lay this all on you but you're right, you should probably know what you're dealing with. I'm kind of a mess, but I'm fine, you know?" She shook her head as she looked at him and the move was pure her, strength and humility and something else he can't quite put his finger on that endeared him nonetheless.

"Yikes, Clancy," he teased when she sat back in her chair, finally letting her shoulders relax.

The look she returned was a scowl and made him laugh, the heavy airlifting before he forced himself to remember the question he'd wanted to ask her. He was watching her for any defensiveness. It never came though, instead, she nodded and turned to look out the window and away from him.

"Since we're airing our dirtiest laundry, I guess I should share that my mom used to beat on me and my brother." He said, the lump in his throat returning. "Broke a couple of bones over the years until I got too big and spent most of my time outside the house. I'm not saying I know what you're feeling, but I understand some of it. I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me."

"Yeah, well, I've tried to get past it. That's why I got my tattoo," she sighed. "Okay. I bottle everything up and I'm a mess, but leave me alone. That's all you're getting from me. You drink your lunch, Ned." She shrugged and it's the most heartbreaking thing she could do.

Without thinking he pulled her hands in between his, his thumbs rubbing against her knuckles. "You're not a mess. You've just got history. It makes you a better cop," he stated solidly, his eyes burning into hers. She doesn't break away from his touch or his gaze and the heat sparked between them, her tongue anxiously sliding across her lips and drawing his line of sight down briefly until he tore it away. "Anyways. This file," he cleared his throat and pulled his hands back abruptly, cutting the tension with a snap as his stomach jumped.

"Did you find anything while I was out being a baby?" She sniffed and cleared her throat, leaning back in her chair with a half-empty report that he'd already reviewed.

"Yes, but I'll only tell you if you promise to let up on yourself and come have lunch with me today," he scolded lightly holding his notebook to his chest as he watched her shake her head and roll her eyes.

"Fine. Fine." She said, smiling, even laughing a little. "What did you find, Ned?"

"I found the boyfriend you wanted to talk to." Pausing, he leaned forward in his seat and pull out the pages that were particularly useful, sliding them across the table to her. "Ruth had a boyfriend, Liam Hudson, who saw her the day she went missing. He told Miller that she was upset about her family. There's probably more too, but there are notes here and here," he ran his hand down the page to where the handwritten scribbles are filling the borders of the page. "I can't read what they say because I suck at reading cursive, but - "

"That must be someone's cursive scribble. I can kind of read it because I used to work with my mom and when she was in a hurry she'd write notes like this. It says whoever had the case before thinks the family is hiding something. This one here - oh…" She sat up and turned the pages in the folder, running her finger along the edges. "Ruth has run away before. There's no file on it, but her brother told the last detective she's disappeared to Chicago twice. Why wouldn't the parent's file a report for that?" Her words are more clearly directed to the paper than to him, attention trained on every detail she read until she stopped and stood from her seat. She set the file down like a bomb. "We need to talk to the last detective. Do you know him?"

"Yeah, it's Thomas." He sighed. "He's probably in the weight room. He's always in there."

Gathering up the file, he followed her out into the hallway and down to the gym where Thomas was running on the treadmill. Katie glanced at him before edging through the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You think Ruth's family is involved in the drug trade, and you didn't think that would be worth telling us?" She shouted above the hum of the machine. He watched as Thomas slowed his pace until he can step on the edges of the machine, leaning on the railing.

"I have no proof, but yeah," the man huffed out and looked between them. "Is this your new partner, Banks?"

"Why do you think it's them?" He asked before stepping further into the room, the pages clutched tightly in his hand. "Do you have a problem with my partner, Thomas?" He accused and stood up straighter.

Katie groaned and steps between them. "He isn't saying that. Please don't get into a pissing match right now. Just tell us what you know and maybe it will help."

"Fine. But this doesn't leave this room-" Thomas said.

"You know we can't promise that," she groaned, her hand running over her brow.

"You do your best," Thomas said and paused, waiting for them to give in with brisk nods. "Ruth has been a runner since she was a kid. Usually comes back within the week though. This time they filed a report because she didn't come back - to the trail was already cold when they contacted us. That's not unusual around here, but the way they went about it was. Her family keeps to themselves, leaves town a lot and when they come back the place has a spike in medical incidents, particularly. When they reported Ruth missing they said she'd been gone since the day before, but it was actually the week before and they just didn't notice because they were gone. Why would they lie about something so critical?" He stepped off the machine and towered over Katie, his gaze trained on her and then Ned.

"Because they were hiding where they'd been," she whispered and he watched as she shifted on her feet, looking toward him as puzzlement crosses over her features.

"And this boyfriend Liam, he confirmed she went missing earlier?" He interjected when the conversation stalled.

"Yep. Even said he told her not to go but she claimed she needed to leave before her family got back. She was supposed to call him when she made it to the city but that never happened and he didn't want to file the report and get involved with the police because of her parents," Thomas held out his hand for the folder as he threw his towel over his shoulder.

Clenching the papers tightly in his grasp, he shook his head slightly. He couldn't give these back to him, they have to keep them with their report. He had to understand that. "Can we talk to him? Do you know where he is?" Ned asked before Thomas could reach again for the file.

"He's left. Haven't seen him since he talked to me a couple of weeks ago." Thomas shrugged and he groaned inwardly as Thomas grabbed the file in a moment of frustration, twisting it away from him. "Look, I want to help but I need to take another look at the file."

"Fine, just get back to us," Katie said and walked out frustratedly.

* * *

It's almost two weeks before Kaie and Ned's work into Ruth's disappearance gave them anything useful. When Ned got back to the office on Tuesday he was ready to delve into all the information that they'd collected separately over the weekend. He was not surprised to find Katie already at her desk, her gaze focused on her computer and a set of glasses on her face.

"When did you get those?" He asked as he sunk down before her, watching as she glanced up at him from her seat.

"Sorry - I've been here for a few hours and I ran out of contact solution. I was too lazy to run to the store yet," she replied as a flush crept up her cheeks and she looked at him over the top of the black frames, endearing in her embarrassment. "Do they look bad?"

"Hours?" He avoided giving her the compliment that's on the tip of his tongue, certain that maybe that wasn't the best thing for a partner to do. "They look fine."

"Yeah - I couldn't sleep so I came in to start going through some license plate data that Miller mentioned on my way in. I'm reviewing two dates - the one Liam gave Thomas and the one the family reported. I'm not seeing any results for the family date, but there are a few hits for Liam's. Do you want the details?"

"Definitely. I can start running the info if you can keep reviewing?" He offered and smiled when he saw her email in his inbox timed to five minutes ago.

The next few hours flew by as he started pulling reports on each of the vehicles that reported a hit during the day in question. There aren't many, but each of the reports comes back with mostly partial plates, the results from that list growing exponentially.

When they broke for lunch Katie surprised him by coming to the bar down the street with him, even joining in on the wing special. The conversation flowed easier here than it did over the weekend, the mood lighter now. She even flashed him a bright grin when he paid for their lunches, her hand lifting the last of her beer to her lips.

"Thanks for this, Ned," she added as they headed back down the street towards the station.

"Don't worry about it. Let's just hope - Rachel!" He stopped mid-sentence as the woman barreled out of the station, her head ducked low until she nearly ran into them.

"Oh, hi Katie… Ned, I'm in a hurry," she acknowledged them before skirting around them and heading down the street without another word.

"That's weird," he muttered and Katie shrugged as she chewed on her lip with a furrowed brow. "Let's get back to work then."

Once they were inside, they began to narrow down of the license plates coming up fruitless until they rethought the plan and reached out to the driver's who reported the instances of hitchhikers.

That was the break that they caught and had Katie jumping out of her chair as they used the speakerphone to connect with Driver 652.

"Look, I reported the hitchhiker 'cause I had to - I don't want any trouble." The man mumbled it into the line as he looked across the desk at Katie.

"Yes, we know. We appreciate you taking our call. We're actually following up on a specific case about a girl who disappeared that you may have reported. When you made the reports for that day, do you remember if you saw what type of cars may have interacted with the people who were hitchhiking?" Katie asked calmly, concentrating on her notes.

"I mean, yeah," the guy cleared his throat and finished talking. "I actually honked at one situation because it was this young girl getting in a car with this guy who was by himself. Tried to warn her, but I don't think she listened."

"Do you remember what the girl looked like?" He interjected, ready to cross-compare his account with what they had.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but from up on the rig they all look the same," he replied and he didn't miss the way he tried to shuffle off the question.

"Okay, but do you remember what type of car it was? What it looked like?" He tried again and watched as Katie closed her eyes hopefully. The driver doesn't disappoint.

"Yeah, sure do. It was a beige Camry, nice looking one too. The guy inside was definitely white if that helps. Looked to be a young guy." This was when Katie bolted from her chair, arms stretched above her head as she watched while he let the driver go.

"Everything about what he said matches," she said excitedly after he hung-up the line, coming over to stand in front of him with her face alight.

"Right? And I know there's a couple Camry's on those refined plate lists," he conferred and rested his hands on her shoulders. "I can feel it - we're going to find her." His arms were pulling her into his chest and a tight hug before he even realized it, her arms wrapping back around him without hesitation.

After a moment of recognition, they do finally pull away, smiling foolishly as they headed back to their desks. They ordered in Chinese for dinner and worked through the night, narrowing down the lists and going over the owner's profiles until they couldn't see anymore. Even then, they didn't head home and instead slip into the quiet room with the bed tucked in the back of the station.

The next day they charged back into the case until they narrowed it down to four suspects, the men all young and owning beige Camry's in the province with similar plates. He felt good - better than good - as they headed in to brief Captain Payne on their next steps.

"You're telling me you want to drive across the state to interview these people?" Payne groaned as he set down the paper, looking across his desk at them.

"Yes. It's not like we can call all their workplaces before we meet them - she was picked up on a Sunday and these guys all have 9-5 jobs so it's unlikely he missed work. Plus, if we call ahead and it's one of them, they'll know we're coming," Katie looked between them, her reasoning solid as her gaze landed on him.

"Fine. But try to keep the expenses low, no more than a two-star hotel and you two are sharing a room. Is there a problem with that?" Payne conceded after another moment.

Ned visibly watched Katie looked back at him, her face flushing as she shrugged and looked back at their captain. "No, sir. No problem."

"And fucking find this guy," Payne said as they walked out.

* * *

They left town the next day, heading first westward on the highway to start our trip in a town called Greenville, where the first suspect lived - a man by the name of Frank Reeves. The car ride went by in a blur of time, the road stretching out before them until day turns to night and they were having to find their way in the dark to the budget hotel they've managed to book.

The room they'd got was on the main level and had two queen beds - even though he'd tried to two kings, Katie insisted they share to cut corners on the budget like Captain Payne had requested them too. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but as he stood there watching while she sat on the ratty mattress Ned had to force himself to suck in some air before his brain fritzed out.

He doesn't know when it had happened, but Katie had snuck up on him. Finagled her way into his dreams and crept up on his waking thoughts until even just sitting here in the same room with her made his pulse race in an embarrassing way.

"Still okay with this?" She asked, breaking him from his thoughts of her. "I don't think Capt. would mind if you're uncomfortable sharing a room with me."

"Yeah - I'm fine. Sorry it was a long drive, I'm exhausted," he tried to cover but her telling smile gave away more than he wanted to think about so he hid himself away in the bathroom to take a cold shower and change until he could figure out how he was going to get through this next week sharing a room with her.

Frank was a dead end. Plain and simple.

They barely spend an hour with the guy before they realized he's a family man who rarely left town, especially on a Sunday. Plus his family could vouch for him - it was his son's birthday party the day Ruth went missing and they were having a family get-together. He couldn't have escaped for the time he would have needed, not by a long shot.

They needed to move on to the next stop which was almost a day away in Buffalo where they would find a man named Robert Yorgensen.

The drive wasn't long, despite the distance they covered - instead, it's the ferry ride and being stuck on the boat as it spread out their nearly fourteen-hour trip. Thankfully, Katie helped him pass the time with endless games of cards and eye-spy as they coasted along the shoreline.

When they finally do arrive in Buffalo, they headed straight for the hotel and collapsed into their beds without any prompting, exhaustion quickly coming over them after a day spent in transit.

The morning alarm came too early and they're slow to move, his eyes heavy as he watched Katie roll over in her bed, her gaze blinking as it ran up the length of his body until she caught him looking at her, cheeks flushing hotly.

"Sorry. Morning," she laughed and sat up to stretch, her loose shirt wrinkled as it lifted above her waistline. He tried to look away but can't and soon he had to roll onto his stomach until his body's morning glory calmed itself.

* * *

Katie and Ned's meeting with Yorgensen was longer than Tom's, but not by much. He took shifts on the ferry docks outside of his regular job and a quick call after the interview confirmed with his boss that he was on shift and accounted for the day Ruth went missing.

Frustration started to creep in as they returned to their hotel, his mood souring as the lack of sleep and the failed interviews started to get to him. Later tonight they'd catch another ferry towards Brighton and then drive onward to YorkTown, but for now, all he wanted to do was take a nap.

"Want me to go get us some dinner while you sleep?" Katie asked as she watched him fall onto the mattress, a groan escaping his chest as he curled into the pathetic excuse for a pillow.

"Aren't you tired?" he muffled, thinking back on the fact that they both only managed maybe twenty hours of sleep since they left Grandview.

"I don't sleep much at night usually," she offered, crouching down by the bedside and pulling the blanket over his shoulder to tuck him in. "I'll be fine."

"Then yes," he said sleepily, letting his eyes flutter closed. "Sacrifice yourself to get us some food. I'll eat anything. Just give me a couple of hours and I'll be human again, okay?"'

She laughed and her hand lingered on his shoulder before running into his hair. He snapped his eyes open to meet hers and she froze, slow to slip her fingers around the curve of his ear and onto the mattress between him.

"I didn't mean to… uh, um, I'll be back in a little bit with food," she whispered and pulled away before he can utter a thing, his body sparking at her contact.

The hotel door closing had him rolling onto his back and huffing out a breath, his pants uncomfortably tight until he released the belt and zipper before relieving himself in a frantic rush. Guilt slid through him after he tossed the tissue in the bin and looked over at the bed that Katie slept in. The sheets were askew and the pillow was still mimicking the press of her head.

He stared at it until the feeling went away and he had to tell himself that nothing can happen between them - they're partners, this wasn't what partners do. He wouldn't use his authority over her like that. They had a job to do and this would only make a mess of things.

A foolish, stupid mess of things.

* * *

"You have to admit, this is a really pretty way to spend the work week," Katie said as they hung over the banister of the ferry's deck, watching as the mountainous scenery passed us by.

"Yeah." Was all he could manage as he watched her smile out of the corner of his eyes, the beauty of the trip, and his company, definitely not lost on him.

"Do you think we're going to find her?" She asked after a while as the sun started to set in the distance. We're nearly in Brighton and it's about time to get in the car and start their marathon drive to Yorktown where Nicolas Grant lived.

"At this point, I'm not sure. I mean, finding the person who picked her up, it doesn't prove that they did anything malicious," he admitted quietly as they headed back to his car.

"You think maybe she ran?" Her voice sounded broken and when he slid into the seat beside her he caught the way her face was tight, as though she's just realizing that Ruth running was a real possibility.

"I mean, it's a possibility?" He didn't mean it to come off harshly but when she looked out the window and he could practically feel the hurt radiating off of her as the silence stretched.

They don't talk much as he steered the car off the ferry and onto the long stretch of highway before them. Though Yorktown was their destination, they stopped somewhere about three hours off the ferry at a small cabin motel that beckoned them as the clock twitches past midnight.

"I'm sorry sir, we only have king rooms left tonight." The man at the desk apologized, looking between them with a small smile.

He glanced over at Katie who shrugged, her attention firmly locked on the book she'd been reading since they started driving. "Yeah, okay. Any cots?" He asked.

When the man at the desk shook his head, he swore under his breath and put down his credit card, running through the options in his head.

"I'll sleep on the floor," he offered as we pour into the bedroom, the large windows spanning the whole expanse of the eastern wall that's filled with the dark sky outside.

"Don't be ridiculous, it's a king size bed. There's room enough for like five feet of space between us," she said on a sigh, dropping her bag in a chair near the window.

"Are you sure? I don't mind the floor," he tried again and while he knew he should definitely sleep on the floor, a part of him was also desperate no too. Her returning look burned his skin until it's his turn for the blush to creep up his neck and run across his cheeks.

"I'm going to shower. I feel gross," she laughed as she said it before closing the door between them. He stripped down and pulled on his sleep pants, turning to stare out the window as he heard the blast of the water turn on behind him. His body was on fire at the thought of sharing the bed, disregarding everything that he should be thinking about like the missing girl they're out here to find.

A small part of him, the bit that clawed its way out from all the shit and nightmares in his life, was convinced that they won't find Ruth, that she's already dead. But the hopeful part, the one that dragged him out of his benders and brought him to work every day, wanted desperately for that not the be true.

Turning away from the window he crossed to the cupboard and pull out the spare pillows, tossing them onto the mattress and returning to line them down the middle like a grade school kid sharing his bed for the first time. He was almost done with his masterpiece when Katie opened the bathroom door in only her shirt, bolting across the room to grab her bag before stopping and laughing at his creation.

"Are you kidding me right now, Banks?" She scoffed, pausing in the doorway.

The mantra repeated in his head over and over again - don't look at her legs, don't look at her legs - but he failed and when his eyes finally do slide up to meet hers, she's doing the same to him, her gaze creeping over his shoulders and arms before ending back matched up with his.

It's another drawn-out second before she slowly closed the bathroom door between them, the air in his lungs coming out of his in a whoosh and leaving him lightheaded as he crawled onto the bed alone, his skin on fire from the flare between them.

Tonight was going to be a challenge, he knew that now. There's no way to deny that there's something going on between them, something more than them just being partners in the field. No, everything that's happening with them was not good. They needed to be on top of their investigation, not each other.

With still a couple of days on this trip ahead of them, he turned onto his side and faced the window, determined to keep it together until they're home and - hopefully - closing this case.

* * *

He woke up with Katie talking to him, her legs tangled up in his as her palm rested on his cheek. Her thumb was sliding across his brow soothingly as she coaxed me back into the waking world and the confusion rolled through him and across his face until she smiled softly.

"I think you were having a bad dream," she whispered as her hand stilled its movements. "You were tossing around a lot."

"Sorry - I didn't mean to," he offered, his voice thick with sleep.

"Why are you apologizing? You can't control your dreams, Ned," she countered with a look. She wasn't pulling away and it helped to shake the misery that usually coursed through him after his nightmares.

It made him pause when he realized that they probably shouldn't be lying here like this - they're partners, not lovers - and this was bound to break rules across the book. But he shrugged it off because it felt good and because it's helping him, grounding him, to reality after another night of frazzled dreams.

"I woke you up," he sighed and she actually laughed, a bark that has her closing her eyes and turning away from him, but not moving too far away.

"I told you I don't sleep much," she said and paused, shrugging. "What do you dream about?"

The subject changed and caught him off guard. He cringed - he doesn't really want to talk about it but they've shared so much already, maybe it's time he shared this with her.

"Before you came on board I was working on a case. It was impossible from the start - a kid who'd gone missing after school in one of those classic 'didn't make it home from the school bus' scenarios. We found the guy after a week of looking but it was too late. He'd killed her and hung himself after. I was with the team that found her…" He shifted in the bed and pulled away slightly, the images coming back from his nightmares in a thick fog.

"Ned," Katie called to him again, her arm coming to wrap around his arm and moving closer to him.

"I couldn't save her," he whispered tightly, his eyes stinging behind closed lids.

"But you tried. And you keep trying to save people. That's admirable." He nodded but kept his lips shut, his words choked in his lungs as she sighed and looked up at the ceiling, lying on her back. "I don't think Ruth ran away, not this time. She always came back before. Why would she stay gone this time?"

His brain was slow to switch gears but it helped him recover from his own thoughts, bringing him back to the present and the case before them. He tried not to focus on the fact that he was having this conversation with his partner in bed, pretty much wrapped up in each other as though it's where they'd always been.

"I don't know, Katie. Maybe she just got tired of living the same life on repeat," he offered quietly, exhaustion running through him as his chin brushed against the crown of her head.

When she moved back, her eyes catching his in the low light. He was startled by the intensity there and the spark from earlier flares between them once more. He was certain she could hear the pulse beneath his skin, her own breathing hitching as her tongue wet her lips.

The room was silent, less their heavy breaths, as they looked at each other from their pillows. His body was screaming at him to pull her to him, to run his hands over every stretch of skin, but his brain was holding him still and reminding him that this wasn't the time. That she shouldn't be the girl he wrapped himself up in.

He could feel his body betraying his mind, of everything that was telling him not to and he closed his eyes as his lips captured hers, the moment over in a flash that left him burned and wanting more.

God, why had he done that?

Katie was my partner. He should respect that. He should know better.

"Ned," she said as he closed his eyes, her hand coming to wrap around his. Opening them again he could see the inward battle raging within her too, mirroring his and causing the corners of her lips to turn down.

It was just a kiss. One kiss. He could forget this happened and move past it. He knew he could.

"Let's just go back to sleep. Pretend that didn't happen," he mumbled after another drawn-out moment, his legs disentangling from hers and his hand squeezing back before letting go. Across from him, she closed her eyes tightly and chews her lip, her hand sliding out to catch his once more.

"I don't want to, Ned." Her eyes snapped open and the brown rims were intense as she reached out and dragged his head towards hers, mouths meeting in a hasty kiss that deepened quickly and left him breathless again. "Let's not pretend. But I do agree we should get some sleep since we have nearly ten hours of driving tomorrow."

Words failed him as she tucked her nose into his collar, her breaths light on his chest while his hands grappled across her spine. The contact, however risky it may be for their working relationship, soothes the ache in my soul from being alone for so long and he reveled in it more than he should.

Waking up the next day he was surprised to find himself alone in the bed, his arms spread out and reaching for a body that wasn't there. Part of him thought that maybe it was a dream, but the other part of him could still taste her on his lips and he knew it wasn't all in his head.

He got up and headed for the shower to work out his morning frustration, thankful for the fact that at least Katie wasn't here to see the evidence of what the memory of her did to him. Afterward, as he was pulling on his boots, Katie returned to the room with coffee and bagels in hand.

"Ready to hit the road, sleeping beauty?" She added brightly, setting down the food on the side table before standing in front of the expansive windows. The view from where he sat on the edge of the bed was breathtaking - and he was not only talking about the mountain range on the distance.

"Almost. Did you get any sleep last night?" He questioned as he grabbed at the breakfast she's brought.

"Some. Enough. I went for an early run and did some thinking while I was out." She said softly. "Do you think we'll get into town early enough to talk to him today?"

"Doubt it. It's a long drive," he said in between sips of his coffee.

* * *

Soon they're piling back into the car and heading down the highway, comfortable quiet surrounding them as she focused in on the case paperwork. Every so often she'd prod him with new questions, angles on how they'd approach the next two suspects. At the mention of her going alone to talk to Nicolas, the suspect in Yorktown, he nearly slammed on the breaks as his head swiveled towards her.

"Not a fucking chance, Clancy," he muttered, reverting to the use of her surname that now sounded foreign to him.

The look she shot over her shoulder was coupled with a shrug, her fingers paging through the paper and filling the columns with notes. "I figured maybe I could talk to him first since he seemed to hate women according to his social media. So I thought I'd get something honest out of him and we could go from there," she paused and turned toward him, gaze intense.

"Why can't we just approach him like we did the last two?" His mind was spinning with the reasons she's throwing out this risky idea, debating whether she's onto something that she wasn't telling him.

"We both know this one is different than the others," she explained. "The last two we had to check out, but Nicolas, there were so many more markers on him than the others. He's got hate spread throughout his public sphere and he lives alone… Tell me you see this the same way?"

"I do, but going it alone, that's not an option," he hissed as his hands slipped against the steering wheel, anxious sweat coating his palms at the thought.

"Fine. Heard. But I think we need to come up with a better plan than just showing up at his place," she countered and he nodded, conceding her point.

"Let's swing past his place tonight, check it out, then we'll work on a plan for the morning. Alright?" He pressed until she nodded her acceptance and returned her focus to the papers in her lap.

They arrived into Yorktown later than they hoped and the drive by Nicolas' apartment building was useless, the lights on the entire street dark as the night grew late. Katie tried but fails to hide her disappointment, picking at the food on her plate that they ordered into the room once they've settled in the hotel.

"We'll track him down tomorrow, Katie," he said when she still hadn't come out of her mood, moving about the room quietly before settling on her bed.

"I know. I think I'm going to try to get some real sleep tonight. Catch up, you know?" She replied quietly.

He watched as she pulled the covers up to her chin, a shadow passing over her features and reminding him that her demons were alive and well and that maybe this case was hurting her more than he realized.

"Katie," he started, wanting to give her something, anything, to ease her mind, but nothing came to him and her quiet look of resolve left his thoughts tangled up, useless and messy. "Sleep well," he said on an exhale before turning on the TV subtitles so she can get the rest she needed.

* * *

He woke up to the sound of the elevator beeping in the hallway, his body slow to sit up and realized the alarm never went off. It's then he noticed that Katie wasn't in her bed, nor anywhere else in the room, and the ominous feeling started to grow in his gut.

Looking to the table where they'd laid their gear the night before, it's not hard to see that her belt and gun were missing, her uniform shirt no longer hanging from the hanger over the doorway. Swearing under his breath he doesn't bother to shower before pulling on his uniform and boots, texting Katie's cell repeatedly as he cleared out the hotel room.

When she doesn't bother to reply he started to call her - over and over again until she started to send his calls straight to voicemail.

Thankfully, the car was still in the parking lot when he got there, sliding into the front seat and sticking the keys in the ignition. His hands make quick work of slipping the phone into navigation mode, the 'Find My Phone' function coming in handy as he logged in to Katie's account and narrowed down her location.

He was not surprised when he saw that she's already at Nicolas' workplace, a small community bank in the center of town. Squealing the wheels of the car in his haste, he headed out of the lot and blew through two lights to get there, parking haphazardly on the side of the road and stumbling through the front doors to the bank. Katie was nowhere to be seen but the place was full of tiny offices off the side of the lobby, all equipped with privacy glass.

"I'm looking for Nicolas Grant - is he working today?" He asked the first teller he saw, her eyes moving between his uniform and his face before her expression drops.

"He went to meet a client for lunch. Can I help you?" He shook his head and turned away, checking the app on his phone again. The dot told him she's still around here but he didn't see her anywhere and his heart was starting to race in his chest. "Do you know where he went? If he had anyone with him?"

"No, sir. Just said he was going out and he'd be back in an hour. Is something wrong?" Her voice faded away as he stepped back out into the street, looking around at the restaurants nearby.

Katie would want to meet him somewhere he'd be comfortable being himself, somewhere his inner asshole could come out.

"Jesus, Katie," he muttered as he headed towards the rundown bar at the end of the street. He was nearly at the entrance when an arm dragged him into an alley and up against the wall, a hand sliding over his mouth.

"Shh," she hissed, her eyes alight. "It's him, Ned."

He let out a breath as she released him, his eyes dropping down to notice that she's not in uniform but was dressed as though she were younger, still living on the poverty line. Frowning, he ran his hand up to her cheek and over her brow.

"Katie, this isn't the way we should do this," he muttered as she stepped back, eyes flying to the back door of the bar.

"I haven't done anything off-book. I had a conversation at a bar, that's it. But we need to see where he goes next. He's going to lead us to her," she added absently, stepping closer to the edge of the sidewalk and peaking around the edge of the building.

"You did it without me!" He yelled in a whispered. "You've left your partner out of the loop and if he is really the guy."

"He is." She muttered.

"If he is, then this was fucking dangerous. You can't just do this!" He said and reached for her shoulders, shaking her until her gaze slid back to him. "I was worried about you. What if he took you too?"

"That would never happen, Ned. I know how to take care of myself. But we do need to follow him. He's going to lead us to Ruth, I know it," her eyes were clear as she said it.

It's the first time I haven't thought she was being manic in her behavior. It was the first time I knew this wasn't just a half-baked idea that she was winging - she had a plan.

"I've parked the car up the road. Let's wait there," he sighed and lead her back up the road at a quickened pace, ducking into the vehicle to watch the front of the bar. "What do you know now that's convinced you?"

Shifting in her seat, she angled her head until she can see a clear line to the bar. "He approached me on his smoke break and I made up a story about how I needed to get back up to Grandview. He offered to buy me lunch and drive me, said he was up there almost every weekend anyway to go camping or something. I told him I would love to catch a lift as soon as possible and when I asked when he was leaving he said this afternoon but he had to stop and get his car first. I watched from the bathroom door as he slipped something in my drink…"

"Okay. Okay. You just ghosted on him then?" He tried and rubbed his eyes with his hands, watching as she keeps her gaze trained forward.

"I didn't know quite what to do after that," she admitted, finally looking at him. "Look, I know it was stupid but - "

"Katie-"

"No, hear me out - " She said.

"Katie - Look!" He said and motioned towards the bar where Nicolas was stepping into the street, his crisp suit coat bright in the sunlight. The adrenaline flooded through him when Katie froze in her seat, her sight locked on him. "I'm going to follow him on foot. He hasn't seen me yet."

He was out of the car in a snap, his jacket zipped up and his pace twenty feet behind Nicolas as he rounded the corner away from the bank. Nicolas doesn't even bother to look around him, walking at a blistering pace until he wound up at a storage facility a few blocks away, the kind with orange sliding doors and faux-house finishings.

Ned joined him in the lobby, listening as he explained to the man behind the desk that he's lost his keys to his locker. It doesn't take much for the man to give in, walking him out the front doors and down the lines of storage lockers until they're sliding open a car park.

He ducked his head back behind the wall as the attendant walked past him, seemingly unaware of everything around him. From where he stood he watched as Nicolas pulled his car out of the garage and sped off towards the front gate of the facility, dust filling the air around him.

He made it to the sidewalk out front, just as Katie pulled in and swung open the door toward him. "He's got his car," he said as he slid in beside her.

"I know, I saw," she replied before stomping her foot on the gas and speeding off after him.

They were a block behind him when he pulled into a driveway of a nondescript house, the outside well kept but the windows covered with tinfoil that set his nerves on edge. "My gun is in the trunk," Katie said after putting the car in park, eyes focused on the door to the house.

"We're going to do this by the book, Katie, okay?" He insisted as she chewed on her thumb distractedly. "Get your badge and jacket out of your bag and we'll do this properly, otherwise anything we need to use in court will be washed."

Nodding, she stepped out of the driver's seat and headed to the trunk, grabbing her things and sucking in air to calm herself down. He watched from the side of the car as she clipped her belt around her hips and looked to me, eyes determined. "Let's fucking find Ruth," she stated before leading the way to Nicolas' front door.

They knocked once, twice, and wait for him to answer. He doesn't disappoint, his tie askew and his white shirt stained near the waist as he kept the door half-closed.

"Nicolas Grant?" Ned questioned, hands on his hips as Katie shifted beside him.

"Who's asking?" The man asked.

He flashed his badge and when he moved to slam the door in their faces he shoved his boot in the frame and force himself inside. All of his training came to a head as his shoulder pushed the door open until he was falling forward, Nicolas having abandoned the attempt at closing them out.

Katie was after him like a shot, jumping past him and tackling him down to the ground in a mess of limbs in the hallway. Back on his feet, he stood frozen for a second before he saw the elbow coming for her temple, knocking her into submission as Nicolas rolled them until he's kneeling over her, his hands wrapped around her neck.

Ned moved before he could think, tackling him off of her as the blood burned inside of him. Nicolas was forced onto his face as he ripped his arm back to cuff him, shouting at him to shut up when really all he wanted to do was kill him for laying his hands on her. When the suspect finally subdued, arms held behind him and locked to the banister, he crawled back to where Katie was starting to come to, groaning at his feet.

"Katie," the name slipped out of him like a moan, his hands sliding across her face as she fought back tears with fear behind her eyes.

"I'm alright. The suspect is cuffed," she croaked and rolled to her side, her hand rubbing her temple. "Go find her, she's gotta be here somewhere."

He was hesitant to leave her here but she pushed him away, her body slowly getting to its knees as he headed up the staircase. Gun drawn, he searched room by room, each space tidy and unlived in with the furniture barely assembled.

After completing clearance on the upstairs level he headed down to the basement. He stumbled on the slick stairway, his body bumping down each step as his feet give out from under me. He was hurt, was all he was sure of as his leg twisted and a bone probably snapped. His vision blurred with sharp, blinding pain as the cold concrete crept into his body while he laid for a moment in stunned agony.

Dizzy, breathless, he looked around him at the dank basement walls, the smell of iron burning his senses until he saw the figure in the corner, curled in on itself.

"Ruth? Ruth Harrows?" It came out of him as a gasp, his hands desperately trying to pull his broken frame across the floor and to her side.

Once he was near her, his hands desperately tried to find a pulse. Ruth was cold to the touch and he knew while they found Nicolas, they were too late, too slow to save the girl they'd been looking for.

* * *

Ned woke up in the hospital, dazed and empty, to find his leg with careful pins running into the skin and a stabilizing device surrounding him. Katie was in the chair beside his bed, curled up in a ball with her hair covering her face.

The house of horrors came back to him in a wash of misery, Ruth's twisted body in his mind's eye as the pain cascaded through him. Something escaped from within him and Katie was roused from her sleep, eyes meeting his as his vision clouded with tears.

"We were too late," he whispered, watching as she nodded in return. His last case came crashing back and the tears fell down his cheek, the reminder that he was never a good enough cop resurfacing and dragging him under.

"She was gone for a long time," Katie confirmed as she came to his bedside, her fingers brushing between his, squeezing his palm. "We didn't force his hand. Ruth was already gone."

It didn't make him feel better, but the knowledge doesn't make him feel worse, either. He just felt numb, like he'd let Ruth down by not pursuing this case sooner. What if he had? Would Ruth be alive?

"How's your pain?" She asked as she ran a hand across his forehead, lingering on his brow. "You're warm."

"I don't - I feel…" It doesn't come out in words and she's quick to find the drug button and bring it to his grip.

"They said you could press this as you needed it," she said with a smile through her own tears, her breathing heavy with the weight of everything that's happened.

"I'm sorry I didn't do more." It broke out of him and Katie closed her eyes, her lips pressing into his as his chest constricted.

"Please don't carry this with you," she whispered, running her hands through his hair and down against his cheeks softly. "You didn't do this to her, Ned."

He tried to hear her, to listen, but the pain and hurt were too much and he pressed the medication button until he fell asleep again.

* * *

Ned was released from the hospital after almost a month, the drive back to Grandview from Yorktown quiet as Katie took him and his car back home in the last leg of their journey.

Though she'd had to return to work and close the case while he remained in the hospital, she'd come down nearly every weekend to keep him company as he worked through early surgeries and the first few rounds of rehab.

Since then, they've crossed a bridge that he didn't see them coming back from, their kissing no longer chaste and in the dead of night but in broad daylight and used for more than just comfort between them. Neither Katie nor Ned can rationalize denying themselves what was so clearly happening between them and they told their Captain when one afternoon he'd walked into Ned's hospital room with a half-wilted floral arrangement, the two of them reading together on his narrow bed.

"Does this mean I need to find new partners for you both?" Payne muttered after collapsing into a chair near the window.

"Well, seeing as I likely won't be returning to active duty for a long while, you'd have to do it anyways," he offered with a small smile, his fingers absently brushing across Katie's shoulder.

"Goddammit, Ned. You were one of my better guys and now you've gone and buggered up your leg and worse, fraternized with your partner…" He huffed and ran his hand through his wiry hair. "I'm going to have to bring in another new person and you know how much I hate new people," he groaned as Katie pouted, interjecting with her own protest. "Not you, Clancy. You're alright."

"Thanks, Payne. I'll take that as a high compliment from you," she replied with a sharp look and a soft laugh.

Arriving back into Grandview with Katie was nice, a good feeling for Ned, but when she doesn't bother to stop at his apartment, instead of pulling into the driveway in front of a small house and turned to look at him as she shut off the car.

"This isn't my place," he said with a small smile, watching her as she twisted her hands in her lap.

"I know. I made the executive decision to bring some of your things here for when you were discharged," she paused and looked out the front window, exhaling quickly. "I thought maybe you could stay with me until you're back on your feet. If that was okay with you?"

"Katie," he sighed and rubbing his leg forcefully, his chest tight.

"Hey, we can take it all back. I can take it back to your place, you don't have to say yes- god, it was presumptive of me and-"

"Katie, stop." He grabbed at her hand and pulled it into his lap, urging her to look up. When she did, the uncertainty behind her eyes crackled through him. "Thank you."

It settled between them and neither of them said a thing until she smiled, bright and blinding and everything to draw him forward until he was wrapped up in a hug, in her heart and soul.

He was a goner.


	6. Neighbor AU

**A/N: Two times Ned can think of one thing and one thing only, Katie Clancy… and her skirt. Slightly different from what actually happens, but Ned was just the babysitter for Jim and Mel for a while when Katie, Aaron, and Mack were young. No Lana or Emma or ghost talk in this one. Enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

Katie Clancy was wearing a skirt the first day Ned saw her again. She just so happened to be his new next-door neighbor and was one of the kids he babysat when he was in high school even if he was only a couple of years older than her, and fucking hell did she grow up.

The slam of a car door met his ears seconds after shutting down the push mower. His shoulders felt stiff beneath the early summer heat and he knew that freckles would now be covering them. He touched it gingerly cursing his aversion to sunscreen, knowing it would peel. Squinting and wiping the sweat through his hair, he looked next door toward the sound.

It took him a minute. First to realize who he was seeing and second, to not let his jaw fall to his sneakered feet. Okay, maybe not the full sixty seconds but he needed a moment to process things like slender ankles and curved calves, and lean smooth as silk tan thighs. They flexed as Katie walked and disappeared beneath the skirt of a yellow sundress as soft as a fading dandelion. Her hair was still as dark as ever, her eyes scowling beneath the heavy waves of it.

Katie was stunning. Her skin glowed. The neckline of the dress sloped gently across her chest and the tiniest straps Ned had ever seen were just a kiss over her slender shoulders.

He swallowed, trying to generate enough saliva to say hello, but his mouth went completely dry when she bent over retrieving something from the back seat of her Honda CRV. He'd never know what it was she was rummaging and reaching for because as she moved, her skirt did too. It moved up against the back of her tan legs, stopping just short of letting him know the color of her panties.

Somehow not knowing just made it worse. Now he was left to wonder. Were they white, black or even some other color?

God, how old was Katie now? Obviously, she was an adult, she was leasing the house next to him, but he had only been what, three years older than her? So that made her twenty-three now.

He watched as Katie picked up one foot and used it to rub behind her knee and the soft fabric shifted clinging to the perfect curve of her ass and his hands tightened into fists. Lust settled first, hot and heavy deep in his chest. But it was when she turned to him and smiled shyly, raising her tiny hand to wave that he realized he was a goner.

She called to him softly. "Hey, Ned! It's good to see you. Didn't know we were neighbors!"

It was like taking a fist to the belly.

Had she looked like this the last time he'd saw her?

"What a coincidence, right?" He said, stepping away from his mower. "I'm a little sweaty, so don't hug me, but it's nice to see you."

She laughed and stepped onto his lawn. "Your lawn is looking good," she said before glancing back to him. "You are too."

He had missed her and now realized that he wanted her. Maybe he always did.

* * *

Ned knew why Katie had moved back home. It was because she wanted to get away from her ex-boyfriend and because she'd missed her family. He was sitting on his front porch the day Katie had come running up the pathway with loud angry footsteps toward him.

"I hate him! I hate Toby so much, Ned." She sighed and sat down on his lap. "Will you make me feel better?"

They had only been dating for three weeks now, but he already knew everything he needed to know about Katie's douchebag ex-boyfriend Toby. He was controlling and had anger problems that finally scared her off enough to come home two months ago and sign a six-month lease on the house next to him.

She leaned into him and settled her back against his chest, a rush of frustrated air leaving her lips.

He kind of wanted to reach and grab his beer but figured this might not be the time to mention it. Katie was strung as tight as the bow he knew she could weld like a weapon. Naturally, it seemed like Toby was probably calling her non-stop again about something instead of leaving her alone. That would just be too easy. It seemed like nothing was ever in his girl's favor.

When she closed her brown eyes on a sigh he took a minute to study her. He would never get sick of looking at her. It had been his favorite past time since she'd come home two months ago. A scowl rested between her dark brows, and freckles peppered her wrinkled nose. Her messy hair laid heavy over one shoulder.

His fingers itched to tuck the strands he just knew would be soft behind her ear. Instead, he wound them around her waist and kissed her cheek. "I'll do whatever you need, babe. What's wrong?"

"He won't stop calling. Says something about me having one of his favorite paintbrushes. I told him I threw all of his stuff that I had in the trash and that just made it worse," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "Why won't he just leave me alone?"

"Because he knows how hot you look in this damn skirt," he said, glancing down at the jean skirt she was wearing.

"You are such an asshole," she groaned, smacking his chest lightly.

He took a minute to enjoy the warmth of her chest against his and her legs against his hips before looking over at her smile. "Well. You've got me. What are you going to do with me?"

She wrinkled her nose again and he quelled the urge to kiss it. "Well, you are my boyfriend now and finding a new one would be exhausting, so instead of kicking your ass… you owe me dinner and you have to swear on your life to never again mention my ex."

"You always want me to cook for you. Deal." He chuckled.

Smirking she patted his chest happily. "Damn straight. Let's go inside," she said, standing up, her skirt twirling with her.

He was not prepared for that skirt twirl. She was all tan legs and there was a freckle high on her right thigh. When she sat down again the fucking thing rode up so high from the side it looked like she had on nothing at all.

He was instantly hard beneath her leg and even though she talked to him about making dinner he had no fucking clue what he said back. While inside, her bare legs thighs brushed his and he could feel the heat of them through his jeans.

When she led the way to the dining room with the salad bowl, her ponytail swung and that fucking skirt bounced. She bent to drop her fork that she'd dropped and he caught a peek of her royal blue panties. He walked right into the table as he stared at her.

"You okay, babe?" SHe asked, turning around quickly.

"Yeah, just spaced out." He cursed and rubbed his leg and his hands shook as he sat down with the plate of steaks. He moved on to the plate in front of Katie's chair.

He thought good. The pain helped him focus so he didn't look at Katie's legs when like always she stretched out and crossed her ankles under the table. Was she trying to fucking kill him? By the time they finished dinner, he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

He'd gotten up and moved in the kitchen to pour a tall glass of water and drank it all down on the spot. He closed his eyes as the water cool and sweet soothed his dry mouth and throat. When he turned to set the glass down Katie had hoisted herself onto the counter and dug a cookie out of the jar they kept for bakery leftovers.

Jesus her thighs against the pale granite were perfect. Dusky and smooth and he was staring. He couldn't not.

He noticed she had gotten quiet and when he lifted his gaze from the hem of her skirt, her smile had turned into a smirk. She had caught him.

The air seemed to be sucked from the room but for some fucking reason, he still couldn't stop staring. He needed to say something. Joke. Be a smart ass and charming and make this less awkward. But he'd been so worked up all day he just couldn't find the words. For once he couldn't find the words.

She licked a crumb off her lip and his fingers curled into the counter. She took one hand and ran it down her hair, then her side until it settled on her skirt. He watched her fingers as they opened, grazed her skin, and settled on her knee. His breathing was harsh in his ears but he never looked away from where her hands met exposed skin.

He licked his lips. This time her fingers twitched. He looked at her big eyes desperate to believe the longing he saw there. Her chest was rising frantically. He had to make a decision. And at this point, there was only one that made sense.

Slowly he stepped closer until her knees met his stomach and her breath fanned his face. Taking a deep breath of his owns he brought his hands up and touched her cheek, then her hip. They had never been this close before, nothing besides a kiss goodbye. He searched her eyes before settling them at her waist. His nose brushed her hair and looking up at him she smiled shyly.

She leaned in to press her lips against his. Her lips were cool and soft, her cheeks beneath his thumbs intensely warm. He took his time. Her top lip, then her bottom. Together they shared sweet slow kisses bleeding into needier ones leaving their mouths slick and wet.

When she grazed his neck with her teeth he groaned, pressed against her once and then with hazy green eyes pulled back. She looked thoroughly pleased with her hair messed from his hands; her cheeks flushed pink, and a bright smile on her swollen mouth.

Grinning, he finally let himself kiss her again. "I have wanted to do that for such a long time."

Her smile deepened. "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah. We've only really kissed goodbye before," he said, smiling at her.

Laughing she kicked him in the ass with her heel before locking her legs around his hips tighter and her arms around his neck. "Wanna keep kissing?"

He ran his nose along her ear and whispered. "Always."

She pulled back and narrowed her eyes. "Was it really this skirt?"

He grinned and kissed her briefly, mumbling against her. "Yes, it was this skirt."

"Noted," she giggled.


	7. Childhood Crush AU

**A/N: In Their Little Family, Katie loved Ned forever before he finally returned her feelings. In this story, Ned loved Katie long before she loved him. Enjoy this childhood crush AU. It's so cute lol xx Mariah**

* * *

Ned had used up the last of his art supplies making a wetlands diorama a couple of weeks ago for the science block, and there just wasn't any money for more, not since his parents were forced to close their real estate office last year.

So as his teacher, Mrs. Trenton, went on about an exciting new project for their fifth-grade reading comprehension course, he worried about what he'd be forced to ask his mother to buy. She already complained constantly about the cost of Grandview's public school supply expenses was as much private school tuition, so the last thing he wanted to do was beg her for styrofoam balls and paint.

"Attention students!" Mrs. Trenton said, tapping her ruler against Devon Morrison's desk to quiet him. She started to walk between the rows of students, glaring at anyone who seemed remotely distracted. "As I was saying, your next assignment is a special project for which I'll allow you to work in pairs. I'll choose your partner."

A soft groan of dissent rolled throughout the class, but Mrs. Trenton continued undeterred. While she explained the guidelines, Ned's eyes wandered to the back of Katie Clancy's head. She recently started wearing her hair in a pony now that it was spring, and the dark brown strands against the stark white of her shirt were like flashing arrows demanding his full attention.

He was still focused on her when Mrs. Trenton repeated his name. He blinked, his eyes moving from the girl's ponytail to the rims of his teacher's glasses. "Let's see... who should you work with, Ned?" the older woman said.

He waited as the teacher slowly traced her pen down the page of her notebook where each student's name in the classroom was written down, and Ned was hoping he'd be paired up with either his friends Devon or Chris.

The teacher smiled as her pen stopped. "Your partner is Katherine Clancy," Mrs. Trenton said.

Katie Clancy.

His stomach lurched, eyes wide as saucers.

_No, no, no. Anyone but her._

Ned had a massive crush on Katie since kindergarten, but he'd gotten through the last five years without ever having to actually talk to her. That was fine by him until he could gather up the courage to tell her something worth saying. In the meantime, he was content to just smile shyly at her if their eyes happened to meet. She always smiled back. Sometimes she waved, but they had still never spoken to each other.

He fidgeted uneasily for the rest of the lecture, refusing to look over at her seat again. After class, he met up with his friends and listened as they grumbled about the project. He sneaked a glance toward Katie's direction and saw that she was taking her time talking to her friends in the hallway. And then Katie turned towards him. He wasn't paying much attention to what the other guys were saying now as he watched her walking his way.

"I have to go," he told the other boys as she approached him.

He met her halfway, right in front of the lockers by their classroom. Steeling himself for their first real interaction, he tried to smile as she clutched two books to her chest, but his heart was pounding too hard for him to manage one.

"Hey, Ned. Would you like to get started on the project today?" Katie asked, her eyes locked on his.

The project was to pick a few poems from the book they were reading in class and interpret the meaning and significance. He'd just been happy that it wouldn't cost anything, reading in front of the class, but that was before he realized he'd have to read with her.

He was terrible at that.

"Sure," he said, proud of himself for how easily that word passed his lips despite her intimidating presence before him. He was glad it was a Thursday, which meant he was supposed to walk home and his mom would be more like to say yes to him. "Wanna meet at the library after school?"

"I have to watch my little sister after school," she said with a head shake. "You can come to my house. My mom will drive us."

He gaped at her in amazement, loving that she didn't really ask him. It was just how he always imagined her, this quiet but commanding presence. "Yeah! That sounds good."

"I'll meet you on the front steps after school," she told him before walking past him.

He stood in a stupor until he realized he'd have to call home and tell his mother about this change of plans. That was enough to bring him back down. Since he had lunch the next period, he decided to head down to the office to borrow the phone. The school secretary, Ms. Summers, liked him well enough, so she probably wouldn't mind. He smiled big when he saw her at her desk.

"Can I use- I mean, may I use the phone?" he asked, correcting himself when he remembered how she chided him before for using the wrong word.

A pair of eyeglasses dangled around her neck by a strand of pearls, and she slipped them on, perching them on the tip of her nose. "Yes, you may, Ned."

He dialed his parents' phone number and listened anxiously as it rang, and when his mother answered with a brusque hello, he launched into an immediate explanation of why he called. He held the receiver tightly against his ear, flashing a plastered on a smile to Ms. Summers and hoping she couldn't hear his mother yelling at him on the other end of the line.

His mother's permission was a hard win, but after he got it. He thanked the secretary again and headed off to his next class. Minutes ticked by tortuously slow, and it was harder than ever to pay attention to the lessons and not the back of Katie's head as he waited for the end of the day. Then it was almost time, finally, to meet her on the steps.

Ned stood in front of the full-length mirror in the boys' restroom and carefully combed his hair. Once he was satisfied with his appearance, he rolled up the sleeves of his oxford shirt and hitched his backpack over his shoulder before heading out. Nervous was about the only word he could think of to describe how he felt, but it wasn't good enough. He was nervous and scared, but excited. He was looking forward to it more than anything but dreading it just as much. It was a confusing mix of emotions and he didn't know what to do with them.

She was already waiting outside by the time he made it to the front entrance, and he immediately recognized little Mackenzie Clancy standing next to Katie. He said hello to get their attention, and Katie quickly introduced Mackenzie, who ducked her head shyly and stayed glued to her sister's side. They waited in silence for Mrs. Clancy, and he kept thinking about things to say, but he always decided against actually saying them.

A red Jeep pulled alongside the curb a few minutes later, and Katie guided them toward it as she called over her shoulder that this was their ride. A pretty brunette woman in a light orange dress was behind the wheel, and Ned hesitated at the car door, not sure if he was supposed to sit in the back with Katie and Mackenzie or take the vacated front seat.

"Mom, this is Ned. The boy I was partnered with," Katie said as she slid over to make room for him. "We're working on a school project together."

"Hi, Ned. It's very nice to meet you," Mrs. Clancy called as he climbed inside, and then they were off to the Clancy's house on the other side of town.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." He whispered.

His mother used to mock these developments when they were being built, but he couldn't understand why. The neighborhood looked nice, with perfect rows of modestly sized homes and manicured lawns. Mrs. Clancy parked in front of a large yellow craftsman house in the middle of the neighborhood to drop them off, the car's engine was still running as she went over instructions with Katie.

"Your dad will be home in about a half an hour after he picks up Lana from daycare," Mrs. Clancy said. "I put some snacks in the fridge if you get hungry."

"Got it, mom. Don't worry," she said before shutting the car door. "See you later. Love you."

"Love you too girls. It was nice to meet you, Ned." Mrs. Clancy waved goodbye as she turned around and drove off, and Ned waited awkwardly for the Clancy girls to lead him inside.

"We can work in the living room," Katie announced as she walked toward the front door with her little sister in tow. "Do you have any homework, Mack?"

Mackenzie smiled widely and described her workbook assignments, and Katie listened to every word as she hung her bookbag on one of the wall hooks in the entryway. As they talked, Ned stepped further into the house, peering into the living room and taking it all in.

He wasn't sure what his mother was talking about, because the Clancy home was very nice and comfortable. There was even a fireplace with a big wooden mantel, and a small family photo was centered as the focal point. He inched closer for a better look.

It was a larger picture, and he guessed-based on the quality- that it was taken with the family's camera and not a professional's. But everyone looked so happy. Two proud parents with their three daughters all smiles as they stood in front of a beautiful backdrop featuring a lake and a small cabin.

Ned didn't have very many family photos hanging up in his house. As both girls came into the living room, Katie set Mackenzie up before she showed him to the kitchen and they both got themselves an orange soda from the fridge.

"My mom usually doesn't Mackenzie have these, so don't tell," Katie said, nudging his side a little with a smile. "My dad usually lets her have one when she's not home though."

That was when Ned realized that he was a little jealous of how peaceful and perfect everything here appeared to be.

"I won't," he said as he took a sip of his soda, following her back into the living room.

"Do you have a favorite poem?" She asked after they'd gotten situated and she spread some folders out on the ground.

He took a seat across from her and next to Mackenzie, who now smiled shyly at him before ducking her head again and getting back to work. Mack was adorable, probably no older than six or seven. He'd always wished he had a little sibling.

"Um, not really. I don't read much," he answered, scratching at his head and unknowingly ruining his carefully styled part. "Do you?" He knew the answer to that question. Every time he caught a glance of Katie, she likely had her nose tucked in a book.

Katie nodded. "I started to write some of my own this year," she said as turned the pages of her notebook before stopping on a page. "We could pick one of the more well known, longer ones," she said. "It'd probably make it easier."

His face was growing warm, and he hoped it wasn't turning red in embarrassment. Katie was a star student, but Ned most definitely was not. Of course, she'd know she had to make things "easier" just so he could keep up.

But the poems she picked, famous or not, were far from easy. At least for him. He stumbled over the sentences when it was his turn to read, and he scratched at his head again as he felt her watching him.

Diverged. The rest of the Robert Frost poem was hard enough, but this word tripped him up the most.

"It's okay," she told him. "Just sound them out."

He tried to take his time doing as she said but knowing she was right across from him and listening intently made it more difficult. He was always embarrassed by his reading ability and grades, but this was a hot shame that was catching in his throat and choking him as the words jumped around on the page, and he knew he was twisting them more as he spoke.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, forcing a shy smile when what he really wanted to do was cry. "I can be really stupid sometimes."

Her eyes narrowed as she studied him. "Don't say that, Ned," she said softly. "You're not stupid."

It was quiet until a booming voice rang out from the hallway, and then a large man opened the front door a few seconds later with another little girl in his arms. That must be Katie's father and youngest sister.

Her father had a big, kind smile, and longish-black hair that curled around his ears. He was carrying a large briefcase under one arm, and he noticed immediately that the man was dressed in navy blue hospital scrubs.

Both of Katie and Mackenzie turned around, excited to see their father and greeted him with a hug. The man hadn't gotten the chance to take his shoes of coat off, only set down the maybe three or four-year-old girl that had been in his arms who had come around to play with a bin of toys almost immediately. But the man didn't seem to mind, he eagerly hugged both of his daughters and pressed kisses to their heads.

"I didn't know you two were here yet, you're so quiet," her father laughed. "Look at you, sittin' down and doing your homework without me having to tell you. You're a couple of troublemakers for sure," he teased, then he turned his attention to Ned. "Who's this? A new member of your crew, Katiebug?"

"Daadd," Katie sighed and shook her head at the nickname as she came back around to sit by Ned. "Don't call me that." She started to scribble in the margins of her notebook.

"I'm Ned Banks, sir," he answered before Katie had the chance, and he reflexively extended his arm to shake the man's hand just like his father always taught him. Mr. Clancy seemed a bit surprised by the gesture, but he smiled as they shook.

"I'm Jim, Katie's father," the man said, laughing. "But I think you knew that by now." He winked. "So, is he your new boyfriend?" he asked Katie as he came to sit on the couch beside her, playfully nudging her with his elbow.

Ned froze up as Katie scowled back at her father without a response. Jim just barked in laughter as he looked at Mackenzie's workbook and then at what he and Katie were doing. "What are you two working on?"

"A project for school," she answered. "Hey, dad, what's your favorite poem?"

Her father paused thoughtfully before grabbing the poem book off the coffee table. "I've got lots of favorites. But this is a good one and my favorite by far." He cleared his throat before speaking again, this time reading the poem. "Roads go ever ever on, over rock and under a tree, by caves where never sun has shone, by streams that never find the sea."

"Oh, I've heard that one before!" She said and pulled the book over, tracing her finger down the page before glancing back at him with a laugh. "Dad, this is the poem from your and mom's wedding."

"Your mama's got a real fine taste," her father replied with a sweet smile on his face.

Katie turned her attention to Ned, smiling even bigger now. "I think that'd be a good one, Ned, don't you? It's long enough to be the only one we'd have to recite, and it's pretty easy to read."

He rubbed his chin, trying to cover his embarrassment. "Yeah, that does sound good."

"It's an easy poem," her father said. "Maybe you two can read it together at your wedding too."

Katie pulled another face, but Ned was laughing, too. Jim seemed to enjoy teasing her, and it was fun watching her get all riled up. Besides, anything was better than feeling bad and embarrassed. Katie's dad was a welcome distraction.

"You kids want anything to eat or drink?" her dad asked.

Both Katie and Mackenzie shook their heads, but Ned responded with a polite, "No, thank you, sir." His father always told him to call adults sir or ma'am, and to shake hands with a firm grip while looking them right in the eye.

"Sir again. Oh, I like this one, Katie." He stood up. "You best keep him around."

The man headed back the way he came with the youngest girl in tow, leaving Katie with another scowl on her face. "Don't mind him. He's always like that."

"He's really nice," he said with a shrug. "I like him."

She got right back to business after that, copying the poem into her notebook and dividing it up between them. He didn't miss that she was giving him the easiest lines to read, and he ran his hands through his hair, tugging gently in frustration.

"I'm sorry you got stuck with me, Katie," he sighed. "I promise I'll work hard so I don't bring down your grade." She was a straight-A student, after all, and she didn't deserve to be saddled with the kid who barely read better than an eight-year-old.

"You won't bring down my grade," she said with knitted brows. "You're just good at different things, like sports and making friends. I'm not really any good at that kind of stuff and I have like two friends."

He looked down at his paper then, fighting a smile because she knew he was good at sports. He didn't think she knew anything about him.

They worked for a solid hour, Katie showing him the best way to break up the few bigger words he had to recite. She had to move her chair beside him to see his notebook, and when she was right next to him, he ended up studying her instead of following along with the pencil as she wrote. He felt a pair of eyes on him and looked up to see Mackenzie watching them, a knowing smirk on her face.

"You want to stay for dinner, Ned?" Katie's father asked after coming in from the kitchen. "I'm making homemade pizza."

"Thanks, sir, but I better get going. My mom will be picking me up soon." Truth was, his mother told him he could find his own damn ride home, so that meant he had quite a trek to the other side of town. He wasn't about to admit that, though. Especially not to anyone in Katie's family.

"Why don't you wait in here until she comes," Jim said when he started gathering his things. "The weather's starting to turn, so it's getting chilly."

"Oh. Well, my mom is gonna meet me at the end of the block, since I didn't know your exact address." Ned was a far better liar than a reader, thinking quickly and never tripping up over the untruthful words.

"How about I drive you home and save her the trouble?" Jim said, peeking out the window on the front door and glancing at his watch. "You can call her now if she hasn't left yet. The landline is right over there."

That was a nice offer, one that hurt to refuse, but he couldn't call home after the mood his mother was in when he'd called this afternoon. "She probably left already, but thank you, sir."

"You're welcome back here any time, Ned," Jim said.

* * *

Katie made arrangements to meet him at the library another day, and he said goodbye to the family before heading out. He could still see them through the living room window once he was outside, and he watched them for a moment, envying the way they all smiled and laughed together, and then he started the long walk home.

After a week of working on it together, Ned felt good about their presentation. Both he and Katie put a lot of time into it, and he was up late every night practicing his parts until he was sure he had it all memorized correctly. The day before it was due, they agreed to meet outside the classroom during lunch to go over it again.

Mrs. Trenton even let them in so they could try it at the front of the classroom, one final practice in the real setting. Ned went first, saying his lines and what exactly they thought that meant. He finished smoothly and waited for Katie to pick up the next part, but she was staring out at the empty desks and tightly clutching her paper.

"Katie?"

"Sorry," she said before starting. Her beautiful voice, usually so strong and melodic, was quivering now as she spoke, and she stopped mid-sentence to take a deep breath. "I'm really nervous," she admitted. "I kind of hate talking in front of groups of people."

"It's okay," he told her. He'd been nervous too, knowing he couldn't really rely much on notes. "I'll be right here. Just look at me when you have to and we'll get through it."

She tried again, but her hands were visibly shaking as she gripped her notes. She stopped halfway through a sentence and dropped her head in shame, and he frowned as he watched her struggle.

"Maybe I can do all the talking," he told her, confident he'd find a way to do it all just so she wouldn't have to.

"Absolutely not," their teacher said a few moments later. "Each of you had to speak in front of the class. It's part of your grade. But you can help one another." Mrs. Trenton walked toward them, putting one hand on each of their shoulders. "You know, I thought you two would make great partners. Your individual strengths and weaknesses complement each other perfectly, so I have absolute faith this will work out."

They practiced again, but Katie was still having difficulty with the public speaking portion.

"Remember, just look at me any time you get too nervous," he reminded her.

When the room was filled with students and they were presenting for real, she did just that, stopping when she felt too flustered and turning to look at Ned, who gave her an encouraging smile while she gathered her composure.

It was quick, over before they knew it, and then the next pair were up. He whispered that she did great as they made their way back to their seat, and she thanked him, sighing with relief.

"Ned," she called after the bell rang. "Thanks for all your help," she told him, and he shrugged.

He stopped at the door and waited for her. "You helped me out way more," he said. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"We really do make a good team," she said.

He grinned back at her because they did make a good team.

"Maybe you can come over again sometime next week and we can do our homework together?" she asked.

Maybe they really could be friends.

"Yeah, I'd like that." He blinked in surprise, amazed by her offer.

* * *

Now that Katie and Ned were in middle school, they had completely different class schedules. Katie was on the advanced track and Ned was in some remedial and some average courses. But he met her at her locker between bells and always walked her to her classes, and they usually sat together at lunch. Except for one day in seventh grade, Katie wasn't at her locker in the afternoon and he waited for her at their usual lunch table but she never showed. Ned worriedly asked Hannah Downs, Katie's best friend who she usually brought to sit with him and see if she knew where Katie went.

"She wasn't feeling good," Hannah told him as she picked the crust off her sandwich. "She went to the nurse's office during gym."

"Oh," he said dejectedly, setting his tray down across from the other girl. Ned liked Hannah just fine, but she wasn't his closest friend. "Do you think she's really sick or something?"

"I think she'll be okay, Ned," Hannah added kindly to ease his mind.

He managed a smile in reply, and then they ate their lunches in complete silence.

It didn't bode well to him that she was sick when it was only the second week back to school. He didn't think Katie had ever missed school before or he would have known. Now she was probably worrying about falling behind in her classes, even though she was the smartest person he ever knew.

But knowing Katie, when the last bell rang for the day, he went to each of her afternoon classes to ask for the assignments, then he got on his bike and raced to her house. He didn't beat the bus, so Mackenzie was already home by the time he rode to the end of the cul-de-sac.

The fifth-grader was reading the newest Harry Potter book on the front steps, and Mackenzie flashed him a grin as he approached. "Hi, Ned!"

"Hey, Mack." He said, waving. "How's the book?"

"It's good. Hey, wanna race down the street? I bet you a dollar I can beat you." Any of Mackenzie's shyness melted away a long time ago, and now she was as exuberant and happy around him as she was with anyone else.

Last spring, she had finally mastered riding her bicycle without training wheels. Coupling that with this newfound fascination with betting meant that Ned lost lots of spare change to her since he couldn't bring himself to ever let her lose.

"Sorry, can't today. Maybe some other time." He said, walking up the steps to sit next to her. "Is Katie here?"

"Yeah, she's in her room. Mom said she came home early." Mackenzie said.

"Is she okay?" He asked

Mackenzie shrugged, going back to her book. "I don't know. She wouldn't let me in and my mom wouldn't say."

Now that was worrisome. Katie adored all of her sisters and would never shut them out. "I'm gonna go check on her," he said and stood up. "Maybe she'll let me in. I got her homework here."

Mackenzie flipped the page with a sigh. "Good luck. That might get you in."

Ned once told Katie that he was glad the family had a two-story home because it was a best friend tradition to crawl into one another's room through the window-something they've seen in countless movies and television shows- and he was great at climbing trees.

Katie was too, and she even managed to get into his room twice by scaling the back porch roof in his family's backyard. He got her to stop by pretending to be terrified she'd fall, but the truth was he was more scared that his mother would find out.

He went around to the tree by her bedroom window, tapping twice against the glass. He could see her lying on her side in bed, and she got up slowly, one arm folded against her belly as she moved. Katie made her way to the window with an unmistakable expression of annoyance, so Ned held up the assignments, hoping it'd persuade her to forgive him.

"Thanks," she said after opening the window and moved immediately push it back down, but he stuck his hand in to stop her.

"Hey, wait!" He said. "I'm worried about you. What's wrong?" She spun around and flopped back down on her bed, and he climbed through the window to follow her. "Katie?" he probed, taking a seat on the flat footboard. "Are you okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She muttered.

"Is it your stomach?" he asked.

"Go away, Ned," she sighed. "I don't want to tell you."

"C'mon," he said, trying to cover his hurt. "You know you can tell me anything."

"Well I can't tell you about this," she snapped. She rolled away from him, bringing her knees up to curl into the fetal position. "It's a girl thing."

"Is it that bad?" He didn't care how hard he pressed now. He was scared out of his mind. If anything ever happened to her, he didn't know what he'd do. "Katie?"

She buried her face with her pillow. "I got my period, Ned."

He barely heard her, and it took a minute to figure out what she meant. "Oh." She was quiet again, so he moved to sit next to her. "Does it really hurt that much?" he asked softly. They had a class about this kind of stuff the last week of sixth grade. He was no expert, but from what he remembered it sounded completely awful. "Not to be insensitive."

"Yes," she said through gritted teeth, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"What'd your mom say?" He asked.

"She's making me tea and getting me a heating pad," she said softly. "I'm fine, Ned. I just took some Advil, but this was terrible enough without you here." She continued to clutch her stomach, and Ned frowned before springing up into action.

"Hold tight," he told her, reaching to check his pocket to count the few dollars he had. "I'm gonna go to the store to get something."

"You don't have to do that, Ned," she said. "You'll be late to wrestling practice."

"Don't worry. I'll be back soon," He didn't listen to her protests as he climbed back out the window and down the tree.

Then he waved goodbye to Mackenzie as he hopped back on his bike and pedaled quickly toward the town square. Mr. Keeler was a crotchety old pharmacist who ran the town's only drugstore before Walgreens moved in. Ned felt bad for him, knowing how hard it was for a small business to go up against the big chains.

"Good afternoon, sir," he greeted him happily once inside. The man nodded hello as Ned propped his elbow on the counter and leaned in conspiringly. "What do you have for…girl pains?" he whispered.

"Vodka. But you're far too young for that yet," Mr. Keeler said, leaning on the counter.

"No," he said with a confused head shake. "I mean, you know, menstrual pains."

"Boy, if you've got menstrual pains, I'm calling the newspapers." Mr. Keeler chuckled.

"Not for me," he huffed. "They're for a friend."

"Ah," the man said with a knowing smile. "That little dark-haired girl that you're always running around the square with? Check aisle three, near the Tylenol. There is some Pamprin and Midol around there."

He thanked the man and then went in search of the medicine. There were multiple pain relievers, and it took a few minutes to find the shelf he needed. He looked back and forth between the two Mr. Keeler mentioned, not sure which one would be best. He picked the Midol because it cost 30 cents more, then made his way to the ice cream aisle and grabbed a pint of strawberry ice cream.

Katie's favorite. He knew that would be enough to maybe see her smile, even today.

Ned practically ran back to the counter, seeing it was almost the start of his wrestling practice.

"You know, it takes a real man to come out here to get things like this for his girl. Some guys two or three times your age won't do it." Mr. Keeler said. "You can have these on the house."

"Wow, thanks." Ned pocketed the money and took the bag from him. "But she's not really my girl, sir."

"Ah, I see. Well, have a good one, Ned." Mr. Keeler nodded.

"Thanks, Mr. Keeler. You too." He said.

He had to be to practice soon, so he hurried back over to her house to drop everything off, pedaling hard to make it there in record time. The ride left him winded, and he rolled his shoulders in exhaustion as he knocked his kickstand down to park his bike in their front yard.

Mackenzie must've gone inside, and Mr. Clancy still wasn't back from work yet, so he went back around to the tree by Katie's window, which was still open, waiting. He crawled through and sat down next to her on the bed, gently jostling her shoulder so she'd roll over to face him.

"Thanks, Ned," she said, taking the bag slowly. She looked inside and then burrowed her head under her pillow with a groan, and he wasn't sure if it was from pain, embarrassment or both.

He got back up to leave, telling her he'd see her later. He hated that she was so miserable, and he hoped the pills worked so she didn't have to feel like this every month from now on.

"Ned?" she called out as he had one leg thrown over the edge of her window. She spilled the bag out on her bedspread and picked up the ice cream. "Thanks for everything," she said sincerely. "Especially the ice cream."

"Any time," he told her.

Her face twisted in displeasure. "Yeah right," she scoffed.

He pulled his leg back in and brought both feet to the floor of her room. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh c'mon Ned," she sighed. "Everything's going to be different now that we're almost done with middle school and you know it."

"What's got to be different?" he asked with confusion.

She shook her head. "We're not going to be as close of friends anymore."

He scrutinized her for a long moment, wondering where she got a crazy idea like that. "We'll always be friends. As long as you want me to be your friend, Katie, I promise I will be here."

"You'll start hanging out with Devon and Chris more and pretty soon you'll forget about me. We're getting older, Ned." She explained. "That's how it always goes."

"You think I could forget about you?" He asked. "For those guys?"

"Things change," she shrugged. "It already started last year. When was the last time you came over and we hung out besides school?"

The clock was ticking, and he really had to be at practice soon. As much as he'd like to indulge her here, he had to go.

"We will always be friends, I promise." He turned back toward the window, but she grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around to face her again. "I'm sorry, but I really gotta go to prac-"

Her mouth was pressed against his, his eyes wide open and hers tightly screwed shut. Her lips were warm but dry, and that's the only conscious thought he had before she pulled back and it was over.

"Maybe you won't forget that, at least." She said before she scurried to her bed, where she curled up on her side, facing away from him.

He stared back at her in stunned silence until his eyes flitted to the clock. He had five minutes to get to practice and nearly stumbled out of the window and climbed down the tree in his daze. But he was grinning by the time he was back on his bike, and he felt like a bird in flight the whole ride to practice.

Every guy he tackled was light as a feather. Yes, he was definitely never going to forget that first kiss.

* * *

One thing that was for sure high school made things very different. But not that much. Katie and Ned were still friends, but that was it. Nothing more and nothing less. Even if Ned knew he wanted more, he didn't take the extra step to tell Katie just in case she didn't return his feelings.

"Liam is definitely the cutest," Alyssa Stewart said with a giggle, and the other girls (who were her friends) standing around her locker agreed.

"He's so tall and handsome," one sighed.

"I can't believe he's seventeen," another added. "Why can't he be in our grade?"

Ned didn't want to hear any of this, but his locker was right next to Alyssa's and he had to get the books for his afternoon classes. He couldn't remember which short novel they were starting today in English, and as he debated between three on the top shelf, the girls droned on and on about Liam the Great.

Liam Jones, the best looking guy in the school. Liam Jones, the star student who favored academic clubs over athletics and hung around Katie for most of the school day. Their fathers worked together at the hospital, and apparently, they met at a Christmas party when she was right before they started high school.

Katie had never mentioned him before because he was older and they never saw each other. But now they were all at the same school and Liam Jones, the most awesome guy in the world, always made it a point to acknowledge Katie whenever he noticed her. And that guy seemed to notice her a lot.

The bell was about to ring, so Ned grabbed all three of the paperbacks and slammed his locker shut. The girls were still deep in conversation as he started toward the stairwell, and he spun away from the unofficial Liam Jones fan club with an annoyed eye roll.

On his way to class, he just happened to look up right as Katie was walking into her advanced level pre-calculus math course. He raised his hand to wave, but her head was turned the other way. She was walking in the opposite direction and already garnering her full attention was none other than Liam Jones.

Ned had a rocky start to his high school career. He passed the placement tests to get on the normal track for mathematics by the time he was in high school, but he struggled with the other subjects, and it was embarrassing to be in the 'slow' English class and to get extra time for tests when others didn't.

He didn't make varsity as a freshman on the wrestling team, either, and that was something both his older brothers managed. His mother laughed when she found out. He hadn't cared much before if he'd made it, but now he wished he would have just so his mom wouldn't have another example to use against him.

Sometimes when things were really getting him down, he'd ride his bike to the Clancy's and ask Katie if she wanted to do their homework together. They weren't seeing each other as much these days-more his doing than hers- but there were times when he couldn't stay away. But working on their homework together meant watching Katie breeze through her complicated problem sets while Ned struggled with basic questions about geometry.

"You're really smart," Katie always insisted. "If you just got some extra help, you'd catch right up."

He wasn't so sure about that, and he knew she wouldn't understand why was so hard for him. She didn't have any struggles in school, and she was even on the earning college credits with her course load.

Liam Jones was, too.

They studied at the kitchen table one night during their sophomore year, Mackenzie beside them until Mr. Clancy came home from work. Everyone got up from the table and were in the kitchen now. Jim was one of his favorite people in the world. Even dead tired after his shift at the hospital and his scrubs sweat-stained, Jim still managed to be in a fantastic mood when he walked in the house and saw his family.

"Ned!" Mr. Clancy exclaimed like he just won the lottery. "Long time, no see. Where've you been, bud?"

"Around. I've been pretty busy," he replied with a stupid grin since no one ever seemed this happy to see him. "Working and the wrestling team."

"You need to stop by more," Jim chuckled and walked over to hug him slightly. "You'll help me in my battle against a houseful of women. Aiden is still too little."

There was no battle here, Ned knew that. Mr. Clancy adored his wife and daughters, but everyone seemed conditioned to make old jokes like that as if the world was as simple as X and Y. Katie's parents had had a fourth child not long ago, a boy.

Ned also knew he wouldn't be dropping in any more than he normally did. It was his belief that it was better to stay away and be missed than to stick around and become a burden.

It'd just about kill him if the father walked in and said something along the lines of, "Oh, you're here again?"

After homework was done and put away, Jim put steaks on the grill and both he and Katie's mother Melinda insisted Ned stay for dinner. They all sat around the table, eating steaks and a big house salad while discussing their days. Ned hadn't see Aiden since he was a baby, now he was almost six months old.

Jim brought up an upcoming camping trip he'd be taking with Katie. "You should come too, Ned," the father suggested.

Katie hadn't mentioned it to him before, probably knowing it wasn't really his thing. "Thanks, Mr. Clancy, but I'm not very woodsy. I've never even been camping before." He said.

"It'll be fun. You should definitely come now if you've never gone camping," Jim insisted. "We're going with my friend Adam and his son Liam."

Oh. Liam. That guy. Great.

"Come with us," Katie said. "It's always super fun. We go fishing and swimming and make camp for a few days. Everyone usually comes, but this year it's a little different. You can make s'mores for everyone." She flashed a rare smile, one that reminded him that she really was quite fond of him, even if she never admitted it out loud.

"Okay," he agreed. "Sounds like fun."

* * *

Ned was not good in the woods. He didn't like the bugs and he definitely didn't like Liam Jones, but he could tell Katie was happy he'd come along and that was enough to raise his spirits. Before the sunset, they found a clearing and set up camp before going fishing, where they caught several trout to lug back. Mr. Clancy and Mr. Jones cleaned the fish while the kids were in charge of building a fire.

Liam's matches were wet from fishing, so Katie offered him her flint that she'd brought along. Ned had a short but successful career as a boy scout back in early elementary school, and flint helped him earn his first badge. He knew he could be helpful here.

"I've wanted to join the Army since forever, but my parents talked me out of it. Now think I'm going to go into medicine like my dad," Liam said as he worked, directing his words toward Katie. "I just got into NYU for pre-med in the fall."

"Why?" Katie asked. "I thought you were thinking about teaching."

Liam shrugged as he struck the flint against the metal. "Money's a lot better in medicine, and there's a lot of prospects."

"I guess," she sighed, and Ned recognized that as her default disinterested response.

Liam was getting nowhere with making a fire, and it's because he was getting impatient. He asked to take over and earned a dirty look before the older boy acquiesced and handed over the flint. The trick was that there was no trick, it just couldn't be rushed. It took time to find just the right angle with just the right amount of force to strike the stone against the steel, and the sparks would come eventually.

Ned had a nice nest of tinder waiting once it was ignited, and that was another trick that wasn't really a trick at all. If there wasn't a proper foundation to retain a captured spark, it'd fizzle out quickly.

"Nice job," Liam said after he coaxed a small flame into a blaze. "Guess you're not so useless after all."

Liam's light-hearted tone took a lot of the sting out of those words. He even cracked a smile, joking, "Yeah, if I weren't here, you'd be eating redneck sushi for sure."

Liam laughed as Katie studied their interaction, her expression changing from curiosity to annoyance, which struck him as odd since he thought she'd be happy they got along. "Ned is not useless," she muttered with a glare.

But Ned hadn't been offended; he was a pretty good judge of when people were trying to be mean and when they were really just playing around. Liam didn't seem like a bad guy.

"I know that, Katie." Liam scoffed. "Calm down."

"I'm going for a walk," she announced, standing up. "Cook your own damn fish."

"What's your problem now?" Liam called out as she walked away. "Are you on your period or something?"

At first, she hadn't stopped walking but rose her middle finger at Liam after the last comment. She never answered before disappearing somewhere into the forest.

Ned frowned as he searched for some sign of her throughout the network of trees, but she was quick and light on her feet and he found none. He dusted off his dirty palms against the top of his jean-clad thighs. "I'm gonna go check up on her," he said.

"Don't go getting lost now," Liam said, and that one was a slight dig at his camping skills.

"Don't worry about me," Ned replied. "Can you keep the fire going?"

He can play this game, too. Liam nodded as he threw another small log in the flames as he took off in the direction he last saw Katie. He figured she was going back to the lake, and when he finally cleared the woods and spotted the old dock, he saw he was right. She was staring out over the water, her back toward him and her legs dangling over the side.

"You okay?" he asked as he sat next to her.

Her answer was a clipped, "I'm fine," which triggered a loud sigh on his part.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"Nothing," she insisted as she inched further away from him.

"Katie, if something's bothering you, just tell me so we can fix it." He said. "I don't like playing these games."

"It's not a game," she said.

"Okay, well, you don't seem fine. So when you're acting not fine but you say you're fine, I don't know what to believe." He replied.

Her jaw was clenched tight, a sure sign of mounting agitation. "I'm fine. Just a little annoyed."

"Why're you annoyed?" He asked.

"Because you and Liam are annoying. Can you leave me alone now?" She turned away from him and back toward the water, and his eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out what it was about them that got her in such a bad mood.

Then it dawned on him, and he hated the answer. Jealousy. She was jealous that he and Liam were getting along. She probably wanted the older boy all to herself without him hanging around.

"Can I remind you that you invited me here?" he snapped back. "If you wanted to be alone with Liam, you could have just told me that you wanted to date him."

"You think I wanted to be alone with Liam?" she parroted back, eyeing him like he was crazy. "I invited you because I never see you anymore. The days you could stop by after school, you don't, and on weekends you're with the guys. Now you're here and you'd rather spend the time with Liam even though he insulted you and-"

"Wait, what?" he cut her off. "That's what you think?"

"What else am I supposed to think?" She asked

He shook his head. "Katie, if I was around all the time, you'd just realize you don't want me around all the time."

"Stop that! Stop talking about yourself like that." She sighed, shaking her head. "And stop laughing when someone else does it, too. It's not funny and it's not true."

She always said stuff like this. The girl regularly referred to his mother as a witch and was forever trying to get him to stand up for himself. But it was easier to say it than to do it.

"I miss you," she confessed with a shrug. "And you don't miss me at all."

"Of course I miss you," he said softly. He could spend every moment of the rest of his life right next to her and never get tired of it, but it didn't once occur to him that she might want time with him, too. It always felt like too much to hope for. "You really want me to start coming around more?"

"Not if you really don't want to," she told him.

"I want to," he said quickly. Her features were finally starting to relax, and she kicked her feet in the water as she looked out over the lake again. He bumped his shoulder roughly with hers, and she bumped back, harder. "Hey!" he laughed. "Don't knock me into the water. I can't swim."

"You can't swim?" She asked.

He grinned. "Don't tell Liam."

"Don't worry about him," she said, standing and offering her hand to help him up. A part of him didn't want to let go of it as they walked back to the camp, but she disengaged first, hooking her thumbs into the front pockets of her jean shorts.

He wondered what Liam would think if he saw them hand-in-hand. The trip made him realize there wasn't anything but a friendship between the two now. While Katie's feelings were always a murky read, it seemed pretty obvious that Liam cared a great deal for her.

"Maybe next summer, we can come back here with my dad," she said on the way back. "We can teach you how to swim."

"Okay," he agreed.

"But we're not going to wait until next summer to hang out again, right?" She asked.

He smiled as she darted ahead of him. "You're subtle."

She spun around, coming to rest against the side of a thick tree trunk. "You're not," she said with a put-upon sigh.

"I'll make sure to leave you alone with Liam then later," he said, deciding to turn the tables.

It was said partly to shut her up and partly to gauge her reaction. But she only scowled in response, which was so typical that he didn't know what to make of it. "You know we're not like that, right? Me and Liam?"

"I do?" He asked

"Don't be a jerk," she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not. The idea of you and Liam isn't crazy. He likes you," he scoffed.

He really did know there wasn't anything more than friendship between them. Yet. But they were so incredibly similar to each other, right down to their dark good looks, that the possibility was far from far-fetched.

"Why do you care if he likes me?" she asked softly. "I don't."

His eyes roamed her face, not sure what he was searching for. It'd been nearly two years since that first kiss by her bedroom window, and there hadn't been any more since. She initiated that one. This time, it felt like his turn. She opened her mouth to say something, probably to ask why he was looking at her that way, but he stopped the words with a kiss, gently cradling her face in his hands as he leaned her up against the tree.

This kiss was better than the first one they'd shared (mostly because Ned wasn't some naive little twelve-year-old anymore) but it happened just as quickly and his mouth moved with hers in a way that felt innately right.

He held his breath; hers was a hot tickle against the Cupid's bow of his lip. Her skin was incredibly soft against his fingertips, and he could feel her racing pulse against the palm of his hand. He released her as he pulled away and slowly opened his eyes, but hers were still shut, her lips slightly puckered.

"I care, Katie," he whispered, moving his hand from the side of her neck to her cheek. "I've always cared."

She didn't really respond, and after a beat of silence, she opened her eyes. "We should talk later," she whispered and turned back in the direction of the camp.

At first, he didn't follow, but she waited for him to walk alongside her. They were quiet for the rest of the short walk, and they even held hands until they returned to camp. She walked over to her dad and found out the fish were all cleaned and cooked and ready to be eaten. After dinner, Ned got started on toasting marshmallows for the s'mores.

Katie sat next to him, closer than she normally did and enough to make his heart skip a beat. She took one of the s'mores and dug in. The gooey marshmallow was all over her face after the first bite.

"You look like a rabid dog," he teased, tugging on the end of her ponytail.

"Well, it's delicious," she shrugged and took another bite, leaning in for him to wrap his arm around her.

He glanced up to find Liam studying them, something unmistakable in his expression. So it was already starting.

* * *

"And Gabby's tits?" Devon groaned, sighing as if he was in the moment. "Man, you think they look good in her clothes, but you have no idea. They're even better. They're huge. They almost fill up my whole hand."

As usual, Ned was only half-listening to whatever nonsense Devon was going on about in the locker room. He was more focused on the laces of his wrestling shoes, hunching over to finish up the runner's knot with a double loop. His best friend hated to be ignored, so he kicked out Ned's propped up foot and then snapped back a strap on his singlet. Devon laughed loudly as he glared at him before he brought his foot back up onto the bench.

Unlike his lackey Chris, Ned didn't ask for more details or express his envy over whoever Devon was screwing. That seemed to only make the guy try harder. The stories were always a little more explicit- and that much less believable- whenever he was around. Devon continued to wax poetic about Gabby Roberts' nipples while Ned tried to get into the wrestling mindset.

"Nervous about going up against Bruno?" Chris asked him as they walked out to the gym a few minutes later.

"Not really," he shrugged.

"Maybe if you beat Bruno, that little mousey girl of yours will finally give you her v-card." Devon chuckled at his expense and it took everything in Ned not to punch him.

"My girlfriend has a name, you know," he muttered and stomped off. "And if I ever hear you talk about her like that again, you'll regret it."

"Aw, we hurt Romeo's feelings!" Devon laughed.

Ned needed to get his head into the game.

He didn't usually get nervous, especially about wrestling, and sure it was the first meet of the season, but he never got nervous. Even when he was constantly being compared to his brother- a freshman at Rockland this year and the state champion the year before- but this was supposed to be fun and he was determined to keep it that way. But he faltered the moment he stepped out into the gymnasium and onto the mat. While Bruno looked massive, despite being in Ned's weight class, it wasn't the size of his opponent that intimidated him.

It was the sight of Katie in the stands, her long hair loose, wearing a pair of reading glasses that always drove him crazy. She had a book in hand as she looked down across the floor, searching for him among the large group of wrestlers waiting along the bleachers. It was only a couple months into their senior year now, but she was so busy with her AP classes he was sure she wouldn't have time to come to any of his meets. Yet there she was, waving at him as soon as she spotted him in the crowd.

The last year and a half had been great with her. Katie and Ned had made their relationship official not long after the camping trip.

He waved back as his stomach bottomed out. Bruno was watching him now, too, and Ned's eyes darted anxiously from one to the other while everyone lined up.

Katie shut her book and crossed her arms over her knees, a sure sign that he had her full attention now.

He drew a deep breath as their names were called, and then he shook Bruno's hand with as much force as he could manage before the first whistle. Bruno was the top-ranked wrestler in the county, known best for his killer single leg takedown. That meant Ned had to play defense immediately, but he also knew exactly what was coming, so he drove his legs back as far as possible, landing on top of Bruno with an early opportunity to flatten him out.

His go-to move was the half nelson and as soon as Ned had Bruno in the correct position to maneuver him the way he needed to, he slipped his arm under Bruno's armpit to wrap his hand around the back of his neck. It was all happening fast, but the need to impress his girlfriend who was watching with a quick win made him formidable. He went for the pin as soon as he grabbed Bruno's wrist. The teen bucked back with all his strength, desperate to break the hold, but Bruno wasn't getting out of Ned's grasp.

His opponent was laid out in seconds and the victory whistle blew shortly after.

Usually, wrestling wasn't a sport that garnered much attention in their small town, where the large crowds and loud cheers were reserved for the basketball and football games. But the whoops and applause at his pretty flawless takedown made him feel like the star quarterback. He helped Bruno back up as Davon and Chris both bounded over to him, their hands poised for a high-five.

"That," Devon said with a feral grin, "Was. Incredible. You killed him!"

Bruno stalked off, and Ned knew he'd pay if they ever met on the mat again. He ignored his friends' outstretched hands and kept his eyes on Katie as he took a drink of his water, enjoying the smile she had playing on her lips until he had to turn around to sit in his seat.

Would Katie stay to talk to him after? Was she proud of him?

The rest of the competition was a sufficient distraction with the other wrestlers battling it out for multiple periods, a lot of gritty slams and hits passing the time. Bruno was sitting on the opposite side of the gym, his head down through every match. It was turning out to be a crazy day. Bruno's head was so messed up by his quick loss to Ned that he flubbed his other matches. Ned wrestled two more opponents, both in lighter weight classes, and they seemed as small as kindergartners as he brought them down.

He never looked back up into the stands because he didn't know if it would be better or worse if he saw that Katie left after his first match. He powered through the rest of the meet by convincing himself she was there and paying close attention to him. If that wasn't the case, he'd deal with those feelings later. Until then, he watched his teammates in their matches. Devon won and Chris had an off day and lost.

In the end, their high school was the winner in both varsity and JV, and Devon was still acting blood-thirsty as he went around congratulating or chiding the other wrestlers. Ned finally turned around, and an uncontrollable smile spread across his face at the sight of his girlfriend still sitting on the bleachers.

He waved her over, and she grabbed up her stuff and met him by the doors that hallway to the locker rooms. "You stayed the whole time?" he asked.

"It wasn't all that bad," Katie laughed, smiling at him as she approached. "If I can watch football with my dad, then I can watch this meet of sweaty guys tackling each other for you."

"You didn't have to stay the whole time, but thank you." He said, blushing a little. "I'm glad you did."

"Ned!" Devon called and he was heading in their direction, one arm draped over his girlfriend Gabby's shoulders while the other was up in the air again. "Great match today!"

Devon seemed damn insistent on a high-five, so Ned slapped his palm half-heartedly to shut him up. "Hey, Devon. Gabby." He said.

Gabby was looking particularly bored and didn't even return his hello. "I'm going to go wait in the car," Gabby said. She turned to Devon and sneered at the sweat dripping down his brow. "Hurry up in the shower, ok?"

Devon leered as his girlfriend walked away. "She likes it when I'm squeaky clean," Devon said to him when she was out of hearing distance. He raised his hand to his mouth, his tongue pressed into his cheek to mime an act Ned had to hear about every time they were in the locker room. "You for..."

Katie saw it, too, and to Ned's complete surprise, seemed to know what he was referring to. Her look transformed into disgust, and she crossed her arms in front of her chest as she stared him down. "Devon, there isn't enough soap in the world for you to be clean." She scoffed.

They shared a look of mutual hate as Devon backed away. "If you want to come out tonight to celebrate and get drunk, Gabby's got some hotter friends than mousey girl here who won't let you get past second base."

"I'll pass, thanks," He said.

"It's your blue balls, Banks," Devon said with a shrug as he met up with some other guys and immediately forgot about them, much to his relief.

"How can you hang out with morons like that?" She groaned. "I can't stand him."

"We've been friends since elementary school and they're on the team," he answered simply. "If you joined, I could drop them completely and only hang out with you."

"Yeah, that'll happen." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I could teach you all my moves," he winked, smiling at her.

"Tempting, but I don't think I'd get very far." She shook her head.

"I don't know," he said slowly, considering it. "I'm sure you could flatten a few guys with your scowl alone. Yes, that one right there. That's a surefire takedown. Thank you for demonstrating."

She was fighting it, but her mouth quirked up into a smile. "Ned?" she asked, averting her gaze. "If you're sure you don't want to hang out with Devon and Gabby's hot friends...want to come over tonight?"

"Yeah, definitely." He said, his face breaking out into a mirroring smile. "You sure you don't have too much homework to do?"

She slung her bag over her shoulder. "I'm sure. Come by around nine, okay?" She pressed a kiss to his cheek and waved as she walked away.

* * *

Ned showered and changed in record time, then raced home in his beat-up car where he raced to finish any chore imaginable to appease his parents. They went to bed at quarter to nine, and Ned snuck out his window and drove over to Katie's. The Clancy house looked dark when he parked by the curb and he walked straight up to the door, which was unlocked and let himself in.

"Katie?" He called out, closing the door and locking it.

"Hey," she smiled, coming out of the living room to hug him. She was in a comfy pair of leggings and a tank top. "I have a couple of movies set out for us to watch, but I kind of had other ideas instead."

She saved him the embarrassment of standing there befuddled by grabbing the front of his shirt and pressing her lips on his in a feverish kiss. He stumbled back toward the stairs, his hands gripping the top of the railing as he tried to gain his footing. He let go and his hands touched her and her bare skin felt like silk against his palms, which he slid down to the small of her back. It was a mixture of disappointment and relief to feel the soft cotton of her tank top bunched in his fists.

"Katie," he said, breaking the kiss and struggling to see her in the darkened foyer. The only hint of light was from the fireplace which was dimly lit in the living room, so his sight was limited to the curved shadows against her face as she stepped away from him. "What's going on?"

"You don't want to?" she panted. "I thought you wanted to?"

He reached for her to pull her into another kiss because of course, he wanted to have sex with her. They didn't do things like near often enough, in his opinion. The last time they were pressed up against each other like this was less than a month ago when he insisted they watch the series premiere of a new tv show together in the newly finished basement. Katie had no interest in the show and kept wandering in and out of the room to get snacks.

Then something caught her attention and she sat next to him on the overstuffed couch, just as riveted as he was but even more confused since she missed half of the show. He teased her about it, refusing to answer her millions of questions and then the playful pushing turned into a hot makeout session as soon as she straddled him. The only thing that stopped them was Mackenzie jogging down the stairs with another bowl of popcorn.

They hadn't been quite that intimate since. They kissed a lot and he enjoyed their hugs, but that was it. That was enough until she was ready. He always hoped they'd get farther one day, though. Little milestones here and there, if he had his way. Tonight, she seemed more pliable than in the past, though she usually always initiated kisses, too. But there was a different urgency this time, and it didn't really hit him that she was super into it until he realized she was literally sliding her pants off to convince him.

He effortlessly lifted her up to speed it along, and they both made the same kind of strangled sound at the same time, but for different reasons. She was content to finally be where she wanted, and she wrapped her legs around his hips. He was trying to process that she was in her underwear. No shorts, no leggings, just a thin pair of lace underwear.

He moved toward the living room and brought toward the bed she'd made on the floor for them to watch movies on, never breaking the kiss. "Katie?" he asked tentatively when he finally came up for air. "This doesn't have anything to do with what Devon said earlier, right?" He moved to lay beside her, his arm still wrapped around her waist.

"Why'd you have to bring him up?" she sighed and turned away to lay beside him.

He brushed her hair off her shoulders and dropped several soft kisses along her clavicle as he moved back on top of her. He did just that, and when they were fully horizontal, he rephrased the question. "Is this because of what the dickwad said?" Her hair tickled against his chin as she shook her head, and she closed in to capture another kiss. "What's going on then?"

If she wasn't trying to prove something, or maybe even a little jealous of the idea of Ned with any of those hot girls, then he didn't understand why she was so aggressive tonight.

"I just liked watching you wrestle… you looked really good pining that guy down today," she quietly admitted. "It made me want to do this because I love you." She kissed him again, and he sighed happily against her mouth as his head dropped onto her pillow.

"Feel free to do that any time you want," he grinned, kissing her back eagerly, moving to nip at her neck and move over her shoulders. "You've got a lifelong pass."

"Maybe I should join wrestling," she giggled, climbing on top of him. She took his hands and lifted them above his head, holding them there. "See, I've already got you pinned."

"Joke's on you, I want to be pinned by you." He flipped them over then, smiling down at her as she struggled to get out from underneath him. "On second thought, you should leave the wrestling to me. You're not very good."

She was still trying to break his hold on her without any luck. "But I thought I'm scary," she scowled.

"No doubt about that," he laughed, rolling them over.

She stretched out alongside him, running her hands over the front of his shirt as her mouth found his again in the dark. She urged him to sit up, slipping the button up off his shoulders and throwing it somewhere on the floor. He was content to stay like that forever until she asked a few minutes later for him to take off the undershirt, too.

This was uncharted territory, her unabashed exploration of his bare skin. As her fingertips gently trailed along his rib cage and as much as he enjoyed it, all he could wonder about when he would get his turn. After several sweet, slow kisses, he opened his eyes and the vision of her bathed in the soft glow of the firelight, with her mussed hair and swollen lips was beyond anything his active imagination could ever conjure. It was a moment he wanted to remember forever.

"Like I said earlier… my parents and siblings are gone," she mumbled against his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck. "They wouldn't be home for another few hours. Do you want to…?"

He reached up to gently cup her breast through her tank top, and there wasn't enough blood around his brain to think about much beyond how desperate he was to see her naked. But he hesitated in slipping the straps off her shoulders, and when she didn't protest, he inched the tank top down until the neckline skimmed her nipples to dip right below her breasts.

He'd only seen one other girl topless before, during an end-of-year summer party last year at one of his friend's house. She had decided to skinny dip, and after a few laps in the pool, emerged from the water and sauntered over to them to carry on an entire conversation with Ned while he tried very hard to maintain eye contact. He thought he'd done a pretty good job of it, his eyes darting down only a few dozen times.

Thank god Katie hadn't gone to that party.

"You're not saying anything," she complained softly, almost hurrying to pull the straps of her top back up. "Is something wrong?"

"Wh-what?" he stuttered.

How did she expect him to form sentences now when she was so beautiful? He wondered if a part of her worried he was comparing her to someone else.

He hadn't been. Well, not really. When it came to Katie, there were never any comparisons. He didn't want her to ever think that. God, he didn't want to hurt her. This was all happening too quickly, he realized. He didn't want this to be some terrible mistake on the floor of her living room floor while her family was at her sister's swim meet. Not when they'd been together over a year. She deserved better and Ned was a romantic. He liked taking her on dates and making her feel good. He wanted to wait, and nothing he ever heard in the locker room or from his friends made him feel like that was normal.

"Can we slow down, just a little?" She asked before he even had the chance to say anything.

He nodded, not saying anything as she settled next to him, noticing her nipples were hard beneath the thin cotton of her top. They brushed against his chest as she curled around him, and he stifled a groan.

"You can touch me, Ned, if you want," she whispered in his ear then and he was following her lead, but he could tell she was losing a lot of her courage with every second of his hesitancy.

The absence of pressure worked to their benefit, though. It felt better now, less hurried when he touched her. He slipped the straps off her shoulders and explored her with featherlight caresses, his eyes drifting from her flushed skin to her face. He tried to gauge her reaction with every move. As his thumb brushed over her nipple as he cupped her breast, (which most definitely filled his hand), she moaned so softly that he wasn't sure if he imagined it or not.

He was gaining back some confidence just as her outstretched hand settled over the front of his jeans. She was rubbing the heel of her palm back and forth over him, and he didn't understand how it could feel so incredibly good, other than to attribute it all to her. Katie was touching him, and unless she sprouted wings and mandibles like a praying mantis, literally anything she did to him would feel incredible.

The rhythmic movements stopped, and he opened his eyes to find her chewing on her bottom lip between her teeth. "You're not going to tell anyone, right?" She asked, breathlessly. "I mean, you won't brag about this to Devon and the others in the locker room?" She clarified what she meant the best she could.

"You really think I'd do that?" He pulled back slightly.

"No," she said seriously, resting her hands on his shoulders to ease him back toward her. "I know you wouldn't, but I just wanted to hear you promise you won't. You know, the voice in the back of my head has doubts."

"I won't, Katie," he said, pulling her down for another soft kiss. "What happens between us...that's ours. I promise." Their noses bumped as she rested her forehead against his, and then her hand was snaking back down his body to stop at his zipper. "You know, it's okay if you want to see me naked," he said teasingly as she hesitated. "I don't mind."

She laughed, her hand drifting closer to the button of his jeans. "Yeah. I bet you don't."

They were kissing again, getting slightly lost in the perfect way their mouths fit together; when the soft hum of an engine filled the otherwise quiet room. There was a flash from the headlights outside as the car pulled into the driveway, and they both froze, panicked.

"Shit! My parents are back early," she said, jumping off the bed and grabbing up her leggings. She threw his shirts at him before tugging on her pants. "I'm so sorry. I swear I thought they'd be gone."

He laughed and quickly pulled his undershirt on. "It's fine. Don't even worry about it," he smirked. "Maybe it's fate saying we should wait until Prom."

"Ned, that's so cliche!" She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Hurry up! We have to get a movie on and make it look PG in here."

* * *

Two out of four of the Clancy women were thrilled about prom and everything involved with it. One was too little and Mackenzie was the holdout because she hadn't been asked yet and underclassmen couldn't go without a date.

"So are you going to give me any clues on your dress?" Ned asked her one afternoon.

Not long after the prom date was released, Katie went with her mother and Mackenzie to a small boutique out of town. They returned later that day with a black garment bag, and when he asked to see what she picked out, she said he'd see it later.

"What color is it?" he asked, hoping for some kind of clue.

"I'm not saying," Katie laughed. "You can see it on Prom night, okay?"

Now he really wanted to see it. "Well, how am I supposed to match my tie to your dress if I don't know the color?" He asked.

"Just get a black tie, Ned. Trust me," she said.

He went with Devon, Chris and a few other guys from the wrestling team to the tux shop, where he picked out a notch lapel coat, vest, and solid black tie. His choices were boring compared to his friends, who all picked bright accent colors to complement their dates. After the tuxedo was on order, he followed them to the florist. He knew she said she didn't want anything too fancy, but he was going to get something really nice anyway, as well as small bouquets for Mackenzie and Mrs. Clancy.

But the corsages there, all roses and ribbon, didn't appeal to him. He picked out some flowers but decided he'd come up with something else specifically for Katie that he'd know she'd like. He ended up making her corsage with a silver wristlet he found in her mother's shop. He sometimes helped with deliveries there with Katie. She wasn't into anything loud, or something that would draw a lot of attention, so he needed it to be dainty and understated.

But he had to know the coordinating colors if he was going to finish it correctly. He cornered Mackenzie in the kitchen one day, saying she had to help him out at least a tiny bit.

"Think of an apple," she said.

"You're the best," he told her.

It wasn't exactly specific, but it pointed him in the right direction. She was definitely wearing red or green.

He chose a few dime-sized silk flowers in various shades of red and pink and strung them and tiny dark green leaves together on a leather cord that reminded him of her favorite color. It took hours of work to put it all together, but he was pleased with how it turned out. He thought he had everything he needed.

Tux? Check.

Shoes? Check.

Most beautiful date in the world? Check.

Ned didn't think he was forgetting anything.

"Condoms," Devon said one day in the gym. "Dude, stock up. Learn from our fallen friend."

The teen motioned towards another teammate (who's girlfriend had a baby last semester), who was lifting weights across from them.

"Yeah, I'm probably not going to need those." He said and shook his head.

"You never know, man. It's best to be prepared," Devon clapped his shoulder and shrugged.

It was like living in a bizarro world, not just one where Devon was making sense, but one where there was a possibility he could actually be with Katie that way. On Prom night and at the after-party at Devon's parent's lake house would be the first time they were alone together since that night her parents came home early. She'd surprised him before, what if it happened again?

So the week before, he drove past the local drug store and pulled into the Walgreens parking lot. He'd run in and out, he reasoned. He was almost seventeen-years-old and it was the responsible thing to do. There was absolutely no reason to be embarrassed or nervous about a simple purchase.

His hand was hovering over a box of Trojans when he heard, "Ned?" It was Hannah, in her prom dress, grabbing bottles of water. "Real smooth." The girl laughed. "You on your way to Katie's?"

"I was just being safe," he shrugged.

"Never know what could happen," Hannah reasoned with a wink. "You should get the three pack. Just in case."

He grabbed the pack and paid as quickly as he could before racing over to the Clancy's and parking his car outside. As he checked his reflection in the rearview mirror and fixed his hair, he flashed back to years before, when he'd felt just as nervous doing the same thing because he was about to meet up with Katie on the school steps.

When he looked as polished as possible, he grabbed his keys and the box with her wristlet off the passenger seat. As he got out of the car, he bent over to grab the small bouquets for Melinda and Mackenzie. He started toward the front door and luckily someone saw him coming and he was able to give Mrs. Clancy her flowers.

"This is too sweet of you, Ned. Thank you," Melinda said as she let him inside.

Mackenzie fawned over the flowers he gave her next and he was about to say something to her when he caught a flash of color out of the corner of his eye.

He hadn't really given much thought to what Katie might look like in her dress. He knew she would look beautiful because she always did, but nothing could have prepared him for just how breathtaking she'd be. She was a vision in daring red, the dress was a floor-length strapless gown and he imagined it billowing outwards with many layers if she twirled.

"You look gorgeous," he told her, feeling like he could barely speak.

Her hair was pinned up with a fancy side bun, which showed off her long, graceful neck. The urge to kiss her there was almost overpowering, but he'd wait until they were alone for sure.

"You look handsome, too," she said and reached out for the box he was holding. She was definitely wondering what he got her when she told him she didn't want anything. "What's this?"

"Do you like it?" he asked hopefully as she held up the wristlet.

She slipped it on, then held out her hand to admire it. "It's perfect," she grinned and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Thank you."

Her parents wanted photos, and they took about a million of them standing in front of the fireplace and by the stairs.

"We really have to go," Ned said after another set of photos outside.

"He's right, mom. You took enough," she said, laughing a little.

"One more," her mom said and the camera flashed as her dad took yet another picture.

"Okay. That is the final one," she said as she walked over to them and hugged both of her parents. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have fun. Be safe," her dad said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "And I know you can take care of yourself, but Ned," he turned to him and shook his hand before hugging him. "Take care of her."

"I will, sir," he said with a smile as Katie took his hand and led him toward his car, calling out goodbye to her family over her shoulder.

They each had a bag packed for the lake house, neither expected home until sometime tomorrow. After prom parties were more anticipated than the prom itself; it was everyone's first taste of freedom, a teaspoonful of something they'd have in limitless supply a few months from now.

"I hope the food's good," she said on the drive to the banquet hall. "I've been poked at and prodded all day. I can barely breathe in this dress and I'm sweating, plus I didn't even get to eat that much."

"Beauty is pain," he teased. He reached over the gearshift and took her hand in his. "You really do look incredible."

"You're too kind," she said, squeezing his hand back.

* * *

The food was awesome, which put Katie in a good mood. As everyone at their table sat around talking, she kept playing with her corsage, turning it over in the examination of it and smiled as she discovered something new about it. "Where did you even find this?" she asked as her finger traced over the silver bracelet.

"I got the flowers from the shop myself and made it. The bracelet I wove the flowers around was from your mom's shop," he said smiling at her.

"You made this?" She asked.

"Well yeah. I didn't really like any of the ones at the florist. They didn't seem right for you," he explained.

She kept looking down at it then back up at him. She mouthed another thank you, then leaned in to softly kiss him. They were oblivious to anyone else around them, and he wondered if it was possible to actually be this happy.

"Want to dance with me?" he asked after.

She agreed, and he took her hand to lead her out to the dance floor. A Snow Patrol song was playing, and he held her close as they swayed to the music. "Chasing Cars" melted into Rascal Flatts "My Wish" but she didn't break away to go back to their table.

"This isn't so bad, huh?" he whispered in her ear, holding her hand against his chest as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"No," she replied. "It's not bad at all."

The slow songs were dispersed between dance hits, and he promised not to embarrass her too much if she stayed out on the floor with him. They laughed together until the prom king and queen were announced, and Gabby and Devon could barely look at each other as they ascended the stage because they'd broken up since putting their names in together for the ballot.

"Ready to get out of here?" he asked at around ten. Plenty of others already left, eager to begin the fun without any adult supervision. She agreed, wanting to take her heels off. "It's probably too cold to swim tonight," he said as he slipped his tuxedo jacket around her shoulders as they walked out to the car.

"Guess we'll just have to find something else to do," she said, throwing him an intriguing look as he helped her into the passenger seat.

From the moment she said that his imagination opened to endless possibilities, each one filthier than the last. It was a thirty-minute ride to the lake and he was painfully hard for most of it, but she was quiet and contemplative as he drove. He was dying to know what was going through her mind if it was anything like what was going through his.

Finally, the outside lights to Devon's parent's massive lake house came into view, and Ned parked behind a long line of cars as they discussed where to meet up in an hour. He wanted nothing more than to whisk her away to somewhere completely private, but they had to spend at least some time with their friends first. Devon sat on the front porch with Claire, his new girlfriend, in his lap. They said hello as they went past, leaving him to his throng of surrounders who were all vying for some attention from their high school's king.

Inside, Katie spotted Hannah and took off in her direction, and Ned found Chris and another guy friend Dave by the beer table. He twisted the cap off a Budweiser as he joined them, listening to the story about Gabby's fight with her prom date, a tenth grader. Chris said she was losing the breakup.

Someone tapped his shoulder sometime after a drunk guy sprinted around the house stark naked, and he turned around to find Katie. She pushed up on the tips of her toes and whispered, "Don't drink too much, okay?" she whispered this in his ear, winking at him before heading off again with Hannah next to her.

He lowered his beer as he watched her walk away. "I'll see you guys later," he said, deciding to go after her. He caught up with her outside of the kitchen, taking her by the hand and turning her around to face him. "Hi."

"Hey, you. Having fun?" She asked.

He really wasn't, but he told her he was. "A blast. Mind if I hang with you guys for a while?" he asked, addressing both her and Hannah.

"I'm actually on my way out right now," Hannah sighed. "My mom needs me at home."

The girl hugged them both and said goodbye, leaving them alone in the kitchen. There was loud music and all their classmates surrounding them, but neither seemed very interested in the scene.

"Has it been an hour yet?" she yelled out, trying to be heard over "SexyBack."

It'd been about thirty minutes.

"Not exactly, but let's go." He laughed.

She took his hand and they snuck out through the back of the house. He just wanted to be alone with her outside somewhere, the slight chill in the air be damned, but she led him back to his car.

"Did you know there are a bunch of cabins for rent around here?" she asked, going around to the driver's side and he tossed her the keys.

"I figured." He shrugged.

She pulled out onto the main road. "Did you know they're not as strict as, say, hotel rentals? They'll rent a room to you for cash, even if you don't turn 18 for another month."

"Katie-" he said.

"I just have to stop at the office and get our key," she said. "I already booked it."

He looked out of the window, trying to see the line of cabins in the dark as she sped past them. "Please tell me this isn't where you stayed with your parents-"

"What? No! That was in Burnsville and way out of state," she laughed and parked in front of a small brick building, turning in her seat to look at him. "Why? Having impure thoughts?"

"Good." He blew out a breath. "About you? Always."

"Good," she said now, echoing him. "I'll be right back."

He wanted to see what she had planned for the night, so he waited patiently as she went inside the manager's office. Another car pulled up next to them, and he vaguely recognized the kids as juniors from their school. The place must've been making a killing renting out to everyone who didn't want to sleep on the floor at Devon's.

Katie returned with their key a few minutes later, telling him they were in cabin twelve. Signs were posted everywhere to lead them in the right direction, and they pulled up to their destination a few short minutes later.

"Ready?" she asked him after a beat of silence.

"I think so," he said, reaching behind him to grab their bags. "You?"

She got out of the car without answering him, and he followed her along the short path to the front door. There wasn't much to the rental, especially compared to some of the luxury cabins along the lake. Katie looked a little disappointed in it on closer inspection, but he was intrigued.

"C'mon," he said, taking the key from her. "Let's go exploring."

The one-room bungalow didn't offer a lot. There was a king-sized bed, a small cart with a microwave and mini-fridge, and another door to what he hoped was a bathroom. The few pieces of furniture were all mismatched, and there was a musty smell that their noses still hadn't adjusted to.

"It's perfect," he declared, dropping their luggage to the floor.

"It doesn't look anything like the pictures online," she said disappointedly.

He sat down on the bed, lightly bouncing on the mattress to test its firmness. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel bad about her surprise. "The bed is great," he told her, trying to stay positive. "Not too hard, not too soft."

She slipped her shoes off and flopped down next to him. "Alright, Goldilocks, you can stop lying. This is kind of a dump."

"Never would have pegged you as a snob, Katie." He chuckled

"You don't have to pretend to like it," she said.

"Who's pretending? You know what my favorite thing about it is?" He asked, moving to lay back.

"What?" She sighed.

"That I get to stay here with you," he replied, smiling as he folded his arms behind his head.

She stretched out beside him, her smile as wide as his. "That's my favorite thing, too."

"You tired?" He asked.

She trailed her fingertip along the seam of his vest, stopping at the button. "No. You?"

"No. I'm up." That was the truest thing he ever said, and he wondered if she noticed how he tried to hide it from her.

He rolled onto his side, careful to keep a safe distance from her body. Now her hands had found his bare forearms, and she fiddled with the button of his dress shirt where he'd rolled it up to his elbows. He was glad she knew she had the freedom to touch him this way, but it certainly wasn't helping the current situation.

"Hey, Ned," she said, sitting back up. "Will you unzip my dress? I want to get out of it.

He never moved so fast in his life. She turned her back to him, her head dipped as she waited, and he slowly lowered it to the skirt, earning a peek at her strapless bra for his efforts. "Thank you." She held the loose top to her chest, probably trying to work up the nerve to slip it down. "You can take off your clothes too, you know."

He sat up, scrambling to unbutton the vest and collared shirt. The little old lady at the tuxedo shop had asked him very sweetly to be careful with everything, so he folded each piece as he removed it, placing the clothing on top of the nightstand.

She must have dropped his jacket on the floor when they came in, so he picked it up and laid it across the back of a nearby chair. "What?" he asked, noticing she was staring at him as he unbuckled his belt.

"You're taking everything off?" She was still clutching the bodice, and he was down to his undershorts.

He stopped, scratching his bare chest in embarrassment. "I thought you wanted me to?"

"I do," she said quickly like she was trying to convince herself as well. She stood up and tugged down her dress, and his mouth fell open when he got a good look at her in nothing but her bra and underwear, which was the same red and looked so good against her skin that he could barely think. She sat back down on the mattress, holding her hand out for him. "Come here."

He nearly did a swan dive onto the mattress. The first thing he did was kiss her neck, which he'd been dying to do all night. A few loose tendrils of her hair tickled his nose, and he sighed in contentment, his tongue darting out to taste her skin.

She seemed to like it as much as he did, and he could feel her relaxing underneath him as his mouth trailed down. Her arms were around him, her hands playing at the band of his boxers, and when she slipped them underneath to clutch his backside, he groaned against the column of her throat.

Everything happened very quickly. The intense kisses, the removal of the rest of her clothes, the fumbling to make each other feel good. When he imagined this moment, and he imagined it a lot, he was much more reverent in his choices, taking time to admire every part of her body as it was revealed to him. Now all he could think about was driving into her, pinning her hips to the bed with his as he thrust inside.

"I have condoms," he admitted as she rubbed against him.

She stopped moving, tipping her head back to look at him. His hand was between her legs, riveted by the soft curls there, and she'd been palming the front of his shorts, which were now damp from his excitement. "You do?"

"Yeah, I went and got some." He thought she'd be relieved that he took the initiative there, but she moved her hand away and rolled over to stare up at the ceiling. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know if I'm ready." She turned to watch him, studying him for his reaction. "Are you?"

YES, he wanted to say. "I-I don't know. I think so." He slid his hand away to rest along her thigh. "Do you want to stop?"

"No. I mean, does it have to go that far? Can't we just do other things?" She nestled against him and ran her hand down his hard stomach. "I mostly got this place so we could have a night alone. I just don't know how ready I am anymore..."

"Like what are you thinking?" he asked hopefully. "Lead the way."

"Okay," she said softly, nodding her head.

The feel of her soft, small hand wrapped around him was unreal and he bucked upwards as he clawed at the sheets. The only other touch he'd known was his own, and while she lacked the experience he had with his body, he quickly showed her how to position her hand, guiding hers with his just the way he liked it. He tried to hold out, desperate to make it last as long as possible.

When he felt her breasts brush against his chest, he hugged her to him, flipping them over so he could dip his head to take one into his mouth. Her squeal of surprise while she tried to keep her hand going had him smiling against her breast as he moved from one to the other, each lavished with equal attention until he couldn't hold back anymore and he came on her stomach. He dropped his head on her shoulder, panting until he could catch his breath as she brushed back his hair with her other hand. It was a tender, loving gesture, and he didn't think anything could ever feel better than he did at that moment.

"Unreal," he sighed.

He was not this lucky. Or maybe he was. Maybe falling in love with the most amazing, smart, and beautiful girl in the world was his gift from the universe for all its other shortcomings.

"You're still hard," she told him as she watched him clean off her stomach.

He reasoned that he was probably going to die with an erection at this point, but she seemed determined to take care of it, moving down his body to take him into her mouth.

It was the most incredible feeling in the world as she taught herself how to pleasure him like that, and he was a helpless puddle unable to do much besides push away her hair and watch. The best part was how into it she was, how fully committed she seemed to get him off again. Locker-room talk had him prepared for something else entirely. Girls didn't like it, he heard. Some flat-out refused, and others did it half-heartedly, teasing more than pleasing.

"I'm close," he warned her later, ready to push her off so she didn't get a mouthful.

But she kept her lips wrapped around him, swallowing down the first spurt and sputtering with the consecutive ones. It trickled down her chin as she licked her glistening lips. She climbed back up his body, and he hugged her tight as he caught his breath.

"Was that okay?" she asked, and if he wasn't so spent he probably would have broken into laughter.

"It was better than okay," he assured her. "Much better than okay. I want to make you feel good too," so he positioned her above him on the bed, parting her knees to settle in between them.

Ned wanted to go down on her since he found out what it meant. Guy talk made it sound like it was a chore, something to be done so a guy could get some too if it was done at all, but after the first swipe of his tongue, he knew it was his new favorite thing in the world. Her taste and smell were addictive, just like the feel of her silky skin against his cheeks as she kept closing her legs around his head.

Katie scrubbed her light fingers through his too-long hair and dug her heels into his shoulders, and he licked at her. He replaced his mouth with his fingers, being careful with how he touched her to make sure he didn't hurt her. He sucked kisses like posy-red bruises into her pale skin as he mapped out the wide curves of her body, learning just how different one girl could be from another. He kissed his soft way up her arm and thought that her freckles taste different than her clear skin, almost like cream.

He dropped kisses on her skin along with a random path – a rib, a nipple, over the pulse in her neck – before fitting himself to her again and that time he asked, "didn't you like it?" he asked, patiently prying apart her thighs so he could breathe.

"Yes, I did." She hummed, smiling at him.

"Tell me what you like," he panted a second later as he reemerged. "Let me know what feels good."

"I liked your fingers with your mouth," she said shyly, her cheeks blushing.

"Okay," he mumbled against her hip bone.

She moved her hand to his hair, and his eyes fell shut as she lightly scratched his scalp. "We can learn together. I always hoped it would be you."

He crawled back on top of her, dropping light kisses on her forehead, cheeks, and nose. This seemed to relax her a little more, and her hands started to roam the planes of his broad back until they settled on his ass again. It made him grin to know she liked parts of him because he liked every part of her.

"You tired now?" he asked.

"A little," she yawned, leaning her head against his chest. "Can we maybe try this again some other time?"

He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. "Of course. Whenever you're ready."

After she burrowed under the scratchy and questionable sheets, he spooned behind her, holding her tightly to him. The sweet smell of her shampoo helped settle him down, while she was out almost instantly. Pale blue moonlight illuminated the small room, allowing him to admire Katie relaxed and in the moment, and then he was asleep.

The next morning, Katie was especially affectionate as they showered and dressed. It was an early checkout and her parents were expecting them home that afternoon, so they had to behave themselves, but that didn't stop her from sneaking in hugs, kisses, and touches every chance she got.

"Say what you want about the room, but I slept great," he told her as he loaded their bags into the car.

"Me too," she admitted with a smile. He mentioned her good mood, and she shrugged it off. "I just had a nice dream last night."

"Was I in it?" he asked hopefully.

"Maybe," she teased.

He took her hand as they turned onto the main road, and they stayed like that for the entire ride back.

* * *

It was probably the optimal situation in a scenario where Mr. Jim Clancy had to walk in on them. They were both vertical, for one thing.

And the kiss- one he initiated because she said something funny while they were rummaging through the fridge- was pretty innocent as far as kisses go: it was quick, it was quiet, and their mouths were even closed. He had his hands on her hips but they didn't drop any further than that, and they both heard someone entering the room before there was an opportunity to heat things up.

Completely innocent, really.

So he wasn't sure why he felt like they were caught doing something obscene.

"C'mon you two," Katie's father said as soon as they jumped away from each other. "Let's have a talk." Her father seemed as reluctant to broach the topic as they were, but he sat down with them in the living room and did it anyway. "I can't say I'm surprised, but I guess I figured this would happen sooner rather than later. I was hoping I wouldn't see anything until long after you were both out of high school."

Mackenzie, who heard them all in the kitchen, was overseeing everything from the corner of the room. "Mom warned you," she said. "And I did, too. We even bet on it."

"What are you talking about?" She asked them. "What did you bet on?"

"That you and Ned would end up falling in love," the fourteen-year-old answered. "At least that was my bet. I think Mom just worried you'd start hooking up."

Ned could feel his face turning red as Katie stuttered her defense, "We have not hooked up." At least not completely, but she wasn't going to tell her father that.

"Mack, can you please go upstairs," her dad said in exasperation before returning his attention back to them. "Okay, this is awkward for all of us. You don't have to tell me what you mean to each other or anything. Maybe you don't even know that yet yourselves, but we need to have some rules here. I've already spoken with your mother about this and the main rule should be…" Jim trailed off and Ned imagined about a million different things he could say. Nothing too bad should happen in this house. Or the car. Or anywhere, to be exact. "Just be respectful. Know what decision you're making and be safe."

That was all the father said, and then he got up and headed back toward the kitchen. Although mortifying, it seemed like a good opportunity to talk with Katie about the future between them and what were they to each other.

What did she want to happen when she was going off to college in less than three months? He was barely going to graduate, how could he ever get into a college as good as Katie had?

He didn't know how to bring it up, and she was off the couch and walking toward the kitchen before he had the chance to say anything.

* * *

May through June was a blur. Prom, Ned's birthday, and graduation all happened in less than a month. It felt like a series of nonstop parties and celebrations and they never had a chance to talk about their future together.

The weekend following their graduation ceremony, Devon threw yet another party, and Katie agreed to go with him. They separated not too long after arriving, just like they had at the after-prom party, and he sat down with Chris to talk about post-high school plans.

Ned was officially thinking about joining the police academy, while Chris talked about joining the Airforce. As they talked about getting together again before he left for basic training, he saw Liam Jones pass by. Liam had been at the University of New York for the past two years (the same school Katie would be going to in the fall), and he must've been back for his summer break. He felt a twinge of satisfaction knowing Mr. Big Shot was still coming to high school parties.

After an hour or so passed, Ned set off in search of Katie. She wasn't with Hannah, who was talking to another girl in the hallway, and she wasn't anywhere outside, so he went back to check the rest of the house, sure their paths would cross at some point. He pushed open the swinging door that led into the kitchen, stopping short when he looked up. He'd found Katie alright, in Liam's arms, locked in a kiss that didn't look quite as innocent as the first one they shared.

As he burst out of the room, needing to get as far away from them as possible, he tried to process what he just saw. It didn't make any sense to him, her kissing someone else when they were happy. They were a good couple, but it was exactly what happened. It hurt, more than anything had ever hurt, but the anger was what surprised him the most. He was furious with her, and he wanted to make her hurt. He wanted her to feel what he was feeling, but tenfold.

Ned scanned the room, eager to prove just how done he was. When he spotted a girl he'd had a crush on before in the corner, laughing with a group of her friends, he charged forward in determination. Fiona barely got out a hello before he grabbed her by the hand and led her outside. To hell with Katie Clancy, he thought.

"Are you okay?" Fiona asked him.

He didn't answer her, staying quiet and determined as he took her to the fire pit out back. There were a few people scattered around, but it was mostly private. Private enough anyway.

"Fiona," he said, spinning to face her. "I like you. I've liked you for years, and it's probably time we did something about it." She wasn't the girl he was supposed to be giving a speech like this too, but life wasn't exactly turning out how he planned.

"Ned," Fiona said suspiciously, her brow scrunched. "We're not 13 and kissing at some party like before you were with Katie. What's going on?"

If Katie was making a face like that, he'd think it was adorable. He didn't feel anything when Fiona did it. He was overthinking this, and that needed to stop. So he leaned in to kiss her, determined to shut up his thoughts.

But Fiona staggered backward, pushing him away by his shoulders. "Ned! What's gotten into you? Where's Katie?" Her mouth dropped open in realization. "Are you fighting with her or something? Are you doing this to upset her?"

Any other words Fiona said were barely discernible screeches as she tore into him, telling him she expected more from him, how terrible it was to treat Katie that way, how disgusted she was that he'd use her to hurt someone else. Somewhere in the middle of her rant, Ned realized she was absolutely right, and he fell down onto a nearby bench and clutched his head between his hands. He wasn't sure when he started crying, but it shut Fiona up pretty quickly.

The girl sat next to him, gently patting his back and nudging his side. "What happened?"

He wiped at his eyes, holding back a sob. "Katie. Katie and Liam happened."

"Are you sure? Katie is crazy about you!" Fiona explained. "We talk about it all the time and anyone can see it."

"I saw them. Together," he said, his voice breaking. "Kissing."

"Oh, Ned. I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arm around his back, giving him a comforting squeeze.

He was embarrassed to break down like this, and exhausted from the last ten terrible minutes. "Sorry I tried to kiss you," he told her, brushing away more tears.

"Ned?" It was Katie, her arms wrapped around herself as she stood in front of them. "Can I talk to you?"

Fiona gave him a gentle nudge, silently urging him to hear her out, and he reluctantly agreed, following her to a secluded spot in the backyard.

"Liam kissed me," she confessed once they were alone.

"So I saw," he muttered. "I hope it was worth it."

Her eyes widened. "You did?"

"Sorry to intrude on such an intimate moment," he spat. "It won't happen again."

He tried to walk away from her, but she grabbed him back. "He kissed me, Ned!" She repeated forcefully. "We were talking one second and then he grabbed me and kissed me the next."

"Did you like it?" It was a pathetic question, and he sounded pathetic asking it.

The answer he hoped for, the only one that could have fixed all of this, was a firm no. Instead, she hugged her arms to her chest again and whispered, "I don't know. I just pushed him away. I'm with you."

And he thought to see Katie kiss someone else hurt. "Well, let me know when you work it out," he said, walking away.

They kept their distance until it was time to leave, and neither said a word on the drive home. It was just as well, he figured. They were on opposite paths in life, and this would have happened anyway. At least he knew where they stood. Ned dropped Katie off and drove home. He went straight to bed, feeling only numbness.

* * *

She asked him to come to her house the next day, hurrying to shut the door behind him as he took a seat at her desk.

"I worked it out," she said.

"What?" He asked.

"You told me to let you know when I worked it out. And I did." She sat across from him, nervously wringing her hands. "I was thinking…you shouldn't blame me for what Liam did. I pushed him away and I told you. What else did you want me to do?" She reached out to take his hand, and he could feel her slight tremors as she rubbed their palms together. "Will you forgive me?"

"Katie," he sighed. "Of course I will. I'm sorry I got so upset. You're not gonna lose me," he promised. He'd been up most of the night before thinking about everything, and he realized he didn't handle things particularly well, even if he was brokenhearted. "I'll always be your friend if things don't work out." And he really would try to get over it if that how the cards played out, as hard as it'd be.

"I don't want to just be friends, Ned. I love you," she said, growing frustrated. "That's what I'm saying. I don't want to kiss anyone else, and I don't want you kissing anyone else, either. That's what I worked out. I only want to be with you."

"You want to be with me?" Traitorous hope flared up at her words, but what could it really mean when she was leaving? She would be going to NYU where the infamous Liam would be too. "Katie, c'mon. Do you really want to be stuck with some guy training to be a cop back home and going to community college?"

"Some guy? What are you talking about? You're not just some guy." She dropped his hand and sat up, pacing along her bed. "I know it's going to be hard, but what's the alternative? Isn't it about time we had this talk?"

A talk like this was long overdue, but the timing was never right. Now she was going off to college to live in the dorms with Hannah, and he was staying in Grandview.

There was another factor to take into consideration, too. Liam and her muddled feelings for him.

"If we have a talk like this, I think we have to talk about last night, too," he told her.

"But I told you already- I worked it out." She argued.

"Katie, last you said you didn't know how you felt about the kiss. How'd you work it out in less than 24 hours?" He asked.

"I just did, okay?" She explained. "I didn't like the kiss. The only thing I feel about it is resentment. He didn't have any right to do that. He knows we're dating."

"But you said-"

She dropped her head in her hands, clearly growing agitated. "I don't feel that way about Liam, Ned. I never have. I know I feel that way about you." She seemed to be carefully choosing what she said next, but all she released was a sigh.

He took her hand back, never wanting to let it go again. "Just tell me what you want. That's all you have to do."

"You. I want you." She whispered.

"Then you got me," he said, not quite believing he could be this lucky. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her, but he had to resist the urge. "I love you, Katie."

"I love you too," she smiled, knowing exactly what he meant. For the family's sake, they couldn't start anything until one of them was out of the house. "We have until August 22nd."

August 22nd, the day he would be driving her to New York City. It was a day he had been dreading, but maybe it could have a whole new meaning for them.

"It sounds perfect. We still have the whole summer," he said, untangling his fingers from hers so he could offer a formal handshake.

"It won't be easy, you know." She sighed.

"Nothing worthwhile ever is," he said.

* * *

His superiors loved him at the academy and he graduated in his first try. It was a three-month-course and then he was a rookie, where he worked hard to prove himself and was always willing to pick up extra patrols. He ended every day covered in sweat, absolutely filthy until he scrubbed it all off. But it made him feel a sense of accomplishment, and the bigger paychecks gave him a sense of security.

Every other weekend, he happily drove two hours each way to the University of New York campus in the city to see Katie. The first few visits were a lot exploring the area and catching up on all the new things in their lives. And it was a lot kissing and making out that left them each breathless and wanting more. But as much as he loved that part, he also loved taking her out on dates in the city. He liked picking her up after class and taking her to nice restaurants and to plays.

Tonight, he planned to take her to a fancy steakhouse he'd heard rave reviews about, and he dressed up in new jeans and a button-down, strategically rolling the sleeves up to his forearms because he knew that was something she liked. He kissed her at the door, and then she led him inside her dorm. Her roommate, a quiet and bookish redhead named Olivia was notably absent. As much as she'd hoped, Hannah hadn't been placed in the same room with her, but just down the hall.

"Olivia's gone for the night," Katie told him when he asked about her. "We made a deal."

"What kind of deal?" He asked.

"I told her I'd transfer notes for English Composition if she promised to scram for a few hours to give us some space." She sat on her twin-sized bed, patting the seat next to her.

"So you've got something planned?" he asked, growing suspicious.

"Maybe," she smirked.

He wasn't about to say no to a pre-dinner grope-fest, so he cupped her face for a kiss, parting his lips over hers as he savored the moment. Privacy was rare and cherished, and now he wasn't so excited about the restaurant. But they had reservations, he reminded himself reluctantly. They'd have to leave soon if they wanted to get there on time.

"We should stay in tonight. We could just go eat on campus. There's a lot of good food," she said, lying down. She beckoned him to lie with her, and then she said what he didn't hear last spring on prom night. "I'm ready."

He was still trying to process that statement as she unbuttoned his shirt. Ready. She was ready.

Nerves kicked in with the realization of what she meant and suddenly he didn't feel so ready. It was too soon, he decided. He was still trying to figure out how to please her, cataloging every minuscule hint she offered about what she liked and what she didn't with all their recent adventures. He had hoped to know her body better by this point so she'd enjoy it just as much as he inevitably would. There was never any doubt it'd be good for him, but he wanted it to be good for her.

She knew his reservations and assured him she'd like it because she wanted to be with him that way. "I think about time," she confessed, yanking the bottom of his undershirt out of his pants.

"Whoa, really?" He asked.

"Yes," she said with a laugh, still trying to divest him of his clothes. "And I know it's going to be good no matter what because it'll be with you."

She rarely got so sentimental. He kissed her again, more intensely this time, and they both committed to the idea it was going to happen. "Can I undress you?" he wanted to know, and she nodded shyly as his hands slid underneath her sweater.

He peeled off each piece of her clothing with professional precision, stroking and kissing every patch of bare skin. When she was down to just her underwear, it was her turn with him, and she went for his belt buckle first in a display of impatience. She asked if he still had the condoms, which he did, still tucked in the crevices of his wallet. When they were both naked, he moved on top of her and she hitched her legs over his hips, awkwardly positioning himself against her.

"Wait," he said, feeling a need to apply the brakes again, and he sat back on his haunches near the edge of the bed.

It felt like his lower half was in a battle with his brain as he pressed closer to her. This was probably going to happen fast, no matter how much he tried to draw it out.

"What's wrong?" she panted.

He started crawling up the bed, kissing a path to the center of her thighs as he goes, not leaving any skin untouched. His lips are soft and his breath was hot, making her entire feel alive. But she needed him higher, and higher, a little more to the left. When he's finally where she wanted him, she pulled herself up, leaning back on her forearms to watch him. His blonde hair mixed in with her trimmed brown hair, and when he looks up at her, his eyes dark with arousal, she only becomes wetter.

Then his tongue darted out, stroking her between her folds, drinking her. She fell to the bed and her hands went into his hair automatically. This wasn't the first time he's gone down on her, it's actually one of his favorite pastimes when they were together. But tonight, it felt even more intimate. His lips ghost over her center, raised, sensitive, and pulsating. His tongue moved from just where he was inside her, and his fingers were thick and pulling and entering.

She told herself to relax and take a couple of deep breathes. Feeling warm, her hips rise up and down on his fingers slowly, before her pace increases rapidly. Her back arches and she closed her eyes when she starts to feel a tightening sensation in her lower belly. "Ned, oh... I think I'm gonna-"

"Yes," he encouraged, his head now buried in the nape of her neck and his warm breath fanned her ear. "You're about to come aren't you?"

It took just one more swipe of his finger and she's gone – flying over the edge, waves of bliss crushing through her body making her shake and pulse. As she fell back down, she sucked oxygen back into her lungs, her naked chest heaving with exertion. She'd never felt more satisfied in her life. She vaguely became aware of her surroundings when she feels his mouth peppering light kisses on the side of her neck, murmuring against her sweaty skin.

"That was so hot," he breathed.

She can't help the beaming smile that crossed her face when he sat up on his haunches and looked down on her, his eyes glowing with love and pride. The euphoric and boneless feeling settling within her body was unfamiliar, but it's a welcomed one and she can't wait to experience it again. "I want to feel you, Ned," she whispered.

Wordlessly, and with a tiny glint in his eyes, he gripped himself in hand and began stroking up and down on his rock hard flesh. He grabbed the condom he'd put on the nearest surface and put it on before dipping inside her, just slightly and the act made her gasp.

"I want to try and make it as painless as possible," he explained. "We'll go slowly okay? Just try and relax." She nodded, but he still felt her body tense up. He laid down on top of her, his frame covering her entire body as his arms held up most of his weight. He searched her face for a few moments, trying to read her before he kissed her. "Are you ready?"

She nodded. "I'm ready." He leaned down to kiss her gently, his tongue caressing hers as he brings the head of his cock to her entrance, pushing in slowly at first before pulling out and slowly thrusting back in again. The sensation caused her to hold her breath, before whimpering out a tiny, "Oh."

"You alright?" He asked, his voice sounding low and strained.

She gave herself a few moments to adjust before replying. "Yeah, keep going." He paused once he hits some resistance, his eyes wide and dilated, searching her face for any change in her decision. She gasped, gripping his shoulders tightly and digging her nails into the skin. "Just do it, Ned."

His forehead was against hers then, his eyes focusing on her as he pushed further gently, and the intimacy of the moment was enough to distract her. Her mouth fell open slightly and her hands gripped his shoulder, bringing him even closer. She doesn't try to hide the small whimper that escaped her as he thrust into her fully, her body adjusting to him for the first time. The twinge of pain mixed with her tears was enough to make him feel like the worst person in the whole world, even as she smiled and kissed him.

"I'm fine, Ned." She laughed slightly as her hands tightened on his shoulders. "I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered.

Her back bowed slightly as her body welcomed him, her breathy moan echoing his choked groan as he dropped his face to the crook of her neck.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Yes," she grinned, kissing him softly and gently. "There's no more pain."

"You feel so good," he moaned as he buried his face into her neck, beginning to find a steady pace in his thrusting.

She almost relished in it as he sunk deeper, her legs falling wider apart to in. It's slow and lucid then, how they moved together. How their tongues tangled and played while their hands roam over their bodies, pulling the other closer as if they'd never let go. The shared the same breath, the same rapid heartbeat. Katie wrapped her arms around his neck and his mouth finds hers again. She can't help but let out soft sigh and mewls every time he pushed back into her. Soon, she traveled her hands down to his waist, gripping the taut skin to pull him in closer.

Ned responded with a loud groan against her lips, breathing her in as his mouth hovers above hers. He picked up the pace, thrusting into her harder. "Is this ok? I'm not hurting you am I?"

"No, it feels really good - keep going," she moaned and tilted her head back.

"I don't think I'm going to last much longer," he gasped between strides, shifting one of her legs, so it can hang over the crook of his arm. The position allowing him to hit inside her deeper. "You're so tight…and it's you. I love you."

With her hands still linked around his neck she began tugging on the end of his hair, she felt like she's being possessed; the sensations inside her building with a dull intensity, like she's sitting in the middle of a strong ocean current, getting pushed and pulled and all she can do was go with the flow and take it. She wrapped her other leg around his waist, basking in and relishing everything he had to give her.

Before she knew it she could feel his hand positioned in between their sweaty and writhing bodies, with two fingers seeking out her center. She squealed out in delight when he found it and he used the calloused pads of his fingers to rub small, fast circles into the sensitive bud. He groaned loudly in her ear, his other hand gripping the bedpost above him to support his movements.

"You feel so sweet around me– but I need you to come too. I'm so close," he told her, biting down on her shoulder.

And that's all it took to push her over the edge. She cried out, her grip on his disheveled hair tightening. He snapped into her one, two, three more times before he pushed to the hilt and stilled before he shuddered out his release. She tasted herself on him, but it doesn't even faze her.

She lifted her head to kiss along his jaw. "I'm so glad I'm with you," she said. "Being here and meeting other people made me realize it even more."

Not only did they miss their reservations, but the steakhouse was closed by the time they made it uptown. But she said there was another place she wanted to try. At the restaurant, as she slid into the seat across from him, he asked her, again, if she was okay if this was all right if she needed anything.

"I'm fine, Ned," she said from behind the menu.

He suspected as much, but there was still a part of him that just wanted to take care of her. He liked the feeling of being needed, especially by her. "So, uh, do you need any more textbooks?"

"No." She said.

"You don't need anything?" He asked.

She set down the menu and reached across the table to take his hand. "Just you."

She was on a roll tonight with her feelings, and he bashfully ducked his head as he tried to hide his ridiculously goofy smile. He turned his palm over to kiss her fingers. "I love you," he said.

If she was surprised, she didn't show it. "I love you, too."

It was the greatest night of his life, and as he reflected on his other top moments, he realized she played a prominent role in them all. That next morning back at her dorm, he kissed her goodbye and said, "I miss you already."

"I know. I'll see you next time. We'll go to that steakhouse, okay?" She said, tightly holding onto him, and he could hardly wait until next time. Next time. It made him realize that he still had a lot to look forward to, and if he was as lucky as he felt, she'd be right beside him for all of it.

* * *

It was something Katie and Ned discussed, at length, about a million times since they'd shared their sixth anniversary together. They were going to get married one day, and now that she was almost done with her degree in teaching, they could solidify their plans. All Ned had to do was ask, and he was pretty damn sure she was going to say yes.

Confidence in her answer didn't help his nerves any. He wanted the night to be perfect, and it was far from it. He burnt the bread he was making with dinner, he dropped food in his lap while they were eating, and he stepped on the back of her heel while following behind her to change.

"Ouch! Dammit, Ned!" She groaned, sitting on a nearby park bench.

"I am so sorry," he said, his face turning bright red.

"What's with you tonight?" She asked.

"N-nothing," he stuttered unconvincingly. "I'm great."

He should have just hired a sky-writer. Other than getting her to the window on time, his effort would've been minimal. He would've leaned up against the wall with one of those cocky smirks while she stared out in amazement. "Whaddya say, baby? Make me the happiest man in the world?" Then this chapter could end and the next finally begin, all without making a fool of himself.

No, that would've been terrible. He could never do that, never say that. "Dammit, nothing ever goes as planned," he said out loud now.

She scrunched her brow in confusion, and she was so damn cute it nearly killed him. "What?"

"You know, I've spent immeasurable amounts of time going over what I would say to you at this moment." He groaned, fisting his hair and sighing. "Since as far back as I can remember, I've been in awe of you, then I was lucky enough to fall in love with you and even luckier that you fell in love with me, too. And now I can't think of a damn thing to say. There aren't words to describe how much you mean to me, Katie." He moved to sit beside her, wiping the tears he could see rolled down her cheeks. "I try to tell you it as often as I can, and I try to show you it every minute of every day."

He got down on one knee, reaching for the ring in his pants pocket as she covered her mouth in mock surprise. He chuckled and took her hand into his, kissing it, feeling the tears from his own face linger on her skin.

"I love you, Katie," he breathed, opening the box. It was almost all of his savings, but worth every penny. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she said immediately, pressing their lips together.

* * *

Mackenzie's new boyfriend, Bryan with a Y, was a really nice kid. She met him at NYU, where they were both pre-med, and it must have been at least semi-serious because he visited during the summer and she brought him home for Thanksgiving. Ned had met him more, mostly because he and Katie lived in the city and so did Mackenzie and Bryan.

But for reasons not obvious to either Ned or Katie, Jim couldn't stand him. He said Bryan's name like it tasted bad, spitting it out in disgust as he grimaced. It became a running joke between the couple. If something would go wrong, they'd look at each other and say, "Bryan!" in the same revolted tone.

A few days into his first visit, Bryan pulled him aside. "You're in the family, man. You gotta help me here. How do I get Jim to like me?"

"Well," Ned said, not wanting him to feel bad, "it's a totally different situation. I met him when I was in fifth grade, and Katie and I were friends for years before we started dating. Now we're getting married, so I think my spot is untouchable."

"He's going to hate me forever, isn't he?" Bryan sighed.

Probably, Ned thought. But he said, "Nah, just give him time."

Time didn't seem to be helping any. At the Thanksgiving table, Mr. Clancy openly glared at him after they said grace. "Remember, Mel," he said in the kitchen earlier. "You can't put pecans in the sweet potato casserole. Bryan is highly allergic to all tree nuts."

Melinda and Mackenzie were too caught up in wedding planning to pay much attention to the hostility. They went on and on about catering and flowers and music and dresses as Katie scarfed down her food. "The wedding's nearly a year and a half away," she said when she finally came up for air. "We've got plenty of time to figure it all out."

"The wedding is less than fifteen months away, babe. That time is going to fly right by. We need to commit to a few things here," Melinda replied.

She readied another bite of mashed potatoes. "We already took care of ordering the cake, we are going to the dress shop in a few weeks, and we've got the church and hall reserved." She sighed and looked at the potatoes. "And this is the last time I'll be able to eat carbs again until Christmas."

"Well, there is one more thing we wanted to share," he said, nudging her elbow meaningfully.

"Oh. Right." She said excitedly. "Go ahead, tell them." She speared a piece of turkey and went right back to eating.

"You two aren't pregnant, are you?" Bryan laughed, only shutting up when Jim gave him another withering look.

"No, I just got a good paying job assignment." He said, making a sandwich with his turkey ad bun. "I'm going to be one of the head bodyguards for the Governor of New York for the next few weeks. Plus I named a ridiculously high pay and he agreed to it."

"You were commissioned by the Governor of New York to be the head of his security?" Melinda asked with a grin. "That's amazing!"

"Head of security for the Governor," Jim said, testing the words before smiling proudly. "That is amazing, Ned. I was thinking we'd get a new family portrait in the next few weeks. One with all of us." He looked across the table and his face fell. "But not you, Bryan."

* * *

Next spring with their wedding fast and Katie's final presentation to the teaching board fast approaching, Ned stayed up with Katie until midnight going over her presentation, prepping her with possible questions, encouraging her when she faltered.

"At this point, I should be able to give it myself," he joked.

"Would you?" she asked, only half-kidding.

He rubbed her back reassuringly. "You're going to do great, Katie. You've got this."

It was the biggest moment of her college career, this presentation to earn her teaching degree. She spent months going over every finite detail, and tomorrow she would present it to the teaching board at their request.

"I wish you could be there," she said, not for the first time. "Just knowing you were in the room would make me feel a million times better."

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "You know I have to work. But I'll be there in spirit." He set the alarm for 5 a.m., and she apologized for keeping him up so late as they climbed into bed together. "Don't worry about it," he told her.

A few minutes later, or at least that was what it felt like, it went off, and he groggily hit the snooze button before dragging himself out of bed. Katie was sprawled out on her side, the blankets twisted around her feet like they always were in the morning, so he pulled the covers up and tucked them back over her.

In the shower, he soaped up and shampooed his hair, and he heard the curtain being pulled back as he was blinded by suds. "Babe, I really hope that's you," he said, ducking his head under the water to rinse off his face.

"It's me," she laughed. "But don't breathe too easy, Michael Myers in here with us."

He opened up his eyes and looked her up and down. "But what a way to go."

"Good morning," she said, slipping her arms around his shoulders and giving him a sweet kiss.

"Good morning to you, too." He grinned, smiling widely at her. "Why are you up so early?"

"Nerves, I guess." She shrugged.

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked innocently.

She stood up on the tips of her toes, her nipples grazing his chest, and whispered in his ear, "I want to have mind-blowing sex with you."

Never one to deny her request, he kissed her roughly on the mouth before spinning her around. She leaned against him, hooking her arm around the back of his neck as she put one of her feet up on side of the tub. He wanted to take his time- even if didn't have too much of it- and make sure she was absolutely ready for him. Instead of entering her, he slipped his hand between her legs and found the spot that always made her knees buckle, brushing it back and forth just the way she liked it.

It took a long time to get to the point where he knew her body as well as he did now. She was a tigress when it came to his pleasure, but always so shy when it came to her own, too timid to tell him what felt good and what didn't sometimes. It took many times before she opened up to him, and he'd never forget their first time.

After that, she was a lot more receptive to his ideas for her pleasure. One night, several months after that first time in her dorm, she let him go down on her for over an hour.

"Get comfortable," he'd told her before he started, surrounding her with pillows and lazily kissing her until she relaxed.

He refused to come up for air until he got it right, and that was when he finally did. She moaned softly as he ran his tongue along the inside of her thigh, inching patiently toward her center, which he licked slowly yet firmly as he tried to read every cue she gave him. He alternated between up and down and side-to-side until she cried out, then she bucked her hips, which nearly broke his nose. He kept going, his jaw sore, his tongue throbbing. He could taste the difference after she finished, and it gave him the energy for another round. When he finally slid inside of her, she was so slick and so ready for him that he barely lasted ten minutes.

Now their sex life was just as rewarding as every other facet of their relationship. Some nights she wanted him to be gentle and tender, and they'd spend hours caressing each other and softly kissing. Other times, usually after a fight, they'd both want it quick and dirty. There wasn't a part of her body he didn't spill onto at one point, and she was able to say words she probably never imagined uttering. Nothing was off limits in those moments when they needed to be together. Fuck. That was probably her favorite word. Fuck me seemed to be her sentence of choice.

He could be absolutely filthy, too. She loved that, she admitted once. "And you seem so sweet," she said as they'd finished having sex in the front hall of their condo. After detailing every nasty thought he had about her that day on a car ride home from dinner, she pulled her skirt up and pulled him close.

"Faster," she said as he rubbed his thumb against her now. "Right there, oh god, right there."

The hot water was pelting against his back as he lightly sucked on her neck, careful to not mark her. Finally, she cried out, arching against him as she clamped down on his hand with her thighs. She nearly lost her balance with her orgasm, but he held her up, stopping her from taking a tumble in the tub. His favorite feeling in the world was sliding into her after she came. She turned to face him, draping her arms over his shoulders as he easily lifted her up. He entered her slowly, and her legs locked around his waist as he gripped her hips to move her up and down.

She pulled his hair and bit at his shoulder, her feet flat against the shower tile. The water was running lukewarm now, and she encouraged him to let go. "I love you," she breathed "Oh, yes, right there," and that did it for him, just like it usually did.

He shook against her with every spasm and buried his face in her wet hair. Orgasms usually zapped him of all energy, and now he was more tempted than ever to climb back into bed.

"I'll make you breakfast, so take a little time," she said, soaping up and then ducking under the chilly water to rinse off.

"You don't have to do that." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed his neck. "Just go back to bed, it's an important day for you."

"I'm making breakfast, okay?" She smiled over her shoulder.

By the time he was dry and in his work clothes, she had bacon and eggs waiting. "I really wish I could go with you today," he said as they ate, making sure to lay it on real thick.

"Me too, but it's okay. Your job is very important and I'm probably as prepared as I can be." She said, squeezing his hand.

"Ain't that the truth," he said, earning a glare. It was very easy, especially after working long hours with someone who had a heavy West Virginia twang, to say that word and it drove her up the wall.

"Ain't isn't a word, Ned." She groaned.

"It ain't?" he asked, teasing her some more.

She cleared his plate and dropped a kiss on top of his head. "Have a good day at work. Be safe."

He engulfed her in a strong hug before leaving, telling her again that she'd do great, and that he was so proud of her no matter what happened. She waved goodbye at the door, and he took his time getting to his car, knowing he had quite a few hours to kill before she left for her presentation.

He drove to a nearby diner first, ordering a cup of coffee and leisurely reading the paper. He picked up their dry cleaning next, and then he stopped off at the florist to check in on their flower order for the wedding. They had to make a few adjustments due to availability, and Ned approved all the changes, knowing what kind of flowers Katie would want in their centerpieces.

At around 9:30, he drove to their house, just outside of the city, but still an hour from Grandview. He sat in his car, taking a moment to admire it and all its progress, then he stepped out to find Scott O'Neill, the leader of the remodel.

"You checkin' in, Boss?" he said, spotting Ned coming toward him.

"No, Scott," he replied with a wide grin. "Just killing some time. How's it going?"

"Good, good. We finished up the stonework yesterday and got the rest of the siding on 'round back." Scott explained. "It's gonna be beautiful when it's all done."

"It's beautiful now," he grinned. "I can't believe how far it's come."

"Just you wait. You're gonna want to honeymoon in your home." Scott said, nudging his side.

Ned laughed as he followed him around the back to see what was done since his last visit. After he was finished there, he checked his watch and weighed his options. It was ten after, and Katie's presentation was at eleven. He needed to get back to see if her car was gone, but he didn't want to risk her leaving at the same time and seeing him. It'd ruin the whole surprise.

But she'd already left, so he hurried up to their apartment and changed. He put on the nicest dress pants he owned, his favorite light blue button down, and a thin navy sweater over top. He carefully straightened his tie before tucking it underneath the sweater, and then he laced up his dress shoes and fixed his hair.

He spoke to the head of the teaching board in an email about this weeks ago, asking if it was alright to sit in on the presentation. The man replied quickly in response, saying he saw no harm in it. Ned knew a lot of the city officials and he felt at ease around them, but Katie didn't. From the moment she told him about it, he planned on being there, but of course, wanted to surprise her in his usual fashion.

Katie was busy organizing her notes when he entered the room, and she never looked up from them as he took a seat near the front. He sat up straight and studiously, his hands folded in front of him. She began right on time, and her beautiful voice started out shaky as she introduced herself, but when her eyes met his, they flashed with surprise before a relieved smile spread across her face.

That night, they drove all the way to Grandview to celebrate her getting her teaching license at her favorite restaurant with her family.

* * *

"Nervous?" Everyone that approached Ned seemed to ask that question.

Their guests were pouring into the church, always early for any event, and each one who passed wanted an update on his mental health. He wasn't nervous. Not one bit. This was hands down, the happiest day of his life. It was the precursor to all the other best days of his life. Anything good that happened from now on he would link to this moment.

But was he anxious? Definitely. Because it was thirty or so minutes until the start of the ceremony.

"How are you feeling?" Jim asked, clapping him on the back.

"Good," he smiled. "I feel great."

"You did a nice job with the tie," Jim said, motioning to his half-Windsor tie.

"I learned from the best," he told him.

The man shook his head, trying to muster a laugh but feeling too emotional to manage one. "You know, Ned," he began, "it's all official today. You're officially a part of our family after you exchange those vows and sign the paper. But I want you to know, that for me, it's been official for a really long time."

"Thank you, sir. That means a lot," he said. It was one of the nicest things anyone ever said to him, and Ned hugged him in appreciation.

Jim excused himself to take care of some things, and he thought he might be a little choked up. After the father left, Ned paced in front of the entrance again, and he checked his watch and sighed. Twenty minutes until the ceremony. More people arrived, each surprised to see him up front.

"Getting ready to bolt?" His friend Devon asked, barking in laughter.

He'd been surprised to see Katie invited their fifth-grade teacher Mrs. Trenton who smiled as she passed, telling him proudly that she was taking credit for all of this. "After all," the woman said coyly, "I paired you two up years ago."

His brothers shook his hand, and his parents stood back stoically, seeming unsure of what they were allowed to do. If there was going to be any sadness this day, it was at this part, but he thanked them all for coming and initiated the hugs. They were his blood, and no matter what happened, he would love them. His father told him a while ago that his mother was getting the help she always needed, so he hoped it was a step toward repairing their relationships.

He glanced down the corridor at the bride's suite, where Katie was waiting, and he caught a glimpse of Mackenzie in her pale orange yellow. As nontraditional as they claimed to be, he and Katie were having the most stereotypical wedding imaginable. They had a flower girl and ring bearer, bridesmaids and groomsmen, her father was going to walk her down the aisle, and Mackenzie planned on reading the poem from their fifth-grade poem presentation.

Neither of them opposed that. It seemed fitting.

Ten minutes before the ceremony, Aiden, Katie's little brother came running down the hallway. "Hey, Ned? Can you help? I can't find my dad," the almost eight-year-old held up his tie helplessly with a sigh.

He crouched down to assist him. "No problem, I can definitely help with this. So, the main thing to remember with a half-Windsor is that you're always working with the widest part of the tie. See this?" he asked, holding up the thick end. He looped it through the gap between the collar and tie. "It takes some practice to get it right, but I can always help you out until you learn how to do it, if you can't find your dad."

"Thanks, Ned," Aiden said, impressed by the finished product. "How do I look?"

Ned pretended to study him for a moment, thoughtfully cupping his chin. "Oh no, this is terrible."

"What's wrong?" Aiden gasped.

"You can't look better than me, Aid. Mess up your hair," he said, gently tousling it as Aiden laughed. "Make a strange face. Do something to help me out here!"

Aiden batted his hand away, still laughing. "No. I want to look the best!"

"Fine then. Ready?" He asked.

"I think so," Aiden said nervously.

"You're gonna do great. It's the most important job today, you know. That's why I'm trusting you with it." He gave him the ring box, asking him if he remembered what he had to do, and Aiden nodded.

"Ned?" Aiden asked timidly. "What would happen if I lost the ring?"

"Oh, I'm sure we'd find it," he reassured him, just in case. He didn't think the kid would actually lose the ring though. "It'd have to be around here somewhere."

"But if we didn't find it?" Aiden whispered. "Katie would probably be so mad, right?"

Ned crouched back down, coming eye-to-eye with him again. "It'd be okay," he said with a smile. "We'd figure something else out if came down to that, bud."

This seemed to appease him, and Aiden gave a wide smile. "I won't lose it."

"I know, buddy." He said. "I trust you."

Mackenzie rounded the corner, heading straight for them. "Hey! It's almost time!" She instructed her little brother where to go, and then she grabbed Ned's arm. "Not to take advantage of heightened emotions on your wedding day, but just wait until you see her, Ned. I bet a hundred dollars that you're in tears by the time Katie is at the end of the aisle."

"Not a good bet to make, Mack. I've got little wings on my shoes right now. Nothing's going to make me cry." He couldn't imagine anything but a wide grin on his face as he saw Katniss walking towards him. Sure he had shed more than a few tears of happiness, but he had too much to look forward to today to shed any kind of tears.

Two weeks in Hawaii awaited them in the morning, and he couldn't wait to smell the mixture of sea salt and sunscreen on her skin. Then, when they returned, they were moving everything into their new home. Then forever. They had forever together.

His last week at the Governor's office was a month ago, but he had about ten different detectives positions offered to him. He'd expected on in the town just outside New York City, where they'd bought their house and was excited to get started once they got back. Their house was beautiful, and they were going to fill it up with love and memories and children.

"Make it fifty. I'm not totally heartless." Mackenzie said. "You are so going to cry."

It was wonderful to see Mackenzie like this, joyful and lighthearted. It was her natural state. Bryan with a Y was long gone. A few months after last Thanksgiving, she found out he was still seeing his high school girlfriend back home. Mack took it surprisingly well. Mack was busy with school and her friends, she told them. And, she added, she didn't forget her old bet with Ned from when she'd first gotten her heart broken. Ned had promised her a million dollars if she didn't ever get married.

"How's she doing?" he asked her now about Katie.

"A little nervous, but she's fine, Ned," Mackenzie reassured him. "I gave her some champagne to loosen her up."

"Oh lord," he laughed. "She's not drunk, is she?"

"No! Just a teensy bit buzzed. And she wants to see you. Well, not see you, see you because she's not allowed to see you, but c'mon." He followed her to Katie door, and she inched it open. "No peeking!" Mack warned. "It's bad luck and it compromises the bet." She walked away to give them their privacy, so Ned took a seat on the floor, leaning against the wall.

"Hey, you." He said.

"Hi," Katie whispered.

"Nervous?" He blanched as soon as he said the word. Now the guests had him doing it.

"Yes!" she admitted freely. "What were we thinking with a big wedding like this? We should have eloped!"

Nothing scared Katie more than a huge spectacle with her at the center of attention. "It won't be too bad, honey," he promised. "I'll be right up there with you. Just look at me, and all you have to do is repeat whatever the priest tells you to."

"Yeah, I know. We did it last night," she said softly, and he could tell she was in deep thought.

"Katie, do you regret not writing our own vows?" He asked then, remembering how rushed she'd made that decision.

"I thought you didn't want to anyway?" She asked.

"I know, but you wanted to. Are you upset we didn't?" He asked.

"No, but kind of," she told him.

She was a little bothered at the time when the deacon shot down the idea as soon as it was brought up. But it was for the best, anyway. Ned wasn't the type to put those kinds of thoughts on paper, and when it came down to it he didn't want to, either. Everything Katie wanted to say to him- all the promises she wanted to make that weren't included in the ceremony- she would tell him when they were alone. She planned to do it later that evening after they left the reception to spend their wedding night in their new house.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Her brow furrowed in confusion, but he couldn't see it. "For what?"

"For not putting my foot down that you wanted to," he sighed.

"I wanted to surprise you and write my own vows and say them now. But I kept messing them up." She said softly. Their side of the church was so quiet that he could hear paper crinkling in her hand. "I couldn't decide where to begin. I started listing things I love about you, but there are so many, Ned. It'd be impossible to write them all down. I stopped at nine when my hand started cramping up."

"You wrote nine things you love about me?" he laughed. "Can I hear them?"

"It's dumb," she warned.

"No, it's not." He said, smiling. "I think it's sweet."

She was quiet for a moment, and he thought maybe she was trying to kill time before the ceremony to get out of it. Then he heard the rustling of paper again. "I love how nice you are to the waitstaff when we go out to dinner."

He laughed again, loving that that was the first thing she thought of when writing her list. It was so undeniably her.

"I love how loud you are even when you're trying to be quiet," she continued. "Or when you come in late to bed and try so hard to keep me asleep, but you always wake me up."

"And you love that?" He asked.

"Yes," she said resolutely. "And number four is that I love how you always roll up your shirt sleeves just past your elbows. You do that for me, don't you?"

"Yeah," he admitted with a soft smile. "I do that for you."

"Number five: I love watching you cook. I could do it forever. And number six is that I love how good you are with siblings. Number seven is you're going to make the best dad someday, Ned. I'm so lucky I'll get to be the one to have children with you."

"Katie..." He could feel his throat tightening, and he wanted to slip through the open door and wrap his arms around her.

"And I love how much you love my family, and that they love you just as much. That's number eight." Her voice was breaking, too. He rubbed his eyes, and he wanted to make a crack about her conspiring with Mackenzie to win fifty bucks, but he was just trying to keep it together.

"What's number nine?" he asked when he finally regained his composure.

"Something I don't think I should say in a church." She was outright laughing now, and he joined in. "But I think you know what I'm talking about."

"I do," he grinned, licking his lips just thinking about how great tonight was going to be.

"Hey, don't think it's time to say those words yet." She teased him.

The ceremony was going to start in less than five minutes and he should really be at the altar by now.

"Did a lot of people show up?" she asked, sounding a little more put together. He imagined she was dabbing her eyes, careful to not mess up her makeup.

"Yeah, I think everyone showed up." He said. "Two hundred of our closest family and friends."

She emitted a groan, and then her hand popped out between the door and frame, landing next to him. He realized she must have been sitting the same way he was on the other side of the wall.

"Hey, what's this?" he asked, noticing the wristlet from prom she wore, except no flowers on it. "You kept this all these years?"

"It's my something old." She said.

"I thought I was your something old?" He gasped.

She laughed lightly now without any hint of tears. "No. You're my something else."

He reached over to take her hand, turning it over to trace the lines on her palm. "I love you so much, Katie. I can't wait to marry you."

"I can't wait to marry you, either." She said.

It was almost time, so he said he'd see her soon, dropping a quick kiss on her hand. He went through the side door to get to the front of the church, and even he startled a bit at the sight of so many people in the pews.

He took his place at the altar, eagerly waiting for the procession to begin. As the harpist and violinist began with Pachelbel's Canon in D, the doors opened. Everyone turned in their seat to watch Mrs. Clancy walk down the aisle first, and she wiped at her eyes and smiled at him as she took her seat. His groomsmen were next, followed by Scott, his best man, and their contractor, who squeezed his shoulders when he took his spot behind him. The bridesmaids walked next, and as he watched them, he was sure nothing would ever top this feeling of anticipation. Elation was the only word he could think of to describe it. Pure elation.

Mackenzie followed behind, beaming at him the whole time. Aiden and Lana, the two youngest Clancy's walked together next. Her little shoe got caught on the white aisle runner, and she stumbled forward, falling on her knees. There was a chorus of 'awws' as Aiden helped her up, holding her hand to finish it together.

"You did great," Ned whispered as he took his spot next to him, and he smiled back proudly.

Then it was the moment they were all waiting for him especially. The music faded and there was a heart-stopping second of silence before "Here Comes the Bride" began. Everyone stood up, craning their necks to catch the first glimpse of Katie as the big wooden doors opened again.

The image of Katie in her wedding gown was something he would never forget. She smiled at him as she held onto her father's arm, and he smiled back, trying to soak in every detail of the moment. Her veil, her hair, her smile, the slight pink to her cheeks from the champagne. He couldn't believe how beautiful she looked, and he could only imagine how big his grin was as he took another deep breath to brace himself.

Jim hugged her before taking his seat, and Katie reached for his hand, squeezing it tight. "Hi," she whispered, reaching up to brush away one of his tears. He didn't even realize he was crying again until she did it.

Tears of happiness, Ned realized. It was the best bet he'd ever lost to Mackenzie.


	8. Model Ex AU

Ned was pretty sure being forced to look at his ex-girlfriend in lingerie every day should be classified as a form of torture. Especially his incredibly sexy ex-girlfriend who carved out his heart and stomped all over it six years ago when she broke up with him and left town, claiming she needed something more, something bigger than the small town the two of them had grown up in.

Apparently, that something more was a cushy job as one of the most sought-after underwear models in the country.

He always figured she would be a writer, maybe at a magazine or even as a novelist. The Katie Clancy he knew could barely stand for him to look at her naked with the lights on and always blushed when he told her how beautiful she was. That was high school. He guessed the fashion industry really changes people. Literally, as they appear to have photoshopped out his favorite mole of hers, the one right below her belly button and the one on her thigh, the one he used to kiss until she begged him to stop because she was ticklish. Or maybe she actually had it removed, unhappy with the bit of imperfection that marred her perfect lifestyle now.

Katie really was gone to him, then, a fact he's forced to swallow every day as he stared at the large ad for Scarlet Lingerie in the subway he took to and from work. This Katie stared back at him, all sex and come-hither, but she mocked him with her eyes like she's laughing at him, like she's saying, 'See what you're missing baby?'

Well, the joke's on her, because he's no longer stuck in their small hometown either. No, he's doing pretty well for himself too, with his well-paying job in the city as an ad sales exec. She's not the only one who beat the odds. He's had his fair share of girlfriends since her too. He doesn't miss her one damn bit. Not even when he hears from his mother that she read in some magazine that Katie was pictured kissing some quarterback or basketball player this weekend at a club.

As he boarded the train that will take him home, he resisted the urge to rip the poster off the wall.

A week later, when Katie's ad was replaced with a poster for the new season of "So You Think You Can Dance," he's not sure if he's relieved or disappointed.

* * *

Ned headed home for Christmas to spend the holiday with his family, as he did every year.

He doesn't want to, really, but he feels obligated to since it's the only time of the year he saw his family and friends now. He usually had to suffer through some ribbing from his mom's boyfriend Tim or friends about Katie, his smokin' hot supermodel ex. And this time was no different, as his friend Devon kept showing him all of Katie's new ads on his phone, saying things like, "Damn, if I had known this is what she was hiding all those years ago, I would have stolen her right from under you."

Ned volunteered to pick up some more eggnog from the store, mainly to keep himself from punching Devon in his face. He was standing in the dairy section, scanning over the different cartons when he saw her. Katie Clancy in the flesh. He's not entirely sure he's not hallucinating, because she looked just as she had six years ago and nothing like the glossy ads he saw her in now.

He's just staring at her when she turned toward him, milk in hand, and pulled up short. She looked like she's just seen a ghost, which was how he felt like, really. He refused to speak first, and he almost expected her to turn and run.

But Katie took a step toward him. "Ned?"

He cleared his throat, hoping his voice doesn't betray how shaky he felt seeing her again in person. "Hey, Katie."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Hi. How have you been?"

He shrugged. "Well, I don't have a 25-story billboard of me in Times Square, but I'm doing pretty well."

He's not sure if he meant it as an insult, or if he's trying to hurt her, or if he wanted to make her leave. But, surprisingly, she made a self-deprecating face and shook her head.

"It's awful, isn't it?" She sighed.

"That's not quite the word I would use for it," he said wryly because despite how much he resented her for breaking his heart, the sight of her half-naked still made him weak in the knees.

She laughed weakly, but then they're quiet for a moment as they size each other up. "So…do you still live in town…?" she asked, and he bristled slightly.

"No. I'm just here for Christmas." He said, shaking his head. "I live in New York City now."

Her eyes widened. "New York City? That's where I live too."

He nodded, trying to remain indifferent to the news. "So what are you doing here then? I didn't think you'd ever step foot in this town again."

She dropped her gaze a little. "I figured it was time. My family's been hounding me to visit more. We take a lot of trips together now that I'm making the big bucks, but it's the same as a holiday at home."

He nodded again, not knowing how to respond, and he grabs blindly a carton that he's not sure was what he even needed. "Well. I hope you have a nice Christmas," he said, turning to leave, but she took another step toward him.

"Ned—" her voice faltered and she cleared her throat. "It was nice seeing you again. You look…really good."

"Thanks," he said tightly. "I don't have a professional team of stylists, but I try to take care of myself."

She frowned, the jug of milk clutched against her chest. "Ned…"

"No, I mean it as a compliment," he replied. "If I had to deal with the whole world staring at me in my underwear, I'd want to make sure I looked good too."

She looked away, her face solemn, but eventually she shrugged. "It's not exactly what I wanted for myself either," she said quietly. He's not sure why, but he lingered, waiting to hear her out. "I went to the city to try the writing thing like you always told me I should. But I wasn't good enough. No one wanted to read my stuff and I just kept getting rejection letters. But they did want to look at me, I guess. To put me in their clothes, or to take them off of me. I needed the money badly, so…I did what I needed to and now I've dated a super bowl champion and am the face of a lingerie company."

He stared at her silently as he listens. "Well, they're idiots," he said finally. She looked at him quizzically, so he elaborated. "You write better than ninety-nine percent of authors out there these days. So they're idiots for not wanting to read your stuff."

He meant it, and maybe she didn't deserve to hear it from him, but he can't stop himself from saying it. She smiled fondly at him before ducking her head.

"Thank you." Her face sobered, though. "I'm sorry, Ned. For everything, for—"

"We don't have to do this," he interrupted anxiously. "It's fine, really."

"Please, I need to say this," she begged earnestly. "I didn't want to leave you. I never wanted to leave you. I wanted to get out of this place, but it was never about you. I never wanted to break up with you."

"But you did," he said bitterly, and he hated himself for saying it, hated himself for revealing his weakness to her.

She looked sad like there were unshed tears filling up her eyes. "I'm sorry. I really am. I needed to leave, but it was cruel of me to leave the way I did. I was an idiot. I was a kid, and I was being selfish. I wanted you to come with me, but I couldn't ask you to do that, not when you were starting college in the fall, not when you could make something of yourself."

"I would've come with you," he whispered quietly. "I would've come with you in a heartbeat." She doesn't say anything, her eyes searching his face, and he sighed. "It doesn't matter. It was years ago. We've both moved on, right? You said you were dating a super-bowl champion."

"Yeah, he was kind of a dick. We dated for like four months and he cheated on me," she laughed half-heartedly, and he swallowed. "But I got free super bowl tickets for my dad out of him."

"You look great, Katie. And I'm glad things are going... well for you." He can't quite bring himself to be 'happy' about it, though. "I should…I gotta get going." He started to leave, but she stopped him again.

"Wait. I—I'll be in town through the New Year. Maybe we can catch up over coffee sometime before then? Or…before you leave?" She said.

He shouldn't do it. It's a bad idea, to be in her proximity for an indefinite amount of time. He's not a weak man normally, but he's always had a weakness when it came to Katie Clancy, and looking at her now, he knew nothing's changed in that regard.

"How about now?" He asked, taking that leap. "We could go get a drink or two."

"Drinks are good too," she replied, smiling.

* * *

Several drinks—and eight "All I Want for Christmas is You"'s—later, the bartender coerced Katie and Ned into trying a couple of Santa Shots. They were red and green and tasted like candy canes, and before he knew it, he and Katie had each downed three.

"Dude, I know this is your job and all, but I think we need to slow it down," Ned suggested. "Unless you want me to spread my holiday cheer all over the bar."

Katie, cheeks flushed, her coat and scarf ditched long ago, peeled off her sweater. "Having trouble keeping up?" she asked, adding her sweater to the pile accumulating on the nearest stool.

"Yes," he said, one hundred percent not checking her out. He was very proud of himself for maintaining eye contact. "I am not ashamed to admit a girl can outdrink me, even if it's a tiny girl like yourself."

"Tiny?" She echoed.

"Um, petite?" His eyes wandered from the green bra strap peeking out to the silver chain that disappeared behind her tight black tank top. Some kind of magnetic force yanked his gaze down lower to her breasts where he lingered a few seconds too long.

Was he being obvious? He was being obvious. His reaction time was slowed way down. He refocused on her face, but then he started thinking about her lips and how soft they used to feel.

"Good to know you know a synonym, but neither of them was flattering," she said. "And I'm 5'8". That's taller than average."

"Sorry, I'm a little drunk." He sighed.

Katie smiled, but she didn't laugh. While she had a beautiful smile, he had been unable to make her laugh all night. It was high on his to-do list, just under kissing her, although he doubted that would happen. Especially after everything they'd been through.

"Should we do another shot?" He asked.

"You may each have just one more shot," the bartender announced in his best authoritative voice. "Last call."

"Already?" Katie asked.

She pulled out her cell phone and frowned. Ned recognized a change in her demeanor, although he wasn't sure what it was. Did she regret spending her entire night talking to him? He thought she had been enjoying herself, especially when he had launched into a rant about her love of cheesy Hallmark movies. She hadn't laughed, but she had smirked and rolled her eyes, and told him he might want to pursue a new career path.

She could have left at any time. There had been no obligation to stay.

"It doesn't feel like it's almost two," she said.

"I had a good time catching up," he said.

"Me too," she replied.

The bartender served them their final two shots for the evening. Katie stood up, threw hers back with a tilt of her head, and without a warning, pulled Ned into a kiss.

Ned's world narrowed until there was only Katie's warm mouth, her hand on his thigh, her fingers tangled in his hair. The bartender, the barstool, his frustration with his friends earlier, even the ninth rendition of that god-awful Mariah Carey song faded to nothing as Katie's tongue brushed against his lips. He opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, but she abruptly pulled away and slipped her sweater on. Ned swayed, nearly falling off his stool. The room was spinning, but he wasn't sure how much blame he could place on the alcohol. He watched her tie her scarf loosely around her neck and pull on her coat.

She had tasted like peppermint and vodka, and she had made the whole world stop, but she was leaving now, and he would have to return home to an empty apartment and a long night awake with his thoughts. "Do you live near here?" she asked, buttoning up her coat.

The question startled him. Had Katie Clancy really said that to him? Or was he so drunk that he was hallucinating the question he most wanted to hear?

He played it safe and nodded.

"Do you want to show me where you live?" She asked against, laughing a little.

This time he managed a simple: "Yes."

She took his hand and pulled him toward the exit. He followed without a backward glance at the bar, too distracted to pay his tab at the thought that soon enough he'd be removing the layers Katie had just pulled on, unwrapping her like a Christmas present.

* * *

The flurries from earlier had turned into heavy snow during the hours they had spent inside the bar. A cab idled beside the curb waiting for them. Apparently, Katie had called ten minutes earlier. Ned gave the driver his address once he and Kaie were in the backseat. He worried that they would lapse into an awkward silence or that she would regret her brazen decision, but as soon as the car pulled away from the curb, her mouth was on his once more.

She snaked her hand between the buttons of his coat, laying her palm flat against his chest. He grazed her cheeks, icy from the brief time they were out in the cold. Already her skin was warming from the heat blasting in the car, the snowflakes melting, dripping down her face. He fulfilled his earlier urge and wiped them away.

The cab driver loudly explained his policy on charging for stains. Ned barely heard him.

After the cab dropped them off in front of Ned's apartment building, Katie fell into step behind him. Her footsteps were almost soundless, and she kept her hands to herself. He kept glancing over his shoulder to make sure she hadn't run off. It was like a dream come true, seeing her again.

He knew he was very close to overanalyzing this situation, saying something stupid, and ruining the whole night. As they climbed the two flights of stairs that led to his apartment, he decided to shut his brain off. He would not think or hope or plan on wanting anything from her beyond tonight, in case she didn't. Tonight would unfold organically, and if that meant Katie finding her way into his bed, then good. (Actually, great. Amazing. Perfect.) And if not, if they just sat on his couch and talked for another couple of hours, then it would still be a wonderful night.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Katie had him pressed against it, her hands unbuttoning his coat and roaming the planes of his stomach as soon as his coat hit the ground.

"Be careful," he said as she kissed his neck. "That's my favorite coat."

She laughed and slipped off her jacket, throwing it on top of his. "Are you going to give me a tour?" she asked, glancing around the room.

"Of course," he said. "This is my apartment." He waved his arms with a flourish before sitting down. "And this is my couch."

She climbed onto his lap, grabbed a fistful of his hair, and pulled his head back. She looked down at him, her lips twisted into a coy smile, and rocked her hips against him. He bit back a groan.

"That was a great tour," she giggled.

And then there were no more words, no more jokes, just her tongue in his mouth, her fingers raking through his hair, and her hips—oh god, her hips. He no longer kept quiet as she ground against him. His moaning only encouraged her as she ripped off her sweater and threw it over her shoulder. His shirt and her tank followed soon after. Her skin was hot against his, like a fire burning through his chest. She kissed a trail down his neck and ran her tongue across his collarbone. He unhooked her bra with one hand—the other too preoccupied with cupping her ass—and she broke contact long enough to pull the straps down her arms.

He stared at her breasts, relieved he had turned off his brain. Otherwise, he would have said something stupid like wow or thank you. This was not the first pair of breasts he had seen. What was wrong with him?

"Don't gawk," she teased. "It's rude."

He kissed the hollow of her throat, the freckles that dotted her shoulders, the space between her breasts. When he finally took her nipple into his mouth, she gasped and arched her back, her silver chain hitting him in the face.

She pulled away. "Sorry."

"Do you want to take it off?" he asked.

He felt the change in her as much as he saw it. It was like a wall going up, the heat disappearing from her body. He wanted to take a step backward not just to resume kissing but also to return her to her formerly happy state. She looked sad all of a sudden and a little lost.

"You don't have to," he said quietly.

"Can you undo it?" She leaned into his chest and brushed her braid out of the way.

He tried to ignore how good her breasts felt pressed against his chest and focus on finding the clasp in the dark. His chin rested on her shoulder as he squinted, examining the chain. He undid the clasp and handed her the necklace.

"Thank you," she said, placing it carefully on the coffee table behind her. She stared at him for a moment, half-naked and gorgeous but surprisingly sad. He wouldn't mind stopping here if she would allow him to hold her close and try to bring her smile back. "Kind," she said, running a finger along his jawline. "Friendly. Charming. Sweet." It took him a moment to realize she was listing synonyms just as he had done back at the bar. He liked her words much more than the ones he had come up with. "Funny. Handsome. Strong."

"Those last three aren't synonyms," he said.

"Shut up, Ned," she kissed him again, this time slowly and carefully. There was no fever in her touch, but a different kind of intimacy instead. He felt an explanation in her kiss, an apology. He pulled her closer, tasted the compliments on her tongue. He wanted to remember her words, this moment, no matter what happened next.

"Can we finish the tour now?" she mumbled into his ear.

His head spun. All of his blood had rushed south, and the alcohol was clouding his vision, and she was so impossibly beautiful and strange to be around again. After six years she was a mystery to be solved, a map to be followed. But she was also just a woman, he reminded himself. And she seemed to want him as much as he wanted her.

"The alcohol is messing with my head. I can't seem to remember where I left the bedroom," he said.

She laughed again. It was a wonder she hadn't been laughing the whole night, the way she gave them up so easily now.

"Who said anything about the bedroom? That's awfully presumptuous of you." She licked her lips as she stood and held out her hand.

He pressed his lips against her wrist, and she stared at him as if trying to work out a puzzle. "I thought you weren't going to sleep with me," he teased.

"Don't get cocky," she warned. "I could still leave."

He didn't doubt her. She was the type of woman who would walk out half-dressed, no matter how turned on she was, just to prove a point. He loved that about her.

"I guess I'll just finish the tour myself," she said with a sigh. She was halfway down the hall before he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder.

She let out a yell of surprise. He charged into the bedroom and dropped her onto the bed. He watched her breasts bounce as she landed, listened to her musical laughter as she held out a hand in invitation, and then the apartment fell quiet as he lowered himself on top of her and found her lips once more.

Katie still has the mole, his favorite one by her belly button, and the one on her thigh. Ned made sure to kiss it every time they make love, and every night before they fall asleep.


	9. Famous Singer AU

**A/N: Katie's a famous singer and returns home upon her mother's request. No Lana or Emma in this and sadly, Jim is dead. But there's a slight bright side, you'll see. Hope you enjoy xx Mariah**

* * *

Katie stared at the faded yellow house, taking in the chipped paint, swing on the front porch and the gutter hanging at a rakish angle, it was definitely a bit worse for wear, but still standing, just like her. Her father had built that house with his own hands. She had been born there, as had her sister. She knew with crystalline certainty that they had been happy here. She crammed down the tumult of emotions that rioted in her heart, took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other until she reached the front door.

As she muscled her guitar case and suitcase through the front door, Katie stopped and breathed in deeply, savoring the smell of lavender and woodsmoke and that indescribable home smell that was both of parents, even after all these years, made the tension in her shoulders relax. Damn, it was good to be home. And it pissed her off.

Having spent the last five years traveling around the world, she was amazed at how just the smell of a place and the quality of light could be so unequivocally home. And how a house, even an empty one that she had fled from like it was on fire, could feel like a solace. He came unbidden to her mind in the wake of the word home, but she gently pushed the thought of him away. That was done now. She'd destroyed that piece of her, obliterated it so thoroughly that it had taken years to let the dust settle, to rebuild her heart enough to risk coming back here.

When her mother, now living abroad, had called to suggest they sell the old house, Katie had gritted her teeth that this job had fallen on her shoulders. But she also knew it was time. It was probably also time to try to forgive her mother, but she wasn't even sure what she was supposed to forgive Melinda for at this point. For when she disappeared into her grief after her father died and left her at barely eighteen to practically take care of her little sister? For running away and leaving her alone again?

Katie sighed. She needed to tackle one thing at a time and today was the house.

As she finally pulled herself through the front door, like a cork released from a bottleneck, she was shocked when Mackenzie's head poked out of the kitchen. Katie's guitar case slipped off from her hands and landed with a thump on the floor.

Her little sister's face lit up with surprise and delight as she asked, "What are you doing home?"

"I had a break in my tour," but she didn't finish the rest of her thought, not knowing how to say that it was just time. Time to come home, deal with the house because their mom had finally asked her to. Time to face her demons. Time to deal with the disaster of a broken heart that had made her a refugee from the place she loved most. Or should she tell her sister that she'd been dreaming of their home for the past six months?

She couldn't kick the niggling thought that somehow her father had wanted her to come home. Since she couldn't say any of those things, she pressed her lips together and shrugged.

"Sorry, of course, you don't need a reason, Katie. It's your house too! It's just such a surprise to see you," Mackenzie said, squeezing her into a tight embrace. "A wonderful surprise," she added with a smile, "C'mon, I'm just making lunch."

Perplexed, Katie followed her little sister into the kitchen. She was grateful that the twenty-two-year-old had kept an eye on the house, but she was just surprised that there was any kind of food in the house. But as her sister placed a steaming mug of strong black tea and a bowl of yogurt with strawberries and granola in front of Katie, she was nothing but grateful. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten something so simple and good.

"Tell me everything," Mackenzie said breathlessly, settling across from her at the worn kitchen table. "I feel like we haven't talked in a year, but it was like last week. I thought you were supposed to be opening for Ariana Grande for the second leg of her tour too?"

Katie glanced up just as her sister's blond hair fell across her face, and she watched for one excruciating second as her sister's eyes flicked onto hers. That same pain-strikingly blue that she hadn't seen in so long. Their father's eyes.

She stared at the strawberries, watching the morning sun glistening off them like jewels until her breathing steadied and the tears receded. "Yeah, I still am. There are three different artists. I have a few weeks off while the other two perform before it's my turn again," she said around the lump in her throat, "So tell me everything I've missed."

Mackenzie gave her a small sympathetic smile and launched into a monologue detailing wonderfully mundane goings-on in their small town of Grandview. After the better part of an hour and an entire pot of tea, Katie felt caught up on all the local gossip, all except the person she most craved and dreaded hearing about.

"How's Ned?" he asked quietly, trying and failing to maintain eye contact as she added, "How's married life treating him?"

It had only taken about a year and a half after her midnight flight to find out that Ned had gotten married. Whether she admitted it to herself or not, it was one of the reasons she'd stayed away so long. She knew what she had done, had no delusions that he was hers, but she couldn't, even after five years away, imagine Ned as anyone else's.

Mackenzie's throat clearing made her look up. "It's not. I think him and Amber split up last year. The divorce was final like six months ago."

"You're kidding," she sighed, her shoulders slacking. Even if she hadn't wanted Ned married to anyone but her, but she didn't want him to get his heart broken again either. "What happened?"

She shook her head, almost incredulously before explaining, "Yeah, it was messed up. I heard around that she cheated and screwed some guy he worked with," she waved a dismissive hand and added, "I've seen him around. I've been living here the past year and he's dropped by a couple of times." She looked up curiously and Mackenzie smiled. "Every time he asks about you."

Her mind was racing, but the only coherent thought that seemed able to fight its way through was that she needed to see Ned.

Mackenzie glanced up at the clock and exclaimed, "OH shit. I am so going to be late for work." In a tornado of clothes being stripped off, she watched her sister grab her scrubs that were sitting on the nearby couch and once she had them on, Mackenzie pulled her blond hair up into a pony and she grabbed her purse."I probably won't be home until around midnight. I'm working the ER tonight." Then her sister was out the door.

* * *

After a few hours of sitting in her thoughts about Ned, Katie began to pace. She should just let sleeping dogs lie. Just deal with the house and leave. But she felt like she needed to see him. Maybe she could just stroll by the police station. Maybe he'd be sitting at his desk, reading a file and drinking coffee. Maybe she could catch a wisp of his voice if she walked inside for a second, a tendril of his warm laugh, a flash of his green eyes… Maybe that would be enough.

Swiping her keys off the table and sliding her feet back into her well-worn black ankle boots, Katie hopped into her car and drove towards town, admonishing herself to slow down.

It was a couple of miles and she chastised herself the entire way there, telling herself that just because Ned and Amber had split up that was no guarantee he was single. And besides, it didn't matter whether he was because he probably never wanted to talk to her again anyway after how she'd treated him. She turned back towards the house twice, horrified by the memory of her behavior the last time she saw Ned. But the promise of seeing him again, after she'd wished for a second chance with him a thousand times over the past five years, was impossible to ignore.

When she reached the police station, she ducked into the alley feeling like she might throw up. She took several slow, deep breaths to calm her racing heart, employing the same techniques she used before stepping onstage. This didn't have to be a big deal, she assured herself, just an old friend dropping in on a buddy.

Staring down at her faded jeans and old, wrinkled, and now slightly sweaty, Ramones t-shirt with the hole in the left armpit, she wished she'd thought to change her clothes before barging in on him. But she was here now and if she lost her nerve, she wasn't sure she'd have the guts to face him again. Tucking the wisps of hair that had come loose from her bun behind her ears, she pushed off the wall and walked up to the police station door and slipped quietly inside.

The station was bustling, as usual, many different people sitting by desks talking to different detectives and policemen.

When Katie didn't spot Ned as quick as she'd like, she was about to spin around and run away but saw someone stand up and walk toward her. She cursed herself for not leaving quicker. Now she had to at least talk to one person.

"Hey, can I help you miss?" A tall, nice-looking red-haired policeman asked.

"Ah, yes. I'm actually looking for Officer Banks." She said rather quietly, tucking her head. She did not need someone to recognize her and ask for a photo. Not right now. "Is he around by any chance?"

The man nodded. "Ned should be around here somewhere," the red-haired man said. "Find a seat and he'll be out in a minute."

As Katie sat in a nearby chair, her face heated as she thought of seeing Ned again. She could actually hear her heart throbbing at the memory of his hands caressing her bare skin, sliding around her body to press her against him. She closed her eyes, remembering for one fleeting second how it had felt to belong to him.

Her eyes snapped open as someone dropped something. A stack of files, that sounded like paper mill getting caught in a tornado. And then he was standing there, twelve feet away, with his arms crossed. Katie's breath caught in her throat, she felt frozen in place. Was it possible that he was even more handsn? Ned's face had lost the boyish roundness and his shoulders, always broad, were straining against the cotton of his uniformed blue shirt as he bent down to help pick up some of the scattered papers.

As he was busy picking up the papers, she studied him. Though his smile was as warm as ever, it didn't light up his eyes like it used to. And those eyes. She had dreamed of them thousands of times, though she knew every expression that lay hidden in their stormy-sea depths. But the weariness she saw there, accented by the dark circles like thumbprint bruises beneath his eyes, was new.

The urge to wrap him in her arms, to run her fingertips over those dark smudges, to feel his solidity under her hands came on so swiftly she was grateful there were several people dividing them lest she probably had lunged across the counter and clung to him like a desperate barnacle.

This was a terrible idea. Why had she come here? What did she think was going to happen? That Ned was going to welcome her home with open arms? Forgive her on the spot for her heartless betrayal, her cruelty. This was madness, barging in on him at work. She had needed to see him and she had. He was everything she remembered, more even, but it was madness to think he'd want to see her.

She stood up slowly, gently turning and going toward the door.

"Katie?" he asked, his voice as rich and deep as she remembered it. Ned was still kneeled down, picking up a piece of paper, but it sounded as though he was standing beside her.

She froze, feeling like she'd been caught sneaking away from a crime scene. She supposed she had. She squared her shoulders and turned slowly towards him, bracing herself for whatever he had to say. God knew she deserved it.

But when her eyes met his, it wasn't the expected fury she saw. It was worse, it looked more like hurt.

"You're back?" he asked.

She nodded, feeling incapable of explaining the nuances of her return when her voice didn't seem to work. He waited, standing up and walking toward her, she realized she needed to respond. She cleared her throat and rasped out, "I came back to deal with the house. My mom asked me to."

"What does that mean? Get rid of it?" He asked.

"I honestly don't know. It's too hard for my mom to be there. Last we talked she was in Morroco," she sighed. "Mack seems to be living there and the house was done and paid for before my dad died, but I don't know."

It was overwhelming, talking to him like this. Choking out words when her heart felt like an open wound and the only true things she could communicate to him would require her lips on his skin. Why had she come here? What had she been thinking? She feared she would burst into tears at any second. She needed to get out of there before she broke down and begged his forgiveness in front of the entire town.

Seeming to sense her distress and miraculously wanting to spare her, he said curtly, "I'll stop by later."

"That'd be great," she breathed in relief giving him a weak smile of gratitude.

He nodded, his expression unreadable, as he turned back towards his colleague.

* * *

Ned arrived at her house as the sun was dipping below the tree line. It was still sticky and warm, but the sky was starting to soften. Katie had showered and wore a faded red sundress that she found in her mother's closet with one of her dad's old jean jackets. It made her feel different, like herself but with facets of her mother and father. And she realized that she carried precious pieces of both of them inside of her. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she thought of them both as people again, not just fragments of her broken heart.

She watched from the front porch as Ned slid out of his new-looking pick-up truck, solid and graceful, sure of his body in a new way. Instead of looking at her, he was shading his eyes and staring up at the roof.

"That gutter's come loose," he said impassively, gesturing with his chin.

"Hello to you too," she said. Katie felt raw and sweaty and ridiculous for having worn the dress. What did she think was going to happen? That he was going to love her again? Her careful preparations seemed ridiculous now, embarrassing even. "So, what, you're a contractor now?"

"No, just pointing it out. You've never been very good at seeing what's right in front of you." He shrugged. "If you're gonna sell the place, you'll need to fix it up a bit."

"I don't have to do anything." She felt defensive on behalf of the house and possibly herself as he walked up to the wall beside the porch.

"Suit yourself," he shrugged, running a finger down the cracked siding.

"Did you come here to lecture me?" She felt close to tears again, but this time they were born of angry, hot, frustration.

He chuckled mirthlessly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not entirely sure why I came, but it wasn't to lecture you." He glanced at her then. "I could help if you wanted. Tomorrow around 2:00. Do you have a ladder?"

She bit back her natural response that she didn't need his help. This was all going so wrong so quickly that it made her dizzy. She had meant to apologize, to have him kindly and gracefully forgive her for breaking his heart. And then she would leave Grandview probably forever, leaving all of her demons behind. But Ned was walking back towards his truck, glancing over his shoulder with eyebrows raised in question.

"I don't know," she said, realizing he was waiting to hear if she had a ladder.

"That's fine, I'll bring one. See you tomorrow." And Ned climbed back into his truck.

She stood, baffled, fists planted on her hips as he backed out of the driveway in a graceful arc.

When he stopped to switch gears, he was stalled a few feet away from her and she could see the golden hairs on his forearm as he leaned out the window, his eyes finally meeting hers as he said, "That's a really nice dress on you, Katie."

Then there was nothing but the percussive thudding of her heart as he drove away. "Damnit," she muttered to herself under her breath, scuffing the toe of her shoe against the wood planks of the porch.

She ran through the brief altercation she'd just had with him, feeling like a perfect asshole for not even apologizing for the last time she'd seen him almost six years prior. Instead of wallow in it, she spent the evening packing up random boxes of things; books off the bookshelves, her father's office that no one had been in since he'd died. She tried to focus on each task and keep her mind from wandering. It was after midnight when she collapsed into her childhood bed in complete exhaustion.

Waking up late the next morning, she felt oddly hungover, like the emotions of the day before had depleted her in some vital way. She made a mug of tea, took it outside and walked around the house taking inventory, much like Ned had. He was right, there were a number of things that needed to be addressed. She shouldn't be surprised that the place had fallen into disrepair. Her father wasn't around to do anything about it anymore. She made a list and drove into town for supplies.

As she piled caulk and gutter joints and a new drill into her cart, Katie responded to the various nods and smiles of greetings from her neighbors. She was surprised at how welcome she felt, how easy it was to fall back into place. When her old classmate Nicole rang her up at the register, she gushed about how excited she was for her next album, how thrilled everyone in town was that she'd done so well out in the world, but that it was great to see her home. She wasn't thrown off guard when more than five people asked to take a photo with her.

When she got back to the house, Ned's truck was already in the driveway. Damn, he was early.

"Hey," she said as she grabbed the bag of tools from her car.

"Hey," he responded, looking a little contrite and markedly more friendly than he had last night. He walked forward and took the bag from her arms. "Ready to get started?"

Her body hummed with his closeness and the brush of his hand against her arm. She swallowed hard and nodded.

Katie was no slouch; she'd been helping her dad fix things around the house since as long as she could remember before he was gone. But as she and Ned crossed things off the project list, she found herself marveling at how surprisingly handy he'd gotten. As he pulled off his sweaty shirt revealing an equally sweaty white tank top that showed his broad shoulders, thickly muscled arms that tapered down into those immensely capable hands, she couldn't stop herself from wondering what else he might have gotten better at since she saw him last.

Her emotions felt like a tetherball match, swinging frantically back and forth between the sadness that each memory brought and the distraction of having him so close.

Taking a shaky breath, she dropped the screwdriver and headed into the house for water. While she drank a glass of water, she leaned against the doorway to the dining room absently running her fingernail over the growth chart her dad etched into the wood as her and her siblings all grew. There were probably over fifty different marks from over the years and she smiled at where the first one for her was.

The memory of standing against in the doorway, a look of intense concentration on her father's blue eyes as he marked her height on Katie's ninth birthday, hit her hard. Her heart swelled painfully at the memory of being twelve and sitting next to her dad doing science homework. He was just so good at helping her name elements on the periodic table. Katie barely felt the tears start as she glanced into the living room, picturing her dad peeking out the window as her first date to the fall formal walked up to the front door. She heard the rusty-spring squeak of the screen door and could perfectly hear her dad calling her name in that loud-laughter kind of way as he asked to come into the other room.

But as she blinked through the tears it was Ned standing in the doorway. His face contorted with concern as stepped towards her, asking, "Katie, what is it?"

She threw herself into his arms, the sob already clawing it's way up her throat. "I miss my dad so much," she gasped before the tears stole her voice and her breath.

She clung to Ned as eight years of suppressed grief wracked her body and he held her just as tight, murmuring words of comfort and cradling her head as she wept. When the deluge of tears had ebbed to watery hiccups and she thought she could talk again, she rinsed her face in the sink and dried it with a dishtowel. Ned stood, worry etched into every line of his face and waited. Throwing the towel over her shoulder, she grabbed two beers from the fridge and led him onto the porch. They sat side by side sipping their beers until she was able to say what she had come up with what to say.

"I'm sorry, Ned," she whispered.

"For what?" he asked cautiously.

She took a deep breath and faced him. "For everything? For breaking up with you over a voicemail. For not being straight with you. For not being brave enough to tell you why I left. Maybe even for leaving."

There was a painfully long pause while he stared out at the darkening sky before he asked, "Did you think I wouldn't understand?" The hurt was palpable in his eyes. "Did you not trust me?"

"No. Nothing like that. I think I just went a little crazy." She shrugged, but her shoulders felt heavy. "I thought running away would help and that not being here would make it better, so the second Mack graduated and I got a back-up singing gig, I left."

"I know," he said. And she looked up from the label she was peeling from her bottle to make sure she'd heard him right. "I've listened to every one of your songs. Each one is at least half a suicide note. I could barely stand to listen to them, but I also couldn't stop." His eyes searched hers as he leaned a bit closer, "It's like everything with you. Even when it's not good for me, I can't stop wanting it. It ruined my marriage."

She looked down at her hands. He was right, she wasn't good for him. She was the human equivalent of a sinkhole, a bottomless pit. "What happened?" She asked.

She couldn't entirely believe what Mackenzie had said and wondered if there was even a flicker of truth to it.

He took another pull on his beer and looked out at the yard. "I guess I thought it would help," he parroted her words back to her with a wry smile. "That committing to someone completely like that would force my heart to love someone else. But I've come to understand that it doesn't work that way. At least not for me. What I feel for you only happens once. In fact, I think once is more than most people get. Whether you meant to or not, you staked your claim and now I have to live with that. You're it for me, Katie."

She took a shaky breath and whispered the only question that mattered, "Still? Do you still want me?"

He licked his bottom lip as he stared back and forth between her eyes, searching for something. "I told you," he breathed, "I can't seem to stop."

She closed the small space between them and pressed her lips to his. A small moan escaped her as his mouth opened beneath hers. He tasted of beer and chapstick, smelled of sunscreen and clean sweat, felt like forgiveness and hope. His kiss blotted out everything else. Finally, Katie found the anchor she had been searching for. She needed more. She never wanted it to end. Trying to simultaneously put her bottle down and climb onto his lap, she spilled beer on her foot before pushing up to kneel in between his knees.

He ran his hand up her neck, weaving it into the hair at the base of her skull, which he gripped like he feared she would flee while his eyes were closed. And part of her did want to run, but she ignored it, willfully stomped it down and kissed him harder. It felt like the blood flow returning to an arm that has fallen asleep, gone numb, that pleasure/pain sensation that makes you suck in a breath. And like the rush of awakening, the revival of a deadened limb, her heart tingled and throbbed.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, needing the leverage to deepen the kiss that was already as deep as the sea. They kissed for minutes or hours, she wasn't sure which, only that she needed more. But then he was pulling away. She felt dazed and disoriented by the break in the kiss and she searched his eyes for the meaning of the rude interruption.

He squinted at her like he was trying to decipher a puzzle. He righted her, with steady hands on her waist, then nervously braced his hands on his thighs. "Dinner," he said firmly. "I'm starving."

She was hungry, but not as ravenous as she was for his touch. She felt cheated as he stood and walked into the house and she chastised herself for thinking he would just fall into her arms and want to stay there. Wanting someone and trusting them were two very different things.

Sighing, she dusted off her knees and followed Ned into the house.

She could hear the telltale sounds of him already starting to cook, water running, cupboards closing, the insistent hiss and click of the gas burner as it lit. She needed a minute to collect herself so she wandered down the dark hallway, trailing her fingers along the wood railing until it was out of her reach, to calm her racing heart.

She stopped at a picture still mounted on the wall, barely visible over the railing, but she knew which one it was. It was a picture of her mom, Mackenzie and herself making various faces: her mother's wife, electric smile, Mackenzie beatific grin, made all the more enchanting by two missing front teeth, and Katie's self-conscious smirk, eyes rolled exaggeratedly to the side as her mother's arm was pulled around her. That's what the picture showed. What it didn't show was her dad behind the camera, clutching his heart with one hand as he exclaimed that they were the three most beautiful girls in the world. The memory stabbed at her, but also glowed.

She rested her forehead against the wall, taking deep steadying breaths. When she opened her eyes, Ned was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking torn.

"Dinner's ready," he said softly.

"I didn't expect it to be so hard, being back here. Or maybe I did." She shook her head, feeling shaky and realizing how much she needed to eat. As she passed him in the doorway, he rubbed a small circle against the small of her back in the most comforting gesture. She was amazed at his generosity. "I guess it's what I get for bottling it up for so long."

"Are you regretting coming home?" he asked, not meeting her eyes as he heaped the simple pasta dish crammed with cherry tomatoes, green beans, and parmesan that he must have found in the fridge.

"A little," she said. He nodded, but still didn't look up, stirring his pasta around on his plate. She couldn't stop herself from adding honestly, "But there's nowhere else I'd rather be. Being here is a wound and a balm all at the same time."

The look he gave her then was so naked with longing, that this time she looked away.

What was she doing? As much as she wanted him, she couldn't stay here. She couldn't allow herself to hurt him again. Get in, get done, get out. She cleared her voice and forced herself to add, "I'll really miss this place once I'm back on tour."

They ate the deliciously simple meal in excruciating silence, suffused with all the things they couldn't say.

After the dishes were dry, he offered to help her pack. As if there was no end to his kindness or her corresponding ability to endure it. They worked in different rooms, painfully aware of each other, but achingly separate.

At some point, she realized she hadn't heard him for a while.

When she crept into the kitchen, following the dim light, she found Ned hunched over the kitchen table. It took her a moment, as her eyes adjusted to the light, to see that he was writing down something. She stood in the doorway, admiring the damp cotton of his shirt spread taut across his back. She watched as the long muscles undulated beneath the thin fabric. She followed the ridges up from his tapered waist to his broad shoulders, down to where the sleeves stretched tight around his biceps. He ran his hand over the top of his head before grasping the back of his neck. She wanted desperately to smooth the wrinkles in his shirt, to feel the flex of his muscles under her palms, to revel in the strength and solidity of him and the fact that he was actually there with her.

But she hadn't been invited to touch him and she knew better than to take anything more from him without permission. So she just stood in the doorway, wrapping the humid warmth of the night around her instead and relishing the rightness of having him so close.

At some point, his pen left the paper and she shuffled quietly in and poured him a glass of water from the sink. He didn't look up as he thanked her, tapping his pen on the pad. "I felt so empty after you left," he started as though picking up a thread of conversation, "Not just empty, but insubstantial. I felt like I was disappearing like I could float away like a piece of paper or a dandelion being blown in the breeze. It was terrifying. I think I hoped that tying myself to another person, anchoring myself to someone else, would keep me tethered to this life. That's why I married Amber. Even when I knew she didn't really want to be with me for me."

She had no idea what to say. She knew what it felt like to disappear into grief, to feel like a hollow shell rolling along the bottom of the sea with the whims of the tide. She cringed at the knowledge that she was the source of his pain. She took the few steps to reach him and waited, desperate to touch him until he leaned into her. Relieved, she cradled his head against her belly, running her fingers through his hair.

He nodded against her. "We're both broken, Katie, but our jagged edges fit together. Please tell me you feel this too. I feel like I'm going crazy. Please say you want this." There was a note of pleading in his voice which made her pretty sure she would have agreed to anything he asked.

"I've missed you so much, Ned," she murmured, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "You were the only one who ever made sense for me. My music has never been the same."

"I always wondered why you never used that song," he smiled. "The one you wrote about the lake house."

She smiled, blushing, as she met his gaze again. "I didn't think I could sing it every night to a crowd of people. But maybe my next album," she winked.

He tipped his head back and met her lips. There was something indescribably intimate about hovering over him like this, like he was praying to her, baring his throat, his heart, to her, utterly defenseless. But she didn't want any imbalance between them. She climbed onto him and slid into his lap without breaking the kiss. His hands were on her hips and as she rubbed and rocked over his growing erection, she wasn't sure which of them was guiding her movements.

They were of one mind, one need.

He lifted her onto the table, so she was perched on the edge before sliding her cutoffs down her thighs, caressing the backs of her knees and calves with his nails as he pulled them over one foot and then the other. She leaned toward him to scoot back into his lap, but he stopped her with his broad hand planted against her chest. Confused she looked up to find his eyes burning, deep and fathomless, waiting for hers. Without breaking eye contact, he gently pushed her back against the table, pulling each of her legs over his shoulders. Propped on her elbows, she watched him as he placed a soft kiss on the inside of each thigh.

As he kissed his way up her inner thigh, he mumbled into her skin, "You tell me if I should stop."

And she did feel like she should stop him. If anyone deserved to be pleasured and worshiped here it was him. But his eyes were on fire and his cheeks flushed pink with a desire so pure and fervent it was undeniable. The first gentle swipe of his tongue left her quivering, her entire body quaking with hunger.

Since she and Ned had broken up, orgasms had lost their intensity. She still came and it felt good, but the pleasure had been muted to a prosaic, somewhat anticlimactic, release. It made sense to her that something had broken, that her body had dulled the depths, and correspondingly the peaks, in a bid for survival. But as Ned's mouth devoured her, licking and sucking like he was dying of thirst and she was an oasis, she was stunned at the ferocity of the pleasure wracking her body. It was a liquid fire burning through her veins, turning her limbs molten with pulsing need.

She gripped the edge of the table, digging her nails into the wood, almost fearing the bliss that was ripping through her body. Then he worked two thick fingers into her trembling body and she keened as the combination of sensations sent her sailing over the edge. She cried out as the pleasure coursed through her in waves of ecstasy spreading from her core to the tips of her toes. She was still panting, gripping the table as if it was the only thing tethering her to the physical world when Ned stood and scooped her up into his arms. She wanted to protest, to insist that he put her down as he carried her bridal-style up the stairs and into her bedroom, but she just wove her arms around him and burrowed her face into the hot skin his neck.

Sitting her gently on the bed, he took a step away from her and she realized that she was still wearing her tank top and quickly peeled it off. She watched as Ned removed a condom from his wallet and set it on the bedside table. Through the lingering haze of gauzy pleasure, she realized it was her turn to act. She sat forward and began to unbutton his jeans. He reached behind him, pulling his t-shirt off over his head. She wanted to make him feel as worshiped as he had made her feel, but right now she needed him inside of her.

She discovered that he loved with his whole body. She was overwhelmed by the sensations of him, his thick leg pushing between hers, the fingertips of one hand running from her hip, over the sensitive skin of her rib cage to her breast, rolling her peaked nipple between his fingers, his other hand tangled in her hair as he tugged lightly to expose the column of her neck to his mouth, his hot breath ghosting over her over-sensitized skin. The shock of losing contact with him as he slid on the condom made her realize she needed to savor every second of their time together. By the time his fingers parted her folds, she was dizzy with need.

"Please, Ned," she begged, too intoxicated by him to feel ashamed of the raw, pleading tone in her voice, "I need you."

The small groan of unrestrained rapture he made in response nearly undid her. She had meant to say "fuck me", to cheapen this, restrict it to a physical act, but it was so clearly a lie that she couldn't let those words out. And then he was pushing into her and his eyes were inches away and glazed in pleasure and her whole body was trembling on the verge of abandon. It was too much, she closed her eyes and savored the feel of him.

"OH-, oh Katie, you feel so good," he gasped as he slowed his thrusts, obviously trying to regain some control.

"Oh, don't stop. Oh, right there..." She was loud, but she didn't care. No one was now and she wanted him, wild and unrestrained.

His nostrils were flared and his eyes hazy with lust when he demanded, "Then look at me."

She did and when she focused, staring into his eye, feeling his hand come to cup her cheek and she smiled. "You're so beautiful."

"So are you," she giggled, leaning up to kiss him, pulling him closer as she moaned again, feeling him that spot, deep inside her. Yes. That was it. "Oh, yes... yesyesyesyes."

Ge began to drive into her relentlessly, perfectly. She watched his jaw clench, the cords of neck straining as grunted deliciously. "I can't- I'm, oh fuck!" he ground out and then he was coming.

His pleasure ignited something in her and without knowing it was going to happen, she was coming too. She moaned and pulsed around him, as he rocked gently into her, savoring every blissful aftershock.

With his arms still braced on either side of her, he placed a feather soft kiss on her lips. Then, he stood and pushed the window open before collapsing beside her on the bed and throwing an arm over his eyes. Turning on her side, she gently pulled it away from his face. They just stared at each other, eyes roaming hungrily over the other's features. And then he gave her that smile again, so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness, that unexpected warmth rushed through her. She ran a fingertip over his sweaty brow and down along his jaw. She could feel the scratch of the day's stubble under the pad of her finger, another reminder of the man he had become, and was shocked at how much she wanted him again.

"Would you ask me to come with you?" he asked.

The cautious hopefulness in his voice made her heart clench. She'd hurt him so much.

"Would you ask me to stay?" She replied.

"I feel like that's all I've been doing since you tried to sneak out of the bakery yesterday." He kissed her fingertip. "Will you stay?"

"I want to," she sighed. "I just don't know if I can. I wish my mom was here."

His eyes shuttered then, losing some of the naked vulnerability, which she both appreciated and despised. He nodded and rolled over onto his back. She scooted into his side and he allowed her to pillow her head on his chest. And at that moment, with the cool breeze blowing through the window, the feel of clean, sun-dried sheets under her bare skin and his solid warmth beside her, she couldn't understand how she could possibly make herself leave.

* * *

When Katie awoke, the predawn light filtering in through the window made his hair look silver. She laid beside Ned, watching him, admiring the intimate details of him: the fleshiness of his earlobe, the freckles that dotted his shoulders, the trail of coarse hair running down the plane of his belly. She watched as the light changed to pink, turning his hair rose gold. She loved him. She probably always had, but there was no denying it now. As the swell of love for Ned Banks crested in her heart, she felt the ebbing pull of terror that she would lose him. That the losses would be too great and she would lose herself too. Maybe for good this time.

She watched him sleep, the reliable rise and fall of his beautiful chest, the flutter of his impossibly long eyelashes. As she lost herself in the beauty of him, the constant buzz of pain, the ever-present static that she'd carried with her since the day her father had died, came into acute focus as if tuned in on a radio dial: she wanted this, she thought. It was so clear and undeniable, it resonated, echoing through the expansive emptiness of her soul.

Without warning, his breath cut off in a ragged gasp, then stopped altogether, his body rigid. His arm shot out to the side, grasping her thigh, she didn't dare move. He sucked in a shaky breath and turned, wrapping a heavy arm around her waist, a heavenly anchor tying her to this time and place. There was nothing better in this world than sleeping next to his warm, solid body, he was comfort personified. With the realization that she never wanted to be anywhere else, she slipped back to sleep.

When she woke again, sun streaming through the window like lost time, he was gone. She told herself that she expected it, that she absolutely deserved it, but it still hurt more than she wanted to admit.

As she lay there alone, in a bed she feared would always seem too big without him beside her, the truth bloomed in her heart. She didn't just want Ned's forgiveness, she wanted all of him. She loved him. Really, truly loved him. And if she was terrifyingly honest with herself, she had to admit that she wanted to see what happened next. She wanted to stay.

The moment she let herself accept this, a whole new life unspooled through her mind. She'd finally called her mother, who despite being somewhere in South America dispensed the best maternal advice she could as Katie folded a mountain of Mackenzie's laundry in the living room. She'd convinced her to come home, even if it was only for a little while, just to see if Melinda could handle being home again. Melinda realized she just couldn't do it alone, and before she'd shut her children out because they were just reminders of her dead husband.

She thought of the songs she would write on her own porch, the steps of which were the perfect height for perching a guitar on her knee. She could finally sing about her dad and not just his absence. Because even though she'd lost him, she didn't love him any less. And Ned, kind, wonderful, mind-bendingly beautiful Ned. The thought of staring at him across the kitchen table as he chatted about his day or waking up every morning wrapped in his arms, his heartbeat a percussive melody, an endless chant, alive, alive, alive against her ear, made her heart stutter with longing.

She grabbed her keys, and without allowing herself to think about it, she went after him.

She pushed into the precinct, trying to ignore how good it felt to be in a place that was so him. But she didn't see him anywhere.

"Well, well, if it isn't our hometown celebrity, Ms. Katherine Clancy. Here to sing for us, doll?" Katie was not in the mood for Ned's buddy Devon to be pulling shit with her or the cold-eyed stare he was giving her. She knew she'd hurt Ned, she didn't need his surly face to remind her. If she had learned anything in the past few years, it was that whatever was between her and Ned, it was nobody else's business.

"Ned around?" she said with her best take-no-shit stare.

Devon looked at her for a moment, possibly weighing whether to tell her, possibly just making her wait before he gestured back with a bob of his head. "He's in the break room."

With a quick nod of thanks, she headed around back to the break room. She wasn't prepared for the rush of affection and relief that rolled through her at the sight of him. She realized that a part of her expected him to have left this time. But there Ned was, laughing and eating a bag of chips. When he saw her, his face broke into a grin and her heart melted a little as he stood to walk closer to her.

He didn't hate her.

"Lemme guess, you missed me," he said, a teasing tone that tried to cover up that the other option could be that she'd come to say goodbye.

"I wasn't sure where you…" She suddenly felt ridiculous for having chased him down. He probably needed the time to think.

"Didn't you get my note?" he asked, squinting at her. "I left it on the kitchen table."

She shook her head, feeling even more foolish. In her panic that he'd gone, she hadn't looked.

"There was an early crime scene," he grunted, walking with her out into the tiny hallway. They were alone now, even if they were a few feet from his coworkers. "I needed to meet the CSI crew out there."

"Oh, that makes sense." She smiled. "Well, I don't want to bother you at work."

He shrugged. "Don't worry about it. I'm on my lunch break," he glanced down at his watch. "I've still got a half an hour."

She cleared her throat, trying to quell the anxiety that threatened to close her windpipe. "Wanna go to dinner with me tonight?"

He squinted at her, grinning. "Yeah."

"How about tomorrow night too?" she asked.

"I'd love that," he smiled, resting his hand on her waist.

"And again the night after that?" She asked.

"Katie, don't mess with me. Are you...?"

"I'm gonna take a little music hiatus while I work on my new album. I was thinking about sticking around for a while since my mom's gonna come home and we're gonna keep the house. Do you think we can give this," she reached for his hand, "a real shot again, Ned?"

He looked at her, into her, with his eyes glinting like chipped sea glass, then stepped so close to her that she had to tilt her head up to see his face. "You don't get it, Katie. I want to be wherever you are - period. Whether that's traveling night by night watching you sing or here in Grandview; if you'll have me, I'm there. I won't spend another seven years of my life without you. I love you, it's just that simple."

Could it be simple? Could it be possible to allow yourself to be happy and whole when the people you loved most were cold in the ground? As she looked between those unbelievably blue eyes, so full of hope and longing, she realized it was not only possible, it was the only way to honor them.

She reached up on her tiptoes to brush a kiss across his lips. All of sudden, she couldn't wait to get him alone. "Are you almost done?"

He tipped her chin up, pressing another soft kiss to her lips as his fingertips slid down her jaw to caress her neck. She shivered deliciously under his touch.

"I just need to finish up my report from the crime scene and then I think my boss will let me go. I might even be able to convince him to let me go and finish it at home," he grinned at her.

"Do that," she agreed, her mouth already watering in anticipation. "Then let's go home."


End file.
